Superman
by lacksubstance
Summary: LARGER SUMMARY INSIDE: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. Brittana, femslash.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys, so some of you probably don't know me, but I'm new to writing for Glee/Brittana, but I miss writing on here so much and I thought I'd take on the challenge that is Brittana. My friend Michelle (0oIKissedAGirl0o) helped me get a story idea for these two and she came up with this one. So if you guys like it, please hit the little review button at the bottom of the page and let me know and the more reviews I get the faster I'll update. So on to the story (:_

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 1**

_Santana, _

_You have no idea how proud I am of you. Every morning I wake up knowing that you're out there fighting for our country and doing all of this to make the world a better place. At the same time, I cry at night, knowing you're not next to me to hold me and aren't going to be next to me when I wake up. I try to be strong because I know that's what you ask of me every time you leave and every time we speak. You tell me "it'll be over before you know it. I'll be home soon". It's been three years, when is it finally over? When will you be home? I need you and I miss you like you cannot believe. I'm being patient and I'm being strong for her. I hope you know how much we miss you. I love you so much Santana, never forget that. I'm here waiting for you when you come home. _

_I love you. _

_Brittany._

_Hi Mommy. I miss you. I turned 3 today and had a party. I wish you could see me. But since you can't, Momma and I sent you a picture. I love you Mommy. Come home._

_Love Maya_

Santana couldn't count how many times she read the two letters. She couldn't count how many times she looked at the picture that came with them. She missed her family. It's hard to believe it's been three years since she's been home. Three years since she's held their daughter Maya. Last time she had her in her arms was when she was nearly five months old. It killed her knowing that she hasn't been there to see her grow up.

She ran her hand through her perfectly pulled back hair, letting tears stream down her cheeks as she held the letters in one hand and the picture in the other. She just wanted to go home, but she knew she couldn't.

As she thought all of this, someone sat down next to her. She began wiping her eyes furiously, trying to hide her weakness. She hated showing weakness, especially here.

"You know you don't have to be strong right now," Her shirt said Ramirez on it. She's been Santana's bunk mate for the last three years, even though she's been here much longer and they grew fairly close. They had a very interesting friendship just because she could relate to what Santana was feeling. She hasn't seen her husband and her seven year old son in as long as Santana and it broke her heart as much as it broke Santana's.

"I have to for them. You of all people know that Alex," Santana simply says.

Alex nods slightly. "Yes, but they're not here, therefore you're allowed to cry your heart out," she replies. "God knows I do," she adds shifting to the side, crossing her arms.

"Does it ever get easier?" Santana asks, looking up at her. Alex looks down at the floor, shuffling her feet in the Middle Eastern sand, then looks back up at the Latina.

"No. No it doesn't," Alex replies shaking her head, feeling her own set of tears welling up in her green eyes. Santana leaned over and began hugging Alex tightly in her arms, closing her eyes, to prevent the tears from spilling out. "Let them out Lopez" she hears Alex whisper as her voice cracks and before either woman noticed; they were both in tears.

_Lima, Ohio_

"Okay, now you be good, okay?" Brittany tells the three year old brunette little girl, with blue eyes. Maya begins to shift from side to side, looking down at the floor.

"Momma I'm always good," she says in a little innocent voice, looking up at her, batting her eyelashes.

Brittany just smirks laughing slightly. "Uh huh sure you are. Now give me a hug and a kiss, so I can get to work," she says, kneeling down to her daughter's level. Maya stomps over to Brittany and buries her body into her mother's arms, as Brittany held her tightly. She loved her so much. She really didn't know where'd she'd be without her.

After pulling away, Maya leaned over and kissed Brittany then ran off into the classroom. "Have a good day!" Brittany shouted in her direction, before sighing somewhat sadly. As she was about to walk out of the school, she hears "Momma", making her turn around.

She sees Maya peaking her head out of the classroom, giving her a goofy grin. "Go to school," Brittany tells her, making Maya pout. "Go," she tells her again, this time Maya sighs loudly.

"Fine, I love you Momma," Maya shouts to her, walking back into the classroom, signaling for Brittany to leave.

As she's walking out to the parking lot, to get to her car, she hears her name being called, making her sigh and turn around to see Quinn, walking over to her.

"Brittany, jeez it's been awhile," Quinn says, pulling her hair behind her ear, walking over to her and giving her a warm, tight hug.

"Um yeah it has, since high school I guess," Brittany replies, as they begin walking further into the parking lot.

"Yeah, so how have you been? Did you just come out of the preschool?" Quinn asks, making Brittany look down for a moment.

"I've been pretty good and yeah I was just dropping my daughter Maya off," she replies to the other blonde, who nods. "Um, what about you?" she adds, walking down a row of cars.

"Oh same, just hanging around I guess, and yeah I just dropped my daughter off as well," she replies. They never thought a reunion would be this awkward, seeing as they never left high school on bad terms or anything. Their guess was that they just assumed they'd all keep in touch; clearly that didn't happen.

"So are you married?" Quinn breaks the silence, making Brittany look up and smile sadly.

"Yeah, yeah I am," Brittany replies softly. It's not that she isn't happy to be married to Santana, it's just that she wished she was here.

"Oh really? Congratulations whenever it happened. Who's the lucky guy?" Quinn asked happily.

Brittany almost laughed out loud, but decided it'd be best that she didn't, but she did laugh slightly. "Um…I'm married to Santana. I'm a Lopez now," she replies with a little shrug, making Quinn's eyes widen and her mouth drop slightly before she started laughing.

"I should've saw that coming," Quinn replied to her, still laughing. "I'm really happy for you guys," she adds, hugging Brittany warmly again, before looking down at her phone. "Shit, I have to get to work, but here give me your number, I'd love to get together with you and Santana. Maybe we can have a play date with Maya and Grace,"

"Yeah sure, but Santana won't be able to come. She's actually deployed right now in the Middle East," Brittany states sadly.

"Oh my God, how long has she been gone?" Quinn asks shocked. Santana was one of the last people she'd expect from Glee Club to be in the military. Actually she expected none of the Glee Club members would ever be in the military.

"Three years, but here's my number. Send me a text, so I can get yours because I really got to get to work as well. It was nice seeing you again Quinn, please don't be a stranger," Brittany replies quickly, giving Quinn a quick hug, then stalking away to her car.

As soon as Brittany got the car unlocked, she got into the car and placed the key in the ignition, but didn't turn it on right away. She just sat there and began to cry. She hated talking about Santana being away from her because all she could say was the basics and if someone asks her "well isn't that hard?" all she wants to do is lash out at them and say "Well of course it's hard" and some other colorful words. She tries to remain strong for Maya, but sometimes she can't help but bust out in tears.

For Maya's last three birthdays, Brittany threw her a birthday party and every time she tells her to make a wish. Brittany would jokingly ask her what she wished for and Maya would just tell her "For Mommy to come home". For every birthday she could talk that's always been her wish. No presents. Just Santana. And for the last three birthdays that Brittany has had. Brittany has wished for the same thing.

"I miss you so much," Brittany says through her tears to no one in particular. She didn't know how long she sat there, until she finally decided she needed to compose herself. She began to wipe her tears off her face and cheeks, finally starting the car so she could head to work.

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><p><em>Let me know what you think in a review. (:<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Back with another chapter; Heather Michelle commented that my last one was too small, so I made this one longer; Chapter 3 is also written. Also I got a Twitter not sure why; just to make sure she keeps writing -wink wink- **https:/ /twitter .com/#!/SamCaiazzo** (no spaces of course); I hardly think I'm popular enough for anyone to follow me, but yeah. I randomly tell you if I'm writing and I'd reply back to posts, but yeah there's the link. Lastly, thank you for the reviews and for the alerts and favorites, BUT for those of you who just alerted and favored it, I'd love to hear your feedback even if it's bad; constructive criticism never killed anybody. So anyway, thank you again and enjoy the second chapter._

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><p><strong>Superman<strong>

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 2**

_Baghdad, Iraq_

Santana sat on the cool sand outside her bunks, just staring up at the night sky. The stars were shining bright tonight and the air was surprisingly cool, just because it gets so hot throughout the day, it's hard to believe the temperature decreases as much as it does. She was sitting there deep in thought, just thinking about back home and how they were doing. Her squad was being shipped out tomorrow, so she knows something was about to go down, unfortunately all she knows is that they're going to be moving out; nothing more.

"Hey Lopez," she hears someone call. She turns around to see Alex peaking her head out of one of the areas, waving for her to come over, causing Santana to get up and dust herself off and make her way into the area.

She walks in and sees a computer screen with a feed going in and her mouth drops slightly as she sees her wife, Brittany on the screen. When she finally comes to her senses, she quickly makes her way in front of the screen and sits down; taking that as a signal, Alex leaves the area to give the two some time alone.

"Hey baby," Brittany says with a big smile, causing tears to well up in the Latina's eyes.

Santana shakes her head, trying to stop herself from crying "Hey. I keep reading your letters over and over and the picture," Santana starts, before pulling it out of her pocket and showing Brittany "the picture is always with me and no one is going to take it away from me," she says, making Brittany laugh.

Santana can tell Brittany was crying herself, but at this point in time, they didn't care. They may not be physically together, but at least they can see each other and talk face to face via computer screen.

Santana then hears little frantic footsteps and Brittany's head turns away from the screen. "Hey you wanna say hi to Mommy?" she asks, then grabs and pulls Maya on her lap in front of the screen, making Santana just lose it. She lets the tears fall heavily, just because the little girl is so grown since she's last been with them and it broke her heart knowing she missed so much of the girl's life so far.

"Hi Mommy," Maya says waving at the screen.

Santana looks up with tears still streaming down her face. "Hey baby," she manages to get out touching the screen.

"Why you crying?" Maya asks the brunette, making Santana wipe her face a little, before composing herself.

"Because I'm happy that I get to see and talk to you," she replies to the little brunette, as Brittany looks down as if she was trying to hide her smile.

"When you coming back?" Maya asks her. Santana couldn't help, but feel terrible about this whole thing. She wanted to desperately come home and be with her family. She'd kill to be with them again; no pun intended. She hated the idea that she's missing out on everything Maya has done. Her first steps, her first word, her first tooth, her first day at preschool; what other firsts will she miss?

"Soon baby," was all she could say in a mere whisper; talking to her daughter may have made her happy, but it also desperately broke her heart.

"Hey honey, why don't you go play, so I can talk to Mommy for awhile?" she hears Brittany tell Maya, who just begins to pout, almost making Santana laugh, just because she could see herself doing that when she was younger.

"No, I stay here," she pouts, crossing her arms to signal she isn't moving.

"Hey baby, I promise, I won't leave until I say goodbye to you okay? Just let me talk to her for a little bit, then she'll call you back, all right?" Santana wagers to Maya, who's face softens, before glancing up at Brittany, who gives her a reassuring smile, and with a sigh, she hops off the blonde's lap and walks off to play, making Santana laugh a little.

"She's adorable," the brunette comments to her wife, who's looking intently back at her.

"Yeah, she has so much of you in her. It's almost insane that you weren't even the one who carried her," Brittany comments, making her laugh loudly.

"What can I say? She's a Lopez," she replies, making Brittany laugh and agree.

"I saw Quinn today, when I dropped Maya off at school," Brittany changes the subject, shocking Santana. She hasn't seen Quinn for as long as Brittany has; she hasn't seen anybody from the Glee Club since graduation.

"Really? How'd that go?" Santana asked interested about her old friend.

Brittany just shrugs. "It was okay, I guess. I told her I married you and she asked us all over for a play date with her daughter, but I nearly broke down when we spoke about you because I knew you wouldn't be there," she summarizes and as doing this she begins to tear up again, causing Santana to look down sadly. The Latina desperately just wanted to reach into that screen and hold her close and prevent her from crying, but she just couldn't.

"I'm sorry," was all she could say, making Brittany shake her head fiercely to stop the crying.

"It's not your fault. I know you want to be here as much as we want you here," she states, making the brunette nod in agreement. "San, when does this end?" she asks her wife.

"What do you mean?" Santana counters back.

"I mean, when is it enough? When can you at least visit? When will we finally have enough to a point where we just give up?" Brittany asks angrily. Santana knew she wasn't angry at her, but more so the situation. It frustrated them both, but Santana wasn't sure what Brittany was exactly asking. Did she not want to be married to her anymore? Did she just want to give up on everything they have for someone who is physically there? What did she want?

"What are you trying to say Britt?" she asks fearfully. She didn't want them to end things. She just officially was able to call her hers, she wasn't about to let Brittany walk away from her like that.

"Oh no, no baby, it's not what you think," she starts, letting the Latina breathe out a sigh of relief "I just…I just miss you so much and it feels like with each passing day that I'm not with you, I get more and more lonely and upset," she tells her slowly, trying to find the right words to say.

"I know what you mean," Santana replied before getting the signal to wrap it up. "Hey I need to get going, can you tell Maya to come over here so I can say goodbye to her?" She asks her wife, who nods, before calling out to Maya, who runs back to the screen.

"Mommy has to go now," the older brunette says to the younger one, who leans over and kisses the screen, making new tears well up in her brown orbs. "I felt that, right here," she tells her, putting her hand to her heart, giving her a warm smile.

She looks at the blonde on the screen. "I love you," she says, making Brittany smile.

"I love you too San, more than anyone else in this world," she replies back to her, which gave the Latina a major reassurance.

"I love you Maya, good night guys…goodbye," Santana says and just as she was about to disconnect the feed.

"San!" she hears Brittany yell and she looks up. "It's not goodbye. It's see you later," she tells her with smile, making the brunette nod returning the smile.

"See you later then," she tells them, before disconnecting the feed.

_It's not goodbye. It's see you later, _Santana kept thinking to herself that night.

_Lima, Ohio_

_Back to reality,_ Brittany thinks as she watches the computer screen say 'No Signal'. She looks around their house for a moment. It was extremely quiet and unsettling for her. She wished she had someone or something to keep her mind off of Santana. Sure she had Maya, but she was an even bigger constant reminder because she was like a mini Santana.

She licked her bottom lip, capturing it between her teeth, finally deciding to pull her phone out and call someone. "Hey Quinn, is there a chance you're free tonight?" she asks through the receiver. "Great I'll meet you at Chili's at seven, bye," she replies, before ending the call. She sighs and runs her hand through her hair and walks over to Maya's room, to see her playing with her dolls.

"Hey honey, you wanna go visit Grandma and Grandpa?" she asks, leaning against the doorframe. Maya looks up with a big smile and nods frantically. She loved her grandparents; they always spoiled her. The young brunette jumped up and grab Brittany's hand with one of her own, holding one doll in the other and pulled her.

"Whoa, someone's excited," she states laughing, allowing herself to be pulled out to the car, not before stopping to retrieve her keys.

SBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSB

Brittany and Maya made their way up the steps to her parents house; her slower than the younger girl. Maya got to the front door and knocked on it, then waited patiently rocking back and forth on her feet. Brittany couldn't help, but laugh at that; she looked so innocent and happy, except she knew better about the innocent part. It's not that she's a bad kid, she just has a little bit of an anger issue when it comes to the other kids at school.

The door opens and she sees her Mom, Jessica at the door and she looks down at the little girl, with a big smile.

"Well hello there, who dropped this little bundle of joy off on my doorstep?" Brittany's mom says jokingly, making Maya giggle.

"Grandma it's me! Maya!" she says, making Jessica gasp and kneel down to her level.

"It is? Oh my, you seem to get bigger and bigger every time I see you," she replies, picking her up, poking her nose making the little girl laugh. "Hey honey," she says to her daughter finally, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek, guiding them inside the house.

Jessica finally puts Maya down and instantly she runs around the house, looking for her grandpa, Van causing her to turn to her daughter. "How are you doing?" she asks Brittany.

She just shrugs. "I'm okay, I suppose. I just got done talking to Santana on Skype and I just needed to get out of the house, so I'm gonna go meet up with Quinn at Chili's," she tells her mom, who nods.

"Why didn't you choose Breadstix? You love that place, plus you went there all the time during high school. It'd be a good place to reminisce with an old friend," Jessica asks curiously, causing her to shift to the side and look down at the floor.

"I went there a lot with Santana. It's Santana's favorite place and I really don't want to go back there until she's back. I'm afraid I won't be able to finish eating without crying," she explains, causing her mom to sigh and nod in understanding.

She brings her arms around her daughter and gives her a kiss on the forehead. She knew how hard it was for her to not have Santana there; they were always around each other; call it attached to the hip. When she found out that her and the Latina were together romantically, she wasn't the least bit surprised and she had to admit, she couldn't have picked a better person for her daughter.

"I gotta get going. I'll pick her up after," she tells her mom, who just waves it off, signaling for her to take her time. "I don't think I'll be able to pry her away from Dad, so just tell her I love her and I'll see her in a little while for me," Brittany adds to her mom, who smiles and nods, before the younger blonde steps out the door and gets into her car, driving off.

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Brittany turns into the Chili's parking lot and spots Quinn instantly outside, waiting on one of the benches, with someone next to her. She gets out of her car and walks over to her, getting ready to apologize for being a little bit late, then noticed who was next to her.

"Rachel?" she says in a questioning tone, before getting hugged by the small brunette.

"Brittany, hi. I heard you and Santana became an official item. My two gay dads would be proud," she says with a big smile, making Brittany laugh and nod.

"I don't doubt that, but um…I thought you'd be on Broadway," she tells her uneasy and pretty much wondering why Rachel was there with Quinn.

"Oh I did, but it was full of some unsettling people and though I enjoyed it a great deal, I felt my place was back home," she stated looking at Quinn, who smiled down at her, wrapping her arm around her, making Rachel lean into her, placing her head on her shoulder.

"Rachel and I got married in Canada as soon as she got back from New York," Quinn clarifies, making her eyes widen in shock and blinked a few times. The last two people she expected to get married was Quinn and Rachel. They weren't exactly fans of one another in high school, with fighting over Finn.

"Wow, congratulations," she finally tells them, before they get called for their table.

They sit down in their booth and Brittany begins to look at the menu, then gets snapped out of her reading by Rachel.

"By the way, I'd like to tell you how sorry I am about Santana being deployed. I imagine it's a struggle being that you two were so attached. I couldn't imagine it. I guess that explains why you didn't want to go to Breadstix," Rachel tells her, making her nod sincerely. She appreciated her sympathy, even though she didn't find it entirely necessary.

"Thank you. I appreciate that, but it's alright. We're being strong and she'll be home soon, we hope anyway," she replies looking back at the menu, figuring out what she wants to order.

"So did you guys keep in touch with anyone else from Glee Club?" Brittany asks changing the subject, not looking up from her menu.

"Oh I did," Rachel starts. "I kept in touch with Kurt and Blaine; they're still in New York on Broadway; needless to say they have tougher skin than I did," she replies with a little laugh.

The waitress came up to them to take their drink and food order, since they were all ready then after the waitress left, they went back to talking.

"And I kept in touch with Sam and Puck sort of. Last I heard, Sam and Mercedes were together and Puck was still with Lauren. I wasn't sure what shocked me more out of those pairings," Quinn states, making them both sort of laugh.

"I imagine Tina and Mike are probably still together with their little Asian babies running around," Brittany comments, making them all giggle and nod.

"Did either one of you keep in touch with Artie?" Brittany asks awkwardly. She didn't really end things well with him. He knew her and Santana had something going on behind his back, but he'd never admit it, until she told him she was breaking up with him because her feelings for Santana were becoming unbearably strong. She didn't want to lie to him, not that she ever could; she couldn't really lie to anyone, but she can hide her feelings pretty well if she didn't want anyone to see them.

They shook their heads slowly. "No and he didn't keep in touch with anybody, last I heard anyway," Quinn states, making Brittany nod. "He was pretty broken up that you ended it with him, but let's face it; everyone knows you and Santana are soul mates," she adds, making her smile warmly.

"Thanks, that reassurance always makes me feel like I made the right decision," Brittany tells them.

"Do you ever feel like you didn't?" Rachel asks timidly, causing Brittany to look at her, then glance down to nothing in particular, then begin shaking her head.

"No, not once," she says in a slight whisper, only loud enough for them to hear.

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The three girls' get together went uneventful, they ate and reminisced about high school and the Glee Club; about how much fun they had back then. They couldn't figure out why they never kept in touch exactly, but they were glad they found each other again, especially Brittany. She needed them more than ever, just so they can keep her mind off Santana and the loneliness.

So that night there Brittany laid in her bed, trying to get comfortable. She tossed and turned countless times, until finally huffing and staring up at the ceiling, thinking about the last time Santana was there.

_Santana laid on top of Brittany kissing her lips passionately as the blonde grabbed on to the Latina's dog tags gently, holding her close to her body. She didn't want to let her go. She knew that this would be the last time she'd have her wife on top of her, holding her, kissing her; intoxicating her for awhile. Santana pulls away after a few minutes, breathing heavily, placing a simple kiss on to the blonde's lips, stroking her hair._

"_What are you thinking about?" Santana breaks the silence with a whisper._

_Brittany just smiled and placed her hand on the Latina's cheek, stroking it gently before leaning in and kissing her lips deeply. "I don't want this moment to end," she whispers to her._

"_I don't either and when I get back we will have so many more moments like this," Santana promises. "But for now, I won't let go of you and you will not let go of me," She adds, sliding off her body and laying down next to the blonde, pulling her close to her body as Brittany wrapped her arms around her._

"_You're wrong, you know," Brittany whispers to her wife, causing the brunette to look down to meet her blue orbs. "When you leave, I won't ever let go of you. You'll always be in my heart. You'll always be on my mind. No matter where I go, something will always remind me of you," Brittany tells her, causing Santana's mouth to open a little before some tears formed at the brims of her eyes, threatening to spill, but never doing so._

_She leans down and kisses the blonde deeply. "When did you get to be so wise?" She asks, giving her a little smile, causing her wife to laugh._

Brittany curled up in hers and Santana's King size bed, holding her pillow close, closing her eyes tight. She missed her wife. She couldn't believe it's been three years since the last time she had any physical contact with her. She desperately needed it. Whenever she was able to come home. This time; this time she was physically not letting go.

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><p><em>Okay, right now this story is extremely sad, but trust me it won't always be this sad; just bare with me. I have another story that I'm writing with this as well. The first chapter is already completed, but you'll know when I post it. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think.<em>


	3. Chapter 3

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 3**

_Baghdad, Iraq_

With gun in hand, Santana and the rest of her squad walked the sands of Baghdad. It was quiet; too quiet. Times like this gives her a constant reminder that she had to be on her toes; that anything could happen. She remembered having a couple of close calls, where she almost got tackled or shot by the enemy, but she learned to keep a watchful eye on things.

She scaled the entire area; nothing but sand, rocks, and intense heat. She couldn't believe they were walking out in the open like this. She almost feared that in one instant they could be attacked; some of the squad doesn't have as much of a watchful eye like she does so she worried more for them than her.

She turned the corner of one of the rock formations and was met with an elbow to the face, hitting her hard to the floor as the back of their gun bagged into her stomach repeatedly. Santana was slowly feeling the wind getting knocked out of her, until she pulled her feet up and kicked them hard in the stomach, pushing them back into a rock formation, giving her a chance to get up.

She quickly got up and pointed her rifle at him before he could compose himself. He stuck his hands up fearful as she gave him that hard stare. "Stay here," she simply said, as she was about to call it in to her captain, she heard shots being fired; it was an ambush.

She turned back to the fearful man; she didn't want to let him go, so she just hit him in the back of the head with the back of her gun, knocking him unconscious, before running to her squad.

She jumped behind one of the rocks for cover, then pops up at the top, firing over at the enemy. She was a careful shooter; even in training. She took her time, but just enough time to make the right shot. She got up again and aimed right for one of their enemy's chest, hitting them then ducked back behind her shelter.

She looked to the side of her and noticed Alex, with another Private; he looked terrified, which almost made her laugh because he has women fighting next to him; literally and they look more fearless than him. Alex looked over at her and mouthed to her 'Are you alright' and with a nod, Santana got back up and hit another man, this time in the head, then ducked again, then spotted Alex get up and use her gun, then duck back.

The male Private got up and began shooting; he managed to get a enemy then unexpectedly got shot in the shoulder. Santana's eyes widened and Alex turned over to her, telling her to come over.

"MAN DOWN!" Alex yelled to the squad near by as Santana made her way from her cover, shooting at some of the enemy as she made her way over to their area.

She leaned down next to the Private. "Santana," he breathed out with a smile. "Still alive I see," he adds, making her laugh.

"Damien, see you're barely alive," she comments, as Alex puts pressure on his wound. Santana got pretty close to everyone in her squad and let's say Damien was more of the "jokester" of the group.

"Ah nah, it's just a scratch," he waves off with his other hand, wincing a little at the pressure.

"Oh yeah, a scratch," she comments, before Alex wraps a shoe lace around his wound. She knew it wasn't the best idea, but it's fast thinking and the best she could do right now.

"We're gonna start moving you to safety okay? You're gonna be fine Damien," Alex tells him as, they start to pick him up and quickly pull him.

"COVER US!" Santana yells to the rest of the squad, as they pull Damien quickly out of the war zone. They run past their squad as they shoot and go behind some of the rock formations and find their captain, Tony Guzzo.

"I called in for a medic. They said there's a medic center not too far from here, if you can make it around this mess, we can meet you there. We're planning to make camp there. Do you think you'll be able to make it?" Tony asks the two women and they look down at Damien, who's looking up at them.

"These chicas can handle anything," he comments, making them smile.

"Yes sir, we can handle it," Santana finally responds, letting Tony give them a stiff nod and issues them the coordinates of the closest medic center, giving them the signal to drag Damien.

_Lima, Ohio_

Brittany woke up to one of the worst sleeps she's ever had; actually she hasn't slept too well since Santana was deployed. She always worried about her, like if she was alright, if she was safe; thoughts like that. She remembered the first night without her, she dreamt that she was shot in the chest during battle and died instantly. It looked and felt so real and she literally couldn't get passed it for a week; sometimes she still couldn't get passed it, but thankfully every time she heard her voice or saw her over Skype, she got the reassurance that she was still alive and well; all things considered.

Brittany finally got the energy to get out of bed, then sluggishly walked over to Maya's room, to find the little brunette still fast asleep. They had to get up for school and work, much to Brittany's disliking, so she walked in and sat down by her daughter's bed side and gently shook the small form, then leaned over to the little girl's ear.

"Baby time to wake up," she whispered, hearing the little girl groan, but take no signs she was physically going to get up. "Maya, honey c'mon," she tries again, shaking her a little more, before the little girl turned on her back and looked at her mom tiredly.

"I don't wanna," she whined, making Brittany smile gently.

"I don't either, but I'm up. Sometimes we have to do things we don't wanna do," she explains to the young girl, who ends up pouting anyway, then finally makes the attempt to get out of bed.

Brittany finally stood up when Maya was officially out of bed, then walked out of the room, making her way into her own room to get dressed.

SBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSB

Brittany managed to get Maya to school and to work on time, for once in a long time today. She knew her boss wasn't really all that pleased with her attendance, but he knew that she's been having a rough time with being the only one taking care of her daughter while her wife is away; it's tough, besides it's not like she doesn't show up, she just shows up a little late.

As Brittany works at her desk, she notices one of her coworkers, Angela trying to get her attention, so she looks up to signal she was listening.

"Did you finish that file before you left yesterday?" She asked, causing Brittany to grab the file and toss it in her direction. She was surprisingly good at what she does, even if the job wasn't what she would enjoy; it's not glamorous, but she was really good at it, which would also explain why she hasn't been fired yet for her tardiness.

"You're a lifesaver," Angela replies, looking through the file, to check it out to see it was all in order.

"So I've been told," she comments, still looking at her screen. She worked on collecting money for the company from their manufactures and ironically she wasn't even going to apply for the job, but Santana told her to. The truth is, Brittany didn't think she was capable of handling it all, meaning she thought she wasn't smart enough for the position, but Santana believed Brittany was capable of doing anything she set her mind to and she told her that. Santana never made her feel stupid, in fact some of her smartest words and phrases were when she physically spoke to her, so maybe she brought out the intelligent side of her.

"Oh hey, so any word on when your wife will be back?" Angela asks, trying to make small talk. She wasn't that close to her, but she appreciated the gesture that she's trying to make an effort she guessed, but Brittany just shook her head. "Jeez, it's been like what…" Angela started.

"Three years," Brittany chimed in, making Angela give her a sympathetic look and shake her head.

"It's ridiculous that she couldn't even visit you within that time. I'm not saying she doesn't want to of course, but it's really fucked up that the military wouldn't let her, y'know?" She explains to the other woman, which she obviously knew all this. She said all of this in her head on a daily basis, but all she could do is nod.

"I have faith it'll be soon, but in the meantime, I'm gonna remain focused on these memos and my daughter," Brittany replies, going back to her typing, making the other woman nod as she got back to her own work.

_Baghdad, Iraq_

Santana and Alex have been carrying Damien for they don't know how long, but he was still alive thankfully. They continued to follow the coordinates, like they're suppose to, but being that the entire area is just sand and rocks, they keep getting confused.

"I feel like we've passed this place before," Damien comments, making Santana stop and sigh.

"It's all sand and rock, how can you even tell?" She asked and he just shrugged and mumbled an 'I don't know'. Alex looks down at the coordinates and compares them to their current location then starts looking around the area.

"We're close, let's just keep moving," Alex states and as she was about to start walking, she stops and looks over in the other woman's direction. "Shit San," she whispers, then walks over to her and puts her hand up to Santana's head, causing her to wince "You are bleeding really badly," she states to her, getting ready to find something to stop it.

"It's fine, just a scratch. Let's just keep moving," Santana brushes off, picking Damien up off the ground. Though Alex wasn't happy about this, she knew Santana was stubborn and she wasn't just going to give in, so she just sighed and helped her carry him.

They continued to walk towards where the coordinates told them to go, when a call began coming through, causing Santana to pull her walkie talkie off.

"Private Lopez where' is your location?" They hear Tony's voice run through the frequency, causing her to press the button as soon as Alex showed her the current coordinates.

"We are currently 45 degrees north and 10 degrees west sir," she replies back to him and soon his voice rings back through.

"All right, the squad and I have made it safely to the next campsite, we will see you three shortly, over and out," he replies ending the conversation; it was a short conversation, then Santana places the walkie talkie back in the holster.

"We must be close, let's just keep moving," she tells them, making them both nod and continue walking.

The heat barreled down on them for another twenty or so minutes and they were all exhausted. It wasn't easy carrying a big guy like Damien on your shoulders for about two hours, but they were doing it; it was what they were trained to do and they are trained to get their people to safety and to defend.

They finally manage to get to the medics station, where they see all the camp and everyone, who was left cheers for them. All the men and few women couldn't believe that two women carried a 6'2, 250 pound man for two hours, but they did and when they reached the safe zone, Santana just collapsed.

She laid there while everyone began surrounding her. The sounds and her vision were beginning to blur and she just couldn't focus, until she felt herself being picked off the ground and placed on the stretcher bed. The medic began peeling her uniform off and lifted her shirt to see multiple bruises on her abdomen and the large gash on her forehead, causing them to start cleaning her forehead up.

Another medic ran by her side and began trying to force water into her mouth, hoping she'd drink it and thankfully she does and she starts opening her eyes again then begins to looks around at her surroundings.

"Welcome back Private Lopez, you fainted probably from lack of fluids. We're taking care of your cuts and bruises, but overall you live to fight another day," the medic tells her all at once. She didn't exactly pay attention to all of that; all she knew was she was alive.

As she laid there she just looked at the fabric of the tent and sighed. Her head hurt and she was sore; _really_ sore. Tony walked under the tent and sat down next to her and sighed heavily.

"How you doin' Private?" He asked her, patting her leg causing Santana to turn her head and look at him.

"I could be a lot better sir," she replies with a blank expression and he smiles slightly.

"You did well today. You acted fast and you succeeded to deliver Private James to safety," he rambled; she could tell he was getting to something, but she was trained not to interrupt any of her captains.

"With all do respect sir, what are you trying to say?" She asked him, causing him to nod.

"I'm sayin' we're sending you home," he tells her, causing her face to soften and her mouth gap open slightly.

"What?" She breaths out. She couldn't believe this. She hoped he was serious and wasn't just pulling a cruel joke on her, who was she kidding, nobody in the military would joke about that sort of thing.

"Your actions today were proof enough that you along with Private Ramirez deserve to go home," he explains to her with a smile and Santana couldn't help, but let the tears fall down her cheeks. She got to see Brittany; her wife; the love of her life, who she hasn't seen in over three years and her daughter. She would actually be able to hold her, hug her, kiss her goodnight, read her a bedtime story, comfort her if she had a nightmare; all of what she missed out on; she'll get to do soon.

"I'll let you call your family. Inform them you'll be placed on the first flight out and to pick you up in Columbus," he adds, patting her leg again, handing her a phone, before walking away to give her privacy.

_Lima, Ohio_

Brittany sat in the lunch room at work, fiddling with her food, while she sat with a few coworkers, who were talking about random things in their lives; mostly about their partners and children, which obviously Brittany couldn't participate in considering the situation; well about her partner anyway.

She really wasn't hungry, so she wasn't sure why she decided to buy lunch, if she knew she wasn't going to eat it. She just sighed and stabbed her fork into the salad, leaving it fully standing straight up, when her phone began to ring; she answered.

"Hello," she answered distantly.

"Hey baby," she heard on the other end; it was Santana and immediately a smile formed on her face.

"Hey, how are you?" Brittany asked in a softer tone, less distant than before.

"I'm alright, a little banged up. Some dude elbowed me and hit me with the back of his rifle, but it's better than being shot right?" She replied, causing Brittany to get up from the table and walk towards the counter away from the conversation.

"Oh my God San, are you okay?" She asked terrified; she didn't want something like her dream to happen for real.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, but I have something to tell you," she says, causing Brittany to remain silent, just waiting for Santana to continue. "You're gonna have to take off work tomorrow or the next day or both if you prefer," she said, making Brittany confused.

"Why?" She asked her wife. She sounded exhausted and somewhat in pain, but Brittany understood that she did get injured and they do have to get up early; she knew that from watching a few war movies.

"I'm coming home," Santana whispered. Brittany's eyes widen and her mouth gapped open and tears started welling up in her eyes. Brittany could help it, but she began to shake. Her whole body just began moving intensely, causing her hand to shake with the phone still attached to her ear.

"Santana Lopez, you better not be lying to me," she says as her voice cracks, making Santana laugh on the other line.

"I'm not baby, I'm coming home," she repeats, making Brittany's emotions run in full speed, letting the tears stream down her face, crying happy tears.

"When?" She manages to get out and by this time her coworkers are looking over in her direction, wondering what's going on since she's crying; they almost looked worried since they knew about the situation.

"I get on a plane tomorrow, then I should arrive in Columbus. I'm not sure when yet, but I just got the news," she tells her. "I'll call you when I know more, but don't tell Maya, I wanna surprise her," she finishes, making Brittany nod even though she knew she couldn't see her.

"Okay," she says sniffling. "I can't wait to hug you," she adds, making Santana laugh; she could imagine her smile; God she missed it.

"I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and hug you and make love to you. I'm planning on doing all of that when I get back, so be prepared," Santana warns her, making the blonde laugh slightly.

"I've been prepared for the last three years. Trust me I'm ready for all of that again," she tells her and she could tell her wife was smiling. "But I have to get back to work. Call me when you know more and I'll see you soon. I love you so much San," she tells her wife.

"I will baby and I love you too; so much," she replies, then adds: "See you later,"

"See you later baby," Brittany says hanging up the phone, turning around to see her coworkers all looking in her direction, waiting for news or anything; call them nosey or just concerned. "My wife is coming home," was all she had to say before everyone smiled and some got up to hug her, basically to show how happy they were for her. She couldn't wait for the moment Santana got home; she's not sure what she will do, but she knew one thing was for sure she wouldn't be able to focus on work after this.

* * *

><p><em>So I didn't want to keep you all waiting for her return, just because I heard the fans get antsy if you take too long to get them together and I'd hate to do that to you guys. The next chapter will be longer than the last three (A LOT longer) just because I have a lot I would like to place in there; I hope you guys don't Anyway thank you for those who did review and thank you for those who continue to alert and favor this story and simply just read it. Please review on this chapter and let me know what you think because honestly, you guys are what keeps me writing and updating a lot faster. I have not written this much in years and it's because of you guys that I am, so I appreciate this<em>. _In the meantime, let me know what you think and I'll try to get you guys chapter four up as soon as I find it according to my _


	4. Chapter 4

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

_A/N All I'm going to tell you guys is expect a little bit of smut at the end, other that enjoy this next chapter._**  
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**Chapter 4**

_Lima, Ohio_

Brittany was frantically running around the house getting everything situated. Her parents insisted on throwing Santana a "Welcome Home" party and though Brittany thought it was a fantastic idea, she knew she had to clean the house. She just couldn't believe that her wife was going to be home in a matter of hours. She couldn't wait to wrap her arms around her and kiss her; nobody could ruin this day for her.

As she was vacuuming, there was a knock at the door, causing her to turn it off and walk to the door and answer it to be met by Kurt and Blaine.

Kurt held up flowers with his famous smile plastered on his pale face. "I bought you tulips," he says, causing her to laugh and hug him.

"Hey and thank you very much; they'll go beautifully in the kitchen," she replies, inviting them into the house.

"So has it sunk in yet?" Blaine asked her as she took their coats and placed them in the closet by the door.

She crossed her arms and sighed happily, then smiled. "Not yet. I think when she officially comes through the terminal, it will_," _she tells him, making him smile and nod.

"I couldn't imagine what you've been going through these past few years, but what I didn't understand was why couldn't she even visit within that time frame?" He asked her curiously as she placed the flowers in a vase full of water while Kurt was scaling the house, nodding his head in approval.

"I honestly don't really know. I asked Santana and she said the field was getting pretty bad and a lot of soldiers were getting killed and injured, so she assumed she had to stay, at least until she had the approval she could leave," Brittany explained to the dark haired man as Kurt walked back to them.

"I love the way this place is decorated, so modern," he replies with a smile and an approving nod, making Brittany smile and laugh slightly.

"Well thank you, San and I worked hard on it before she got shipped out. I was pregnant too, so we kind of needed to get it done before Maya was born," she told him as she leaned on the counter and sighed.

"By the way, thank you guys for coming all the way here. You really didn't have to, I mean I know it's been awhile since we've all seen each other," Brittany states to them as they wave it off.

"Brittany, as much as I would use to hate to admit this, Santana is family as are you and though we haven't kept in touch, when Rachel told us everything and about how she was coming home, we could not miss this," Kurt explained coming around the corner, giving her a hug.

"Plus we love a good party," Blaine added jokingly; sort of, causing them both to laugh as there was a knock on the door again, causing Brittany to walk over to it again. She opened the door to see Quinn and Rachel, causing the long haired blonde to hug them both happily.

"Is she here yet?" Rachel asked dramatically.

"Yes she is," Kurt sings jokingly, striking a little pose, making them all laugh. Even though during Prom he hated the fact that he got voted Prom Queen, he knew how to have fun with it when people called him a "diva" or other female pronouns; everyone who did were friends anyway. If a stranger did, he'd care.

"Yes I was talking about you," Rachel laughed, hugging him and Blaine. "But in all serious now," she states, turning to Brittany.

"No she isn't. I'm going to get her in an like thirty minutes, since the drive is about two hours to Columbus, then we should be back," Brittany explains the plan, causing the four to nod.

"Okay and what about Maya?" Quinn asked her, causing Kurt's mouth to drop.

"Oh my," he gasped "I get to meet the little Lopez?" He asks excitedly, causing them to nod, making him really happy.

"Hey you didn't even meet the little Fabray/Berry addition," Rachel states, making Kurt's eyes widen.

"Who is the addition most like?" Kurt asks curiously.

"Quinn," Rachel states nonchalantly.

"Pre or post high school?" He counters back, eyeing her.

"Pre," Rachel replies quietly, finally understanding what he was getting at.

"I rest my case. It has nothing to do with your little one, but Quinn," he explains, finally looking at the short haired blonde. "I love you dearly now, but when you were in high school, dear you were nasty," he explains, placing his hand on his chest as he spoke passionately.

Quinn sighed and nodded. "I know this and I know you mean nothing by it, but trust me, I've changed," she tells them, which she truly has because a comment like Kurt just made, back then she probably would've killed him for.

"I bet Maya could give Grace a run for her money. She's like a mini Santana during high school, depending on her anger," Brittany comments, resting her chin on her hand, making Quinn turn her head and smirk and laugh then nod her head.

"You're on Lopez family," she fires back jokingly, making everyone giggle.

Kurt's eyes widen. "I do not think I could handle that much future Cheerio thunder," he states, making them laugh a little bit, but they knew he wasn't that terrified. They were three years old, what could they possibly do to him? Then again, they are the offspring's of Quinn and Santana, so anything is possible.

Brittany finally checks the time and sits up and looks at her four old friends.

"Okay, so you guys are gonna set it up while I'm gone?" She asks them and they all nod as Brittany shows them all of the stuff outside her parents paid for, causing them to quickly get to work. "By the way guys, Maya shouldn't be coming early or anything, so you are free to put up that sign my parents got made," she informs them as they break open all the decorations.

"We got it covered Brittany. We will have everything set up according to your liking in approximately ninety minutes," Rachel tells her, turning her around to guide her back into the house. "Which is an hour and a half by the way," she adds, causing the blonde to nod; sometimes she still got confused.

"Okay," she says quietly then turns back to Rachel, who is crossing her arms smiling warmly at her. "How do I look?" She asks unsure. She was clad is a pair of jeans and a white V neck top, wearing her hair up in a messy ponytail; it was simple, but she was just cleaning earlier and she didn't really have time to change.

Rachel shook her head. "You look just fine, but honestly, I do not think she will care what you're wearing because frankly you could be naked and she still wouldn't care," she stated, then suddenly widened her eyes when she realized what she said, causing Brittany to widen her eyes as well, but more suggestively.

"Oh? I should change then," the blonde comments, getting ready to walk down the hall, but was stopped by the small brunette., making her laugh. "Just kidding, she actually would _love _that, but I'm gonna get going now. Wish me luck," she tells her, causing Rachel to just hug her warmly.

"You don't need it," she tells her softly, pulling away making the blonde smile and walk to the area where her keys were, grab them then walk out of the house, to go bring her wife home.

Brittany drove the two hours and finally got to Columbus. She was pretty sure she sped, but it was on the highway and she really didn't care; good news was she didn't hit anyone. Brittany could feel the nerves kicking in as she got closer to the airport. She was super excited, but super nervous.

_I haven't seen her in three years, what if I forgot how to kiss her?_ Brittany thought scared. She was pretty sure she didn't forget because it was like riding a bicycle; you never forget, even though it look her a long time to learn that.

She pulled into the airport and felt the butterflies flying in her stomach as she parked in the garage. She sat there for a few moments, taking deep breaths to get herself to calm down enough. She closed her eyes and breathed in deep one last time, then let it out before pulling the keys out and got out of the car.

She locked the door and began walking towards the terminal, then through the sliding doors, lifting her sunglasses off on the top of her head. She looked for the area she'd come through which wasn't hard to find since there were a few people there with "Welcome home" signs and mini American flags standing around an area.

Brittany stood there anxiously awaiting for them to arrive. She still continued to take deep breaths as she began to bounce up and down; she just couldn't seem to calm down. Suddenly she saw camouflage coming towards the area, a few men and women; but not her woman just yet. Brittany searched the crowd, while she fiddled with her keys and watched the service people as they hugged her families, then suddenly she saw a caramel skinned woman with black hair slicked back in a tight ponytail, with a duffle bag in tow.

The woman walked out further and Brittany just broke down in tears, walking through the crowd of people quickly towards the woman, who finally noticed her and began smiling, before dropping her bag down on the floor as Brittany jumped into her arms, wrapping her legs tightly around her waist, kissing her passionately.

Santana held Brittany close to her, kissing her back just as passionately, letting her own fresh tears fall, letting Brittany wrap her arms around her neck. She didn't want this moment to end; she didn't want to let go of the love of her life. She was still pretty sore, but she really didn't care. She had Brittany in her arms; she didn't care about anything else at this point.

They managed to pull away, but Santana didn't put her down. They smiled at each other for a little bit, as Brittany just took in her wife's presences.

"Hey beautiful," Santana breaks the silence, making Brittany laugh as she got lowered to the ground by her wife, but showed no signs of letting her out of her arms.

"Hi sexy, with your little battle scar," she replies back to her, running her fingers gently on Santana's forehead.

"You should see the others. Got a couple bruises on my tummy," she states slightly pouting, jokingly.

"Aw, I'll make them better for you when we get home," Brittany replies suggestively, making Santana laugh and agree, picking her duffle up off the floor, wrapping her arm around Brittany's waist, walking out of the terminal.

On the way home, they held hands the whole drive and at all the red lights before hitting the highway, they'd steal kisses from one another. They just couldn't be happier that the other was there. It was like a dream that neither one of them wanted to wake up from.

As they turned the corner on their neighborhood, Santana couldn't help but let a smile form across her lips. She's thought about driving down this road to hers and Brittany's home that they've "built" for along time since she was gone and now it was finally happening. They pull it to the driveway and Santana looks over at Brittany as she turns off the engine, then looks over in her wife's direction, smiling at her warmly. Santana cupped Brittany's chin before pulling it towards her as she leaned over and kissed her deeply, yet softly, letting her lips massage over her wife's slowly, then pulls away.

"You ready to go inside?" Brittany asks, making Santana nod, turning around to grab her duffle out of the backseat before stepping out of the car, then walk to the front door. Brittany unlocks the door and as soon as she does, they hear:

"WELCOME HOME!" Santana would be lying if she said she didn't get the shit scared out of her. Yes she's gone in front of bullets and terrorists, but that just terrified her, but when she noticed all who was there her fear turned into smiling; everyone from Glee Club that kept in touch with one another were there, including Artie, which shocked Brittany since Quinn and Rachel said no one has spoken to him since graduation; she was the only one out of the couple who noticed.

"Wow, I should be saying the same thing to some of you," Santana finally replies jokingly, hugging everyone and thanking them for even showing up. "As much as I love you guys, I really want to change so I'll be right back," she adds before they all push back into the backyard, except for Brittany who follows Santana to their room.

Santana pulls off her boots and the top of her uniform to show the green shirt that was given to them, then turns around to see Brittany leaning against the doorframe.

"Why aren't you out there enjoying our friends' company?" Santana asks her, making her smile slightly.

"I'm afraid if I walk away from you you'll be gone," Brittany replies honestly, making Santana stop what she's doing, then look over at her wife causing her to walk over to her and pull her in for a kiss, which got deeper than intended because Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, pulling them back to the bed, making Santana fall on top of her.

It got much more heated as time went on as Brittany pulled Santana's shirt out of her uniform pants, trying to pull the shirt off, which Santana allows, making Brittany later discard it. Brittany began feeling up and down her wife's body, lowering her kisses down when she noticed all the bruises that clad her abdomen, causing her to look up at Santana, who was looking down at her. She then placed light kisses all around her toned stomach on the bruises, trailing back up to place a light peck on her lips.

"We'll finish later if you'd like, but right now we have guests to attend to," Brittany whispers into her lips, causing Santana to nod in agreement, making them pull away giving the woman a chance to change into street clothes. After she was ready, they began walking down the hall, but Santana grabbed Brittany's hand then pulled her back to her for a moment.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise you," she whispers to her wife, kissing her gently, which gave Brittany the reassurance that Santana will always be there; she needed her in her life; probably more than she realized, but what the blonde didn't know was that the feeling was mutual.

As they began walking towards the backyard, the front door opened causing them to turn around to see Brittany's parents walk in with Maya, making Santana's eyes tear up. She was so absorbed in looking over in their direction, that she didn't even notice Brittany step over to the backyard door and tell some people that Santana was about to be reunited with their daughter, which everyone decided they wanted to see.

Maya was going on about something that happened that day at school to Van. "I say no 'cause he don't know, but I a Lopez," she ends her story proudly, making Santana laugh slightly, and everyone else laugh as well, causing Maya to finally realize there were people at the house, which confused her.

She then noticed Santana and her mouth dropped as the older brunette was tearing up heavily. "Mommy?" She said unsure because she's only seen her on the computer and heard her voice. She hasn't seen her physically in person since she was five months; doubt she'd remember that.

All Santana can do was nod, before Maya ran up to her and hugged her tightly, before Santana picked her up pulling her into her arms. "I missed you Mommy. How you get out of the computer?" Maya asked causing everyone to laugh, while the tears continued to flow.

"I knew you missed me and since I missed you I was able to get out, but I can't tell you how because it's a secret," Santana explained to the little girl, adding a 'shh' to her explanation, while placing her pointer finger to her lips.

"Okay Mommy. You not going nowhere again are you?" Maya asked her Mommy, while holding her dog tags.

"I hope not because I hated being away from you and your Momma. I missed you two so much and I hope to never have to go anywhere else again," she tells her, making the little girl hug her tightly again.

"Oh my this is beautiful," Kurt whispers to everyone, holding a tissue to his eyes, dabbing at the tears, while everyone crowded around watching on. Brittany was probably the one in the most tears just because she knew how long it's been since they've seen each other and for Santana it was like she was holding a totally different person, but for Maya she was just meeting the person from the computer screen for the first time. She knew she was her mommy, she just doesn't remember her ever being around.

"All right people show is over, let's all go out and have a party," Santana states to everyone after composing herself, making them laugh as Maya laughs in her arms. "What you thought that was funny too?" She adds, tickling the little girl, making her laugh even louder.

"Oh yes, definitely a Lopez," Quinn states, while a young girl hides behind her. She's a little blonde girl, with brown eyes, she was a little mini Quinn look a like; it was a tad terrifying. Santana turned around and smirked at her friend, placing Maya down who noticed Grace, then walked over to her slowly.

"Hey watch it Fabray," Santana warns her, pointing at her making her laugh slightly, as she made her way out to the backyard.

Maya walked over to Grace and looked at her for a moment as Grace looked back awkwardly. "I am Maya," she finally says smiling, as Grace places her hands on her little hips.

"I know who you are," Grace states back causing Maya to be taken aback, so she just rolled her eyes and walked around her, before Grace sighed, turning around. "I am Grace," she finally adds, now talking to Maya's back.

Maya turns around and narrows her eyes. "I know who you are," she mocks her, causing her to turn back to the door and walk out to the backyard.

Santana was sitting down in one the chairs as music played in the background, while she held a beer in her hand. She was having a really great time with everyone there. All the men were by the grill, fighting over how to cook the burgers and hotdogs right, causing Santana to look over in their direction and laugh. She placed her beer on the table, pulling Brittany off her lap, making Brittany pout for a second.

"Where you going?" She asked sounding somewhat sad, making Santana smile softly.

"I'm gonna go teach those boys how to grill," she replied, pecking her lips, before walking over to the grill and as she did Artie came wheeling over towards Brittany, almost scaring her because he was so quiet.

"Can we talk for a minute?" He asked her, causing her to glance back over by the grill to see Santana flipping the burgers, while Puck, Finn, Sam, and Blaine were arguing about how she was doing it, then turned back and nodded, before getting up and walking over towards the pool area.

He sighed for a moment. "You seem happy," he started, causing her to nod and smile warmly.

"I really am," she replies back softly, causing him to nod.

"I know and I'd never want to get in the way of your happiness, so basically I want to apologize. What happened in high school was high school. Back then I thought, nobody would love me like you did ever again and that's typical high school thinking, but you told me 'anybody would be lucky to have you and that girl is out there for you, but I am not her'," he explained and she nodded, remembering the conversation well, pulling her leg up to her chin. "Well you were right. I mean it took me awhile and certainly what happened between us shouldn't have prevented me from speaking to the rest of the Glee Club, but it did and for that I'm sorry to all of them, but I just want to tell you, I am so deeply happy that you are happy because now I can tell; not that I doubted it because let's face it Santana and you were always happy when together, but I hope we're okay now because I'd really like to be your friend at least," he finally finished, making Brittany smile warmly at him causing him to smile back.

"Of course, I just never knew what to say to you because we ended badly. I knew I hurt you, but it was something I needed and had to do for me, but no we're definitely okay, I'm glad we got to talk about everything," she replied back to him causing him to nod, then she changed the subject. "So friend to friend, two things how's your love life now and how did you get in touch with everyone again?" She asked him curiously, causing him to laugh a little and shift in his wheelchair.

"My love life is really good actually. I have a girlfriend, we've been together for almost a year and she has a son from a previous relationship, but she's amazing and I hope to marry her soon. Right now she's visiting her parents and plus we felt it'd be a little awkward when you don't know her and didn't know I was even coming. As for getting in touch, I ran into Puck at the grocery store, well more like he ran his cart into me," he explained making Brittany laugh at the last part. She always loved that he somewhat had a sense of humor regardless of the circumstances.

"Anyway, he was talking about how Santana was coming home from Iraq and they were going to be having this big party, but there wasn't a lot of warning and he invited me, so I agreed," he finished and she nodded, then looked back over at the table to see Santana sitting back down with her beer in hand, laughing at something Quinn said, making Brittany smile warmly.

"Well I'm glad you're happy as well Artie and I'm so glad you could come. It means a lot to me," she replied finally turning back around to look at him and he smiled and nodded. She was glad she was able to work things out with the guy. He meant a lot to her in high school regardless of everything, she did still want him in her life, just not in her romantic life. So with that, she got up and they went back over to the table and not too soon after Santana noticed.

"Hey Artie, trying to steal my woman?" She asked jokingly, making him laugh. He knew in the past we would've been really jealous and angry if she said that, but now, he was just happy to see them both extremely happy to just be with each other. He knew it's what Brittany wanted and he accepted that a long time ago and he could honestly say he was over her.

"Yeah I thought maybe I could try y'know," he replied back just as jokingly, as Brittany sat back on her lap. "But I just wanted to tell you, all joking aside, I'm glad you're making Brittany happy," he adds, making everyone at the table smile.

"I promise you I'll do everything in my power to continue to do that. If I don't you can murder me," she replies in complete seriousness, but he laughed anyway.

"I don't think I'll have to, but I'll remember that," he replied, making her laugh as she took a swig of her beer.

Brittany liked that they were getting along. He wasn't fond of Santana period and to see them actually getting along made her ecstatic. She finally turned to her wife causing to look up.

"Give up on the grilling?" Brittany asked, making Santana laugh and look over at the grill to see Blaine being the only one at the grill.

"The boys were being dickheads," she simply commented just as Puck was walking by.

"Hey now, you're one of us too y'know. After you've been to Iraq fighting with men, you're included," he states, patting her shoulder, making her smirk.

"You're only saying that because you didn't have the balls to do it yourself," she replies back, taking another swig of her beer, making everyone laugh.

"Hey, hey I could do it," he defends as Lauren walks up to them, grabbing his shoulders on both sides.

"Yeah…no I don't think so. You'd be crying like a little baby," she replied back, kissing his cheek, making everyone go "oh".

"What is this? Pick on Puckerman time?" He asks, making everyone laugh again. Quinn and Rachel were both confide in one chair, which they didn't mind at all, but Finn couldn't help but look at them weirdly. He just thought it was weird that both of his ex girlfriends ended up together; it was like as if he made them go for each other.

_I turn girls gay. No, no I do, I mean I was dating Quinn, then we broke up. I dated Rachel, then we broke up and now they're together and…and Santana…Santana was my first time and even SHE'S gay. It's official; I turn girls gay, _Finn thought as we was watching the two couples very intently before Sam and Mike walked up to him.

"What are you looking at dude?" Mike asked, causing him to snap back to reality.

"Oh um I was just thinking," Finn states, looking back at the table again, causing Sam to look over in the same direction.

"That's never good," Sam replies, taking a sip of his beer, as Mike agreed.

"No, I mean I was thinking. Do I turn girls gay?" He asked them, making them laugh. "No guys, I'm serious. Really, think about it. I dated both Rachel and Quinn and now they're together. I had sex with Santana and look who she's with. I'm just saying, not much of a track record," he adds to the statement he just made.

Sam and Mike look at each other and smirk. "If you do man, it sucks to be you," Sam replies, patting his shoulder, before walking away as Mike follows in tow.

Maya is sitting in her sandbox, building random things in it as the group of adults, goofed off, when she noticed someone sit down next to her; she looked up and saw Grace, getting ready to help her and surprisingly Maya didn't stop her.

"I sorry I was mean," Grace apologized, causing Maya to look up and smile.

"It's okay. I can be mean a lot too," she replies, making the other little girl giggle. "People tell me it is 'cause my Mommy was like that," she adds, making Grace's mouth drop and a gasp escape it.

"Me too," Maya looks over at her with her eyes wide. She couldn't believe she had something in common with the other girl. Being three, anything can really impress you and so far Grace was impressing Maya. They began playing with the sand giggling and working together to build a sand castle; this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

The party continued on for hours; everyone ate, goofed off, even sang a few of their old Glee Club songs, while Maya and Grace continued to play. They all promised to remain close again, even if they broke their promise in high school, this time they were serious. Being with each other again as a group, made them realize how truly strong their friendships and bonds truly were back then and even more so now.

That night, Brittany and Santana laid in their bed, cuddling close to one another. They just couldn't be happier to be in one another's arms again. Three years was far too long for anyone to be away from the ones they love, but they were enjoying the time they've been having so far.

Brittany looked up into Santana's eyes and just smiled as the other woman happily returned it before leaning in to kiss her softly. Not breaking the kiss, she slid on top of the blonde, as Brittany ran her nails up an down her back slowly. She began sucking on the girl's bottom lip gently, slowly moving her lower body into her wife, causing Brittany to let out a slight moan, making Santana pull away and look at Brittany for a moment, before lowering her lips down to the girl's pale neck, gently sucking and nipping at the flesh.

"Mmm," Brittany couldn't help, but let out, before pulling Santana's shirt over her head, soon feeling Santana's hands making their way down, her sides, down to the waistband of her shorts, "Baby do it," she breaths out, before Santana slides her shorts off, making the blonde kick them off her legs.

She begins to feel Santana slowly rubbing circles on her clit, making an even louder moan escape her lips, causing Santana to kiss her again, but more passionately, then working her fingers into her wife, while continuing to rub circles with her thumb. She slowly began thrusting her fingers in and out of woman, making her moan each time.

"God that feels so good. Faster please San," she practically begs, while moving her hips with the thrust. After hearing the plea, Santana began thrusting faster into Brittany, sliding her other hand up to pull her wife's bra off, which was easy, making Santana kiss down and all over Brittany's chest, before flicking her tongue at one of her nipple's, making the blonde, let out a deep moan.

"Fuck San, I'm so close," she says, making her hips move faster as Santana takes the breast into her mouth sucking hard, while continuing to run her tongue over the nipple, making Brittany really be set over the edge.

As she continued this for a few more minutes, Brittany's moans got louder and louder, before Brittany let out her loudest moan, then yelling "Uhh San I'm cumming, fuck!" setting her over the edge. Santana felt her wife closing in against her as her juices begin encircling her fingers, causing her to slow down to let her ride it out. Brittany would be lying if she wasn't exhausted. She was breathing heavy, sweating, and her vision was blurred as she began opening her eyes. Finally able to get her vision back to the way it was suppose to, she saw Santana breathing just as heavy and sweating just as much, staring back at her, with that look in her eyes; that look of passion; of love. She loved her; Brittany clearly knew that.

Santana slid off Brittany with a slight thump, bringing her fingers up to her lips and licking them, making Brittany look at her tiredly. "Still tastes as good as I remember," she comments, making her wife laugh, then lay her head on Santana's chest. Brittany desperately wanted to return the favor, but she was too exhausted to and she was pretty sure Santana noticed, but she wasn't the least bit dissatisfied by this because she got just as much gratification pleasing her wife than getting pleased.

Brittany began closing her eyes as Santana strokes her blonde locks, then she suddenly hears the calming sounds of her wife's voice, causing her to fall soundly asleep. "_And I love you, I love you, I love you…like never before._"

* * *

><p><em>Okay, so how am I doing so far? Thank you everyone who have reviewed; I truly appreciate them and I read them all. I'm pretty sure I know where I want this story to go, but if you guys have any suggestion about what you want to see, let me know, whether it's Twitter, review, message, Tumblr; just let me know. I like to make my writers happy and some of them can vouch for me on that; both my Tumblr and Twitter links are in my homepage and I believe that's it. Let me know what you think and thank you guys so much again.<em>


	5. Chapter 5

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 5**

_Santana was walking through complete darkness; nothing could be seen in front of her. She kept looking in all directions and she was terrified, but she didn't care; she knew this is what she had to do. She scaled as much of the area as she could; the stars looked absolutely beautiful tonight, which was her only form of light._

_She began stepping along the rock forms placed out the sand; it was freezing, but she never once faltered. As soon as she made her next step, she got slammed in the face, knocking her to the ground. Everything around her was spinning as she tried to regain sight. As soon as she did, she saw three men and all she could do was stare up at them wide eyed._

_They began speaking a different language to one another as she continued to lay there, bleeding from her forehead. They looked back down at her and picked her up and suddenly everything changed. She was placed in a dark room, completely bare from head to toe. Santana kept looking around as she was tied up; again nothing but darkness, when the door finally opened and closed as the same three men appeared._

_They just eyed her up and down, then started smiling before one of them advanced towards her, picking her up as she tried to fight him off, pushing her against the wall front first…_

Brittany's eyes shot opened and tears formed in her eyes. She looked around the bedroom and saw Santana gone. _Maybe it wasn't a dream,_ she thought, quickly getting up and running out of the bedroom, looking for her wife. She scaled the rooms in the hall, then suddenly saw the dark haired woman at the stove. Brittany walked up and turned Santana around, making her jump.

"Oh my God, Britt. You scared the shit out of me and I almost whacked you with the pan, which is hot by the way," Santana states to her, laughing slightly, before turning back to the stove. For a moment, Santana started cooking again, then realized something and turned back around. "Britt, what's wrong?" She asked her concerned, placing the pan on the unused stove top.

Brittany didn't want to concern her, but it seemed her face was a give in that something was wrong, so she just shook her head and, placed her arms around Santana's waist. "Just hold me for a little bit, okay?" She whispered, as Santana gently stroked her hair, then placed a light kiss on her head, but didn't object.

They stood there for a minute, when they felt eyes on them, causing Santana to open her eyes and took towards the end of the hall to see Maya, looking at them confused. "Hey baby, I'm making breakfast, you want some?" She asks the young girl, causing Brittany to open her eyes, but keep holding on to Santana.

"Yes pwease," she replies with a little huff and stalks over to the table and sits at it, waiting patiently. Santana laughed slightly then looked down at Brittany, in her arms and placed a light kiss on her nose.

"You sure you're alright? You know you can talk to me," she tells her, making Brittany sigh and nod.

"Yeah I know, but I'm fine. Just a bad dream, that's all," she said, waving it off, letting go of her to let her continue to cook, but Santana didn't go back to it right away.

"It must've been more than that, if it scared you that much babe," she pries, making Brittany give her a small smile, then gently kiss her lips.

"Don't worry about it, okay? Just continue cooking because Maya looks like she's getting impatient," she tells her, causing Santana to sigh heavily. She really didn't want to let this go, but she didn't exactly have a choice.

"Fine, but you need to find shorts or something because you've been out here with your lady parts out and it's one, distracting and two it's making me want to place lady kisses all over it," she tells her, whispering the last reason to her, before pecking her lips again, making Brittany laugh for the first time that morning, but she sauntered away back into the room to look more presentable; she just hoped that Maya paid no mind to the fact that she was wearing no bottoms.

Santana watched Brittany walk down the hall, then turned back to cooking for her family. She was happy to be back home and wanted to spend as much time with them as possible, of course, she knew that it could only be today, weekends and holidays, that she could spend with just the three of them because Brittany still had to work.

"Mommy?" She hears breaking her from her thoughts, then glances over at the table where Maya was happily, yet starting to become impatiently waiting for her breakfast.

"I know you're hungry baby. I'm almost done, just placing it on the plates," she tells her, after getting the pancakes on the plate and finally walking over to the table with three plates in hand. She walked back quickly to get sliver ware, the syrup, orange juice, and glasses. She desperately was trying to bring it all with her in one shot; so much that she placed the three fork ends in her mouth and placed the syrup in the waistband of her pants; which she shrieked at because it was rather cold against her skin.

She started walking back as Brittany came back clad in a shirt and shorts, then glanced up at her wife, giving her a weird look, causing Santana to stop what she was doing and look at her; this was a weird moment; a moment they both missed because things like that happened so often in her house.

"Mommy?" Maya repeats, causing Santana to shift to show Maya has her attention. "Syrup pwease," she comments, causing Santana to slowly make her way over to the table as the cold syrup bottled still pressed against her skin; she clearly had no sign of making it there quick, so Brittany just walked over to her and pulled the syrup out of her pants and the forks out of her mouth, as they both laughed.

"Thanks babe," Santana states finally, making Brittany nod in response as they sit down at the table.

"This looks great Santana," Brittany says to her wife, making her smile as Maya drowns her pancakes in syrup.

"Whoa, save some for us little chica," Santana retaliates as Maya hands over the syrup with a pout. "I love you," she adds with a little smile and Maya couldn't help, but return it only to make the older brunette giggle.

"Mommy?" Maya repeats for the third time.

"Hand me your plate and I'll cut it up for you," she replies, knowing that's what she wants, but Maya doesn't hand it to her, but to Brittany, confusing her. "I thought you wanted Mommy to cut it?" she asks kind of hurt.

"I was not asking you to do that," Maya replied enunciating her words, so they could both understand it, but Santana continued to look at her, waiting for her to finish. "I was going to ask, why Momma was nakey when I came out of my room," she said, causing Brittany to choke on her orange juice that she previously had sipped.

Santana blinked for a little bit, not sure what to say, as Brittany handed the cut up pancakes back to her daughter, who started stuffing them into her mouth. "Well honey, she forgot her shorts in the bathroom when she went potty," she finally said, looking at the blonde nodding, to signal if that was a good answer or not, which Brittany returned.

"But why? And…and I heard noises last night, so I…I went to sleep wif you and I kept hearing sounds and then I heard Momma go _Ooooh San_," she explained to them, causing Brittany to choke on her pancakes this time as Santana's eyes widened, then turned to Brittany, who was still trying to compose herself.

"Babe, why don't you drink your juice," Santana tells her as Brittany drinks out of the cup happily that she does not have to answer the question. "Maya I dunno what you saw or heard but…" she was about to go on, but got cut off by the 3 year old.

"I saw you on top of Momma and Momma yelling _oh God San…mmm_ and other stuff," she tells them, causing Santana to bite her bottom lip to hold back her laughter, then she glanced at her wife who was flushing a deep red. She couldn't believe their daughter caught them last night, but actually heard her saying things. Santana technically was in the clear seeing as she never returned the favor, but still she was mortified.

She finally looked over at Santana, who was eating her pancakes, still trying to keep in her laughter, then suddenly Brittany smacked her arm, causing her to turn her head. "What was that for?" She asked, laughing slightly, rubbing her arm a little.

"You've been home not even a day and you got me in trouble," she replies, stuffing her food in her mouth, while pouting.

"Aw, technically you got yourself in trouble. Use your inside voices next time," Santana fired back, adding a wink to her comments, causing her wife to shake her head and sigh.

"Do you know how hard that is?" She mumbled to her, looking down at the rest of the food on her plate, causing Santana to laugh hysterically.

"Yeah I do," she simply says, kissing her cheek "But it was so worth hearing you scream my name," she whispered into her hear, making the blonde smile, back at her.

"Mommy look," Maya gets her attention to see that Maya ate all her food and she was showing it off.

"Wow, where did it all go?" the older woman asked, causing her daughter to lift up her shirt to show her tummy. "Oh my goodness, are you sure it's all in there?" She asked her, making the little girl giggle and nod. "Wow, well I'm proud of you, so proud that I would like to take my family out for the day. Where would you like to go?" She says, making Maya think; a little too hard they thought.

"I know! I know!" the little girl begins to yell, until they acknowledge her, then she finally says "Chuck E Cheese!" in a enthusiastic voice, making them both smile and look at each other.

"I could totally roll with that," Santana finally says, before sticking her last forkful of pancakes in her mouth.

"Yeah, I can go play in the tubes and ball pit. I haven't done that in awhile," Brittany replies.

"Yeah there's a reason for that Britt," the brunette states to her wife, causing her to look up at her. "Babe you're an adult. I don't think I could even fit into those tubes anymore; the ball pit definitely," she adds, taking the dirty plates from the table to wash them. "Go get ready Maya, we'll leave as soon as we're all ready," she calls from in the kitchen, causing the little girl to slide off her chair and run into her room.

Brittany got up from her seat too and grabbed the glasses, and syrup, tossing the glasses in the sink and placing the syrup back, then stands behind Santana and wraps her arms around her waist from her back, kissing her shoulder. She couldn't see it, but Santana was smiling while she did this. She finally turned around and looked at her wife, then gently kissed her lips, which was meant to be quick, but turned more passionate, causing Brittany to pull Santana up on the counter.

Brittany began sliding down her kisses down her wife's clad body, going down to her shorts, sliding her shorts off her legs, tossing them on the floor, before dropping to her knees and placing kisses on Santana's sweet spot, causing her to groan slightly "Babe hurry," she breaths out, before Brittany darts her tongue inside Santana's wetness, causing the brunette to slam her hand on the counter and bite her bottom lip. Brittany held her thighs as she slowly began bucking her hips to Brittany's thrusts, causing Santana to begin to breathe heavily and moan slightly loud. She felt like she was coming closer and closer to her peak that she began rocking her hips harder.

"Okay I'm ready!" Santana's eyes shot open and she pushed Brittany with her foot to on the wooden floor.

"Ow San," Brittany states, rubbing her butt while her wife looked at her with her mouth wide. Santana hoped off the counter and pulled Brittany off the floor.

"I am so sorry babe," she apologizes, rubbing her butt slightly. She really was sorry, she just didn't want their daughter to catch them twice and this time it'd be her she'd catch, not Brittany; the joke would be on her and why would she want that?

"It's fine," she pouts as they turn around and see Maya looking at them curiously.

"Mommy why were you on the counter?" She asks, causing Brittany to look at her smiling.

"Yeah, why were you on the counter?" She repeats as the older brunette shook her head. Brittany set her up. She knew she couldn't resist her, so she set it up to where she got questioned and that she could get embarrassed, but you know what? She's Santana "Mothafuckin'" Lopez, she never gets embarrassed.

"I was putting something away and I couldn't reach it," she replied to the little girl, who shifted on her leg.

"But why were you making noises and Momma on her knees in front of you and your eyes were shut?" She retaliated back, causing Brittany to turn her head back to Santana, awaiting her answer.

"I had a hole in my shorts and I was having Momma check it," she randomly said; it wasn't even a good answer, but she didn't care; she just desperately wanted this conversation to end.

"But your shorts are right there," she says, pointing to the floor, making Brittany laugh, causing Santana's eyes to shut. Okay, it's official; she was absolutely mortified.

They finally made it to Chuck E Cheese without further questions from the young child. They knew they should be more careful, but at the same time, they couldn't help that they weren't. It's been awhile and if it were up to them they'd be having sex every hour of every day for the next two days or so, possibly longer, but they knew they couldn't. They have their daughter to take care of and Brittany has her job to go to so with that said, they try their best to squeeze in their intimate times, even though they seem to be ruined or under surveillance.

They walked in the child infested place. As Santana paid, she noticed Maya's eyes light up and even Brittany's did too, making her laugh a little. She loved how her wife still managed to act like a kid; she enjoyed her youthful personality, but she was also glad she knew when to turn it off.

"Mommy! Momma! Where should we go first?" Maya asked yelling and jumping up and down, holding her parents' hands; she was really excited, almost too excited; Santana blamed all the syrup she used for her pancakes.

"Wherever you want it's your day," Santana replies to her, as she lets go of their hands and begins to run for the tubes, making Brittany run to them as well and follow her, while a smirking Santana walks over in their direction.

By the time she got there, Maya was long gone in the tubes, but Brittany however, she was having a hard time getting into the narrow tube, not that she was overweight, but she's much taller and much more broader than a child. Santana just leaned against the tube, watching her wife try to get in, making her laugh.

"Hey babe, how's it goin'?" She asked her, making Brittany poke her head out, breathing slightly heavier than she should be.

"I don't think I can get into these anymore," she finally comments, with a pout, causing the brunette to give her a small smile then gently place a kiss on her temple.

"It's okay, I still love you and there's always the ball pit," she states, making her wife's eyes light up as she runs over to it, taking her shoes off and hopping into the ball pit. Santana can't remember the last time she's laughed and smiled this much; she assumed since the last time she was with Brittany. She missed her joy, her laugh, her childlike tendencies, her fun, and all the other physical things that they still have to continue to squeeze into their busy schedules.

"Mommy!" She hears Maya, then feels a little hand gasp her hand, pulling her over to the ball pit, then suddenly she gets pushed in, then jumped on by Maya, causing the wind to be knocked out of her, but she tries not to looked phased, but it's hard not to when you can't breathe.

"Oh shit San," she hears Brittany softly say. "Honey get off your Mommy," she adds, pulling Santana slightly up so she can place her in her lap. Brittany began rocking her back and forth, waiting for Santana to slowly, but surely catch her breath. "You alright?" She finally asks her as she feels Santana stomach starting to rise up and down.

"Yeah, man that hurt just as bad as the last time," she states, lifting her shirt slightly seeing a red mark over the old bruises. "Pretty sure there will be a new bruise there soon. Another one to add to the collection," she adds, laughing slightly to make it as a joke, then gets back up out of the ball pit.

As she gets out Brittany soon follows, instructing Maya to keep playing and that they'll just watch her, which Maya happily followed as they found a table to sit at. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's waist, laying her head on her shoulder, in return Santana wrapped her arm around Brittany's shoulder.

"I dreamt that you were taken hostage," Brittany states, causing Santana to look down. She knew this was about to be a serious confession from the blonde. "You got hit and these men took you into this dark room and completely stripped you of your uniform and tied you up in there until they decided what they wanted to do. They came back in and looked at you like a piece of meat and one came towards you and picked you up and forced you against the wall, then I just woke up. I feared what would come after that," she explained, as loose tears fell down her cheeks, causing Santana to wipe them away and kiss her wife's forehead gently, then pulling her into her arms completely.

"It was just a dream Britt, okay? None of that happened out there. When I got hit, I never got held hostage," she explained to her, trying to help ease the other woman of her worries.

Brittany nods. "I know, but it doesn't mean I don't worry it would happen," she replies to her, making her wife sigh deeply.

"I know you're worried, but I told you, I'm not going anywhere right now," she tells her. "If I get called back, then so be it, but you and I both know that fighting out there is a big sacrifice and you'll be placed in some crazy situations, but that's part of the job. If you can't handle it, then you have no business doing it, but I can handle it all," Santana explains to Brittany looking her deeply in the eyes as the blonde begins shaking her head.

"But I couldn't handle you getting hurt," she whispers to her, causing the brunette to nod at her.

"We can't worry about things that haven't happened. Let's just remain in the present and we'll worry about that, if it ever happens," Santana makes one last attempt to calm down Brittany. She didn't blame her for being scared and worried, especially after that dream. Santana knew if that even was real she'd be terrified, but she couldn't dwell on something that hasn't happened; they both shouldn't and for that Brittany finally agreed.

As they continued to sit there keeping an eye on Maya's whereabouts, the little girl finally ran back to her parents, breathing heavy. "I hungry," she tells them, causing Santana to kiss Brittany's temple and get up.

"Okay, you wanna go get some pizza with me?" She asks the little girl, who nods frantically, causing her to pick her up. "Oh my goodness, why you all sweaty?" She asks Maya, poking her little belly, making her giggle.

"I was playin' Mommy," she replied, as they walked to the counter to order the pizza.

"Well now you all stinky," she tells her jokingly, plugging her nose. She really didn't smell, but she liked joking with her because she reacted so adorably.

"Hi, what can I get you?" The young woman at the counter asked them, smiling at Santana, which she could easily tell it was a flirty smile, but she disregarded it.

"Yeah can I get a medium cheese pizza and two medium Cokes and what do you want to drink?" She asked Maya in her arms, who had her arms crossed.

"Um…Spite, pwease," she replied, making Santana look over at the girl behind the counter.

"Sprite; small please," she replied to the girl, who was already getting it and had it ready for her by the time she could even tell her what Maya said. "Wow impressive," she simply commented, making the girl laugh slightly.

"Yeah, well when you work here you learn to understand toddler," she simply replied as she rang her up, giving her total. Santana paid for it and the girl just told her she'd bring it out to her when it was ready, causing her to grab one of the drinks as Maya held the other two, since Santana was still holding Maya in one arm.

"We gots drinks Momma," Maya announced to the blonde.

"You did? You carry them by yourself?" She asked her, causing the little girl to nod proudly.

"Hey now, I helped too," Santana adds, making the young child huff and wave it off, making them laugh hysterically.

"Oh that is all you babe," Brittany comments to Santana, making her huff and wave it off, then she realized what she did and her eyes widened, making the blonde laugh even more. "Yeah you can't deny it now," she adds, taking a sip of her soda as the girl came out with the pizza. Brittany noticed the girl give Santana a flirty look, but Santana only cuddled up to her wife even more; assuming she noticed it too.

"All right, you all enjoy," she replies, mainly looking over at the older dark haired woman, then walks off , causing Brittany to look back, then back at Santana.

"Don't ask," she stated already knowing where it was going, shaking her head and grabbing three pieces, placing them on three plates, so they can all eat it.

"I wasn't going to. I know you wouldn't do anything," Brittany replied with a smile, kissing her wife on the cheek, who just smiled back at her, then gently kissed her lips.

"Yucky!" they pulled away seeing Maya looking at them, like they were the grossest people on earth, making them laugh and look back at one an other.

"Yeah yucky," Brittany commented to the brunette, making her laugh.

"Oh really? Says the one who taught my daughter my first name," she told the blonde, reminding her of this mornings conversation.

"Yeah and says the one who doesn't realize there's a hole in their shorts and had to sit on the counter so I can supposedly look at them, when they were really on the floor," Brittany fired back to her, making Santana's expression change.

"You win," Santana mumbled, getting back to her pizza, making her laugh. She could honestly say this day had it's little twists and turns, but overall this day couldn't get any better. She had her family together and that's what mattered. The presence of Santana here; finally was worth the wait. She couldn't wait for more moments like this; nothing and no one was going to stand in the way of their happiness now.

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><p><em>So I'm thinking I need to change the rating since I keep adding smut randomly. Thank you guys so much for the reviews by the way, I appreciate them a lot and I love you all very much. I know I've been getting a few messages stating that I wrote she was gone too long and it is extremely inaccurate and I apologize for that. I definitely should have researched it a lot more, but since the story is already five chapters in and I've mentioned she's been gone for three years already I'm not going to be changing it now. In the meantime, everything else will be as accurate as possible. Thank you again for the reviews and let me know what you all think about this chapter and I'll get the next chapter written for you soon.<em>


	6. Chapter 6

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

_**A/N So this chapter, just warning you now will have a hidden thing that I never mentioned throughout this story before for a few reasons. One, it just came to me and two because either way it wouldn't have been necessary right now. People may find it inaccurate and it probably isn't, but that's why it's called Fanfiction. Anyway you'll see what I mean and I'll put another Author's Note at the bottom when it's complete. Enjoy the next chapter.**_

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 6**

Brittany sat typing away at her desk. It's been nearly five months since Santana came home. She actually expected that her coming home was just going to be a visit, but now she just assumed they were done with her services; she hoped anyway. They were still hopelessly in love, squeezing in their intimate times, without getting caught and even though her and Santana talked about the one dream she had; they're still constant. She wish she knew what this meant. Dreams usually are suppose to tell you something and these dreams are really starting to terrify her core. They're not just being repetitive either; they're being continuous; like a story.

She couldn't really think about this right now because thinking will not get her anywhere, so she was thankful she was at work; at least it can keep her mind off everything.

"Brittany," she hears her name being called and she looks up. "Your wife is here to take you to lunch," they tell her, making her smile, giving them a nod and a thank you, causing her to save everything she was doing and get up.

She walked out of her office to see Santana sitting in a chair by the reception desk, just looking around. She finally looks up and smiles, then gets up and walks over to Brittany kissing her lightly.

"You ready?" Santana asks, making Brittany nod and they walk out to the elevator. They stand there in silence, which was unsettling for Santana. She knew something was going on, but Brittany was just as secretive as she was and she wouldn't tell someone something unless they practically begged or were genuinely worried.

Santana held Brittany's hand as they walked out, walking to Breadstix, which was close by, which was a little busy, but they managed to get seated quickly. They sat down facing each other and Santana began smiling at Brittany, who returned it back, just not as wide.

"You alright?" She asked finally as Brittany looked over the menu. Santana knew she was avoiding the whole situation; whatever it was because they've been coming to this place for years and she usually got the same thing, so it was unnecessary to be looking at the menu.

"Yeah I'm fine, just have a lot on my mind about work and stuff," she simply replied, not looking up.

"You're lying," Santana comments, causing Brittany to look up; blue meeting brown in a heated stare off or at least it felt that way. "I can see it in your eyes, your demeanor, your actions, and you're silent with me. Babe, you've never been silent with me," she tells her. Brittany knew she couldn't hide anything from the dark haired woman; it was an obvious fact since they were kids, but she just didn't want to burden her, but she really didn't have much of a choice now.

"I keep having them," Brittany states quietly, barely audible for Santana to hear.

"Having what Britt?" She asks curiously. She would be lying if she said she wasn't worried about her wife. The fact is, she was scared for her. These past few weeks, they barely communicated about anything other than to or about Maya; it's not like them.

"The nightmares. They're still frequent and now it feels like a giant episode of a twisted Showtime television show," Brittany explains as tears slowly form, causing Santana to lean back in the booth and cross her arms. She exhaled a breath; she was upset. She couldn't believe that Brittany was burdening herself with these images and thoughts for almost six months now and never bothered to tell her.

"You should've told me this," she finally told her blonde wife, causing her to just shake her head.

"And say what Santana? I dream about you getting captured in Iraq and raped by three men for six months. Fuck I don't even know what happened there because you refuse to talk about it," she tells her; she was fuming herself. She hated these nightmares; these terrifying thoughts. She couldn't help being worried; she was gone for awhile.

Santana takes a deep breath and lets it out, then bites her bottom lip. "You have every right to be angry at me and I think part of these nightmares are my fault. I mean we didn't _officially _have contact until a year in and that's totally my fault; not the military or anything; mine. Britt there's something you should know," Santana starts to explain, confusing Brittany for a moment.

Santana took a deep breath and let it out. "Do you remember the time frame I was missing in action?" Santana asked, looking at Brittany, who just looked down and nodded sadly. "There's something you should know," she repeats.

_Santana was huddled in the corner of the dark room; shaking from the cold and from the actions that just took place. She couldn't believe this was happening. She's heard stories about women getting captured and never making it out of it. She remembers telling Alex before she went on this mission; before she got captured that incase something happened, don't report her missing. Santana knew it was crazy, but she knew that she could make it out of this and it sounds stupid too because who would believe she wasn't missing for a year and her unit didn't even see her, but she knew Alex thought that sounded like a dumb request, so she would just said 'don't ever report me dead at least until you know for sure', which Alex agreed. _

_She didn't want Brittany to think something happened to her that wasn't true. The mission was simply suicide for them to go out in the darkness; everyone knew that, but all the while they knew that the enemy would be asleep anyway. Santana didn't think that this would almost cost her, her life. _

_So here she was four months into her captivity and every other day or so, men come in and take advantage of her until she spills information; any information she knows that can help them. She was trained never to utter a word, no matter how much they do to you. She couldn't take the constant pain, but she had no choice; she was fighting for her country; her family back home. They needed her, especially Maya. She needed her mom. _

"_Talk," one of the men tells her, grabbing on her hair, making her scream out in pain. She remained silent, with a stiff look on her face and never flinched once. _

_You could see the sweat and the dry blood formed on different parts of her body as the room reeked of bodily fluids. _

"_You'd rather die than talk?" The man responds and she remains silent, causing him to slap her across the face, making her fall to the ground. "You're a tough one. But you will crack eventually," he replied, walking out of the room. _

_Six months in and she still didn't crack. She still remained naked in that room; never once did they give her clothes, but if she started to smell foul they'd just throw water on her; cold water at that. She learned to have this tough exterior all her life; training didn't teach her to have that, it just taught her to never reveal anything. _

_She knew that all she had to do was tell them what they wanted to hear and she could quite possibly be let go, but she just couldn't. It was her duty to her nation; to her family to not back down from this. She was strong and she knew this; she's not weak and she needed them to see that._

_A year in, the door gets forced open and her vision instantly is blurred by the intensity of the sun. She is curled up against the hall and she's terrified about what's coming up. She's physically weak; they didn't give her much to eat or drink; just enough to keep her alive for information. She suddenly hears a voice; English and even an American accent to add._

"_Oh my God Santana," she hears and her eyes suddenly focus on Alex in front of her, who's mouth is dropped._

"_Al-," Santana's throat was extremely dry as she tried to say her friend's name, causing Alex to give her the canteen of water; the girl practically finished all the contents in it._

"_I thought you were dead. We sent a missing in action report to Brittany like you wanted me to," she informed the frail girl, ripping the top of her uniform off and wrapping it around her. She carried her out and brought her out in the sunlight. Her eyes had to adjust to the light and her skin was visibly pale, but she was alive._

_Back at the camp, she was being cleaned up and now clad in a new uniform, her Captain; Guzzo came into the medic tent. "We informed your family you've been found and we're going to send you home. Your bravery and the way you remained quiet and strong, showed absolute courage," he tells her, making her nod slightly._

"_As gracious as I am, I'd like to stay. Not that I want to be away from my family longer than this, but I don't want them to see me like this," she says with tears forming in her eyes. "Look at me, I'm pale, I'm skinny, I look sick and weak; my family couldn't handle that. I'd appreciate it if everything that has happened here this last year remained here," she explained, making him nod._

"_Frankly, as I said your time is up to visit," Guzzo replied and she nodded in understanding, trying to keep the tears in. "Look you're allowed to cry. Just because you're in the army, does not mean you can't cry, especially after what you went through," he whispers to her, causing her to nod then suddenly let the tears spill over._

"_I just want my family to be proud of me," she whispered and he pats her shoulder comfortingly._

"_They are," he replied back. "You found your way back here after being missing for a year, if that's not something to be proud of then I don't know what is," he adds before giving her a comforting smile, then walking out. _

_Since that whole ordeal, every time they moved from one mission to another, Guzzo asked her if she wants to be sent home, but she always refused until she looked the same way she came to Iraq. She wanted to look healthy again and not scare Brittany, so when she did another brave deed and collapsed on the ground it suddenly wasn't Santana's choice to be sent home anymore; it was Guzzo's and he knew she was away from her family long enough. She looked healthier aside from the forehead gash and bruises, but he knew she needed to go._

Brittany shot up from her seat and walked out, shocking Santana. She quickly paid for the food and ran out after her wife. She looked in both directions and after figuring out which direction she was heading, she followed her. She followed her for about three blocks, until she finally yelled.

"Britt please talk to me!" she yelled, as the blonde just began picking up speed. Brittany quickly jaywalked across the street, making Santana do the same, finally running to catch up to the blonde. "Stop!" she yelled, making her wife turn around.

"No! Let go of me!" she replied in a fuming rage at Santana, pushing her away, causing the dark haired girl to grab her and toss her over her shoulder. Brittany started hitting her wife's back immaturely, but she really didn't care. Santana carried her to the nearby park and placed her on one of the benches.

"You need to talk to me like an adult not a child," Santana finally tells her sternly. "You can't just run away like that and expect me to not follow you Britt," she tells her, causing Brittany to look at her in disbelief.

"And you can't expect me to not walk away when you never even bothered to tell me that these fucking dreams that I've been having for six months were actually true. You lied to me Santana! You told me it never happened, remember? In Chuck E Cheese," she yells at her angry, with tears in her eyes, crossing her arms and shaking her head.

"I know that," Santana tells her softly, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"Oh! Oh! And you didn't even bother to come home when they said you could because you were afraid of how you'd look to me," Brittany clarifies, causing Santana to form tears in her eyes and shake her head.

"It wasn't just that," she comments softly. Brittany has never been this angry at her before and it scared her; terrified her.

"Then what else was it Santana! Tell me, I'm dying to know!" Brittany yelled at her, her chest heaving up and down and her face hard.

"I didn't want you to have to worry and burden yourself to try to help me and make me feel better or whatever. I didn't want you to take care of me because usually I'm the one who takes care of you," she explained, causing Brittany to shake her head and look away. "I'm sorry Brittany, I should have told you all of this. I honestly should have, but it was a terrible memory even I still have a hard time trying to block out, so I tried to bury it in my own memories. I didn't think it'd come into yours," she added, causing the blonde to scoff.

"Of course it would," she told her calmly, making Santana look up at her wife; blue meeting brown again. "You remember when you took me to the dentist and we both had the same Britney Spears fantasy?" Santana looked at her wife deep in thought and blinked after awhile.

"You're right," she barely whispered. "It makes logical sense," she adds, making her wife nod. "But all and all, I'm truly sorry Britt. I hope you can forgive me," she adds, kissing Brittany's cheek, making Brittany look at her curiously.

She was mad, but Brittany guessed she could understand why Santana didn't tell her about all of this, it's not like she was entirely truthful about having the nightmares still. She couldn't remain mad at her for the event; it was out of her control; she just wished she handled it differently. She loved her so deeply that she just wanted her to be safe and honest with her.

Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and brought her on the playground and crawled up on the fort, sitting with her legs crossed in front of Santana who was sitting the same way. "You remember when we were little, we'd come here everyday after school and just play until the sunset?" Brittany asked, making Santana nod.

"Yeah and my mom would practically have to force me away from you, so we'd hold each other in an embrace and watch the sunset, then once it was down we'd just kiss each others cheeks and walk our separate ways to our moms," Santana finished the memory, making Brittany smile softly at her.

"Then when we were in sixth grade, we came here after our first day of school and played. We watched the sunset again in each others arms and you kissed me on the lips. You gave me my first kiss ever that day," Santana recollects, making Brittany smile, then lean in and kiss her softly, placing her hand on her cheek, then pulled away just as slowly as she leaned in.

"You were mine that day too," she whispers to her wife, making her smile while happy tears formed in her eyes, threatening to spill over. "Just promise me to always tell me things, even if they're hard. I know the memory isn't your finest, but you have all these other good memories to outweigh it. Yeah, it's traumatic, but you can't hide something like that forever and you can't expect yourself to take care of me all the time, you have to sometimes let me take care of you; that's what a marriage is all about, remember? 'Through sickness and in health.'," she tells her, making Santana nod stiffly.

"I know and I promise, anything on my mind, I'll be sure to tell you about it, but I expect for you to do the same," Santana states, making Brittany nod. "Deal, now seal it with a kiss," she adds, making them giggle and kiss deeply.

Santana and Brittany laid in bed that night, cuddled up while Brittany fiddled with her wife's dog tags. Santana had to wear them all the time; not to bed but she just got use to wearing them all the time, plus she liked wearing them.

"How did you manage to not fall apart during the time you were held captive and even during the time after you got out? I would've never known you were in that situation if it wasn't for the dreams," Brittany asked, listening to her wife's heartbeat.

"I was trained not to show weakness while in there. I didn't care that they physically were hurting me or doing things to me to make me crack. I cared about making it out of there to see you and Maya again, but when I see you guys again I didn't want to be this numb, pale, frail, looking girl you didn't see before you left. I wanted to be exactly what you saw when I left and that's how I was when I came back," Santana explained with a little sigh at the end, causing Brittany to turn on her stomach and look up at her wife.

"No matter, how you came back there's a few things I know. One, I would've been so proud of you regardless. Two, you would still look beautiful and perfect to me inside and out, and three, I'd still love you as much as I always have. I've loved you since we were kids Santana, nothing would've changed that," Brittany confesses to the dark haired woman.

"I know that now," Santana replied, making Brittany look down and trace circles on Santana's bare chest, giving her chills, but she never faltered.

"You should have always known that," she stated, kissing her wife lightly, wrapping her arms around her waist, making Santana nod as she began running her hand through Brittany's blonde locks.

"I love you," she whispered into Brittany's ear, making the blonde smile inside and out.

"I know and I love you too," she replied, causing them to just lay together for awhile longer until sleep took over them.

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><p><strong><em>Okay so I promised Author's Note, now please read this. First off, I had to added a little bit of fighting because let's face it, they can't always be happy and because I needed something going on. I know a few of you have asked me again why she was gone so long and I came up with this, now I think that they could have sent her home in all reality, but I think it's possible for a soldier to refuse to leave. They need as many people as they can for active duty, but if someone refuses to go home, technically they shouldn't have to leave right? <em>**

**_And with that, if they served their complete time for one deployment, they should technically be given the choice of when to return home. I think Google wouldn't have those answers because in reality, the idea of not wanting to return home from active duty when you have a family at home is a stupid thing to want and people would probably attack you for it if you wrote it on Yahoo! Answers. So I did it that way and now you guys know why she was gone for so long. I'm also pretty good at coming up with drama and that was drama I was just coming up with while writing, but should warn you; more drama will be to come so keep that all in mind. In the meantime, review and let me know what you think._**


	7. Chapter 7

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 7**

Santana sat outside in the backyard, sipping her coffee the next morning deep in thought. She couldn't help, but think that even though she told Brittany everything that occurred while she was in Iraq, there was still more to it than that. It's been about a week since she told her and she couldn't help, but slowly feel like every calm and collected feeling she put on was slowly starting to dissipate. She wasn't going to deny that she got pretty detailed nightmares about that year and every time she did; even though Brittany doesn't know this, she'd get up and come out here and just cry. She didn't know how to cope with it, except for crying. It terrified her that if she got sent back, what if perhaps it happened again? She didn't think she could go through it twice.

She took a sip of her coffee again and then she heard the door open behind her, but she didn't turn around. She heard the sounds of frantic footsteps and Maya ran in front of her; all dressed and ready for school.

"Hey baby, you look so pretty today," she commented with a big smile, making the little girl giggle. "You ready for school now?" she asked her, making Maya nod. It was one of the days where Brittany couldn't take her to school and it wasn't like Santana was doing anything anyway.

Santana managed to get Maya in the car pretty swiftly, making the short drive to the preschool and grabbed her hand to walk up to the facility. Santana brought her in and watched all the other kids going in, then leaned down in front of her.

"Okay now I know Momma gives you the same little speech, but be good and stay out of trouble," Santana tells her, causing Maya to sigh and nod, then she hears her name being called. Maya turned around and saw Grace; immediately the dark haired little girl smiled brightly and all Santana could think about was how her and Brittany were back then. They always greeted each other like and now look where they're at. Maya gave Santana a quick hug and ran off to meet Grace, making Santana laugh lightly, then get up from her knees and as she was about to walk out she heard someone slam their door, making her jump and close her eyes, then take a deep breath.

She remained still for a moment, then heard another slam from a stapler. Staplers aren't even all that loud, but for Santana they sounded like an explosion at this time. She slowly began having a harder time to breath and slowly began taking breaths in and out, then suddenly someone tapped her shoulder, making her jump against the glass door.

"Shit!" She yelled, turning to see Quinn standing there, looking at her weirdly with her eyes wide.

"I'm sorry," she told her as Santana closed her eyes and took one last deep breath.

"It's…um it's alright," she managed to reply, tucking some of her dark hair behind her ear.

"Well I saw you just standing here like an iceberg and I wanted to make sure you were okay," Quinn explained her actions, but she wasn't sure how to explain her old friend's.

"Oh, yeah I just was trying to remember if I forgot anything, but I didn't, so I'm gonna get home now," Santana lied, making her way quickly out of the preschool, trying to dodge any further questions.

**SBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSB**

She managed to get to her car and she just drove. She didn't drive home, but she just kept going; she didn't know where, but she really didn't care. She hit the highway for a few hours, playing her music low. Her emotions in her face remained blank as she kept thinking about everything. She was stuck on the memory of getting gang raped; like it was repetitive and it was.

_Santana was forced to the floor, tears free falling from her eyes as one of the men spread her legs opened and another bent down in front of her, trying to force her mouth open._

"_Sit her up," the leader commanded, causing them to pull her up forcefully, dropping her to her knees as she cried. She suddenly felt this pain; this awful pain she couldn't even begin to imagine. She cried out every time only making him become more forceful._

Santana quickly served off the road to avoid any accidents because by this time she was in tears and it was too hard to visibly see. She got out of the car and began walking around it, kicking the doors. She was angry. She was angry she couldn't fight hard enough. She was weak and she knew it. She noticed her reflection in the window. She hated herself. She was dirty and absolutely disgraceful. She didn't know how Brittany could stand wanting to touch her, so with a swift motion she punched her passenger back window, making it shatter in a million pieces.

She didn't care that her hand was bleeding and shards of glass stuck out of it. There was zero pain; she was too numb to care, so she walked back around and got back into the driver's seat and started the car again and drove back to Lima.

She didn't even know how long she drove to where she actually went because by the time she got back it was already four in the afternoon, she was just thankful that Brittany was picking Maya up today. She finally pulled into the driveway, with her hand still full of shards and now some dry blood and she just sat there for a moment.

"I can't walk in there with a bloody hand without an excuse," she whispered to herself, holding her hand up. She looked around her car and finally found an old sweater and wrapped her hand, then got out of the vehicle.

She walked into the house and saw Brittany, playing with Maya in the living room. Santana quickly began running her hand other the sink, hoping that Brittany wasn't going to get up, but she hoped wrong. Brittany got up and instantly noticed the giant gash on her hand.

"Oh my God Santana what happened?" Brittany asked concerned, trying to grab her hand, only to get it pulled away.

"It hurts," she merely whispered. It wasn't completely true; it just stung a little. Santana managed to get it cleaned up, while her wife supervised basically. "I accidentally locked my keys in the car, so I had to bust a hole in my window and my hand got cut by the loose shards, that's all," she explained to Brittany, who had her arms crossed, looking very concerned.

"Well babe, maybe we should take you to the hospital or something. You could need stitches," Brittany suggested as Santana walked down the hall.

"No really Britt, it's fine. Just little cuts. They're not near any major organs or anything; nothing serious, okay?" Santana clarified, walking to their room as Brittany followed. Santana went into their bathroom and grabbed the wrapping gauze and began wrapping it around her hand. Brittany wrapped her arms around the dark haired woman's waist and kissed her neck gently.

"I can't help being worried about you," she comments to her wife, who rips the gauze after wrapping her hand up enough then, turns around and faces Brittany.

She pecks her lips and smiles at her. "You don't have to worry. I'm fine," she tells her, making the blonde smile back at her returning the kiss.

"You know, that your bad hand isn't the one you do your best work with, right?" Brittany states suggestively, making Santana smirk as she brings her to their bed then lets herself fall to the soft mound, leaning up to kiss her wife gently, making it more passionate, grabbing at the tan woman's backside, causing her to moan and grind her hips hard into her, only to have the blonde return the moan.

Brittany began sliding her hand slowly into Santana's pants, then suddenly Santana shoots up off her and looks at her almost scared.

"Santana? What's wrong?" Brittany asked concerned, still laying on the bed. Santana blinked a couple times, then looked over to the open door.

"Well the door is opened and Maya could see us again, I mean we don't want that, right?" Santana makes up, well in a way it is true, but that wasn't the real reason she shot up, but Brittany just nodded because she knew she was right.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. I'm sorry, I just get so absorbed in you and I've never actually got to touch you since you've been home and I miss that," Brittany tells Santana who just sighs heavily and nods.

"I know and you will when we find the right times, I guess," she shrugs, walking back into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She quickly began pacing back and forth, running her fingers through her hair.

She needed to figure out what to do about these memories. They were effecting her even more severely than ever. She knew how to block them out because no one else knew and she wished she didn't have to constantly think that Brittany was having another nightmare. She just couldn't get the thoughts and images out of her head. She began hitting her forehead, hoping that somehow if she hit it hard enough or even enough times they'd just go away, but they wouldn't.

"Santana you need to think of something," she whispered to herself, sitting down on the closed toilet. She began glancing around the bathroom and finally found a disposable razor, then slowly began pulling the razor out using tweezers. She knew that it was stupid idea to use tweezers but she didn't care. She managed to get the blade out after a short time, then lifted her shirt sleeve and then let the cool blade pierce her arm. She bit her bottom lip as she noticed the blood become visible on her arm, then she stopped and just watched it.

She gulped and just continued to watch it. She felt so at ease; the pain, the memories just seemed like distant flashbacks she'll never have to deal with ever again, but deep down she knew that was lie. She knew that while this moment lasts, another wind of memories will fill back into her mind and she wouldn't be able to control it.

She didn't know how she managed to remain so cool and collected these past months, but she was trained to never falter, no matter what. Maybe she took her training a little too far considering she never bothered to tell Brittany anything about what happened or that she never even decided to go see anybody about this problem. Santana felt that all these feelings were things she could handle on her own; she didn't need help and even if they continue to worsen that's on her; not anyone else.

She finally got up and washed the blood away and hid the razor in the far back of the medicine cabinet and she sat there while the scar she recently made, stopped bleeding, then placed her long sleeve back down and walked out for dinner.

**SBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSBxSB**

_Santana slept on the wet cold ground, curled up trying to keep herself as warm as possible. She hasn't gotten any sleep in days and she knew it was only a matter of time before it only got worse. She had dry blood forming under her left brow and marks on her back that looked like someone lashed a whip at it. The smell was absolutely foul, but it was the least of her worries._

_The door opened, causing her to open her eyes slightly to see one man coming in and leaning down in front of her. She continued to eye him, knowing what he wanted, but she didn't dare rush anything._

"_You ready to talk?" he asked, only to have her remain silent. He grabbed on her hair and pulled her up, causing her to scream out in pain. He began tying her wrists with a rope, tossing it over a pipe in the room._

"_You think I like hurting you?" He asks her, making her look at him, raising her right eyebrow. "All I want is answers," he adds, making her roll her eyes. "Wow, is that really what you think of me?" he asks her, taking her actions and mannerisms as harsh replies._

"_I think you're a guy who likes to be in power," she finally says, making him smirk and nod. "But the problem is, you picked up someone who likes to be in just as much power. You're not getting shit out of me, so why don't you go suck one of your lackey's dick. I'm sure all of them had a taste of yours," she mouths off to him, making him punch her across the face, busting her lip. _

"_Don't mouth off to me," he warns her, placing his finger in front of her face. "Or I'll send my "lackeys" in for another piece of you. They sure love getting all into this," he states, placing his hand down to her crotch…_

Santana shot up in the bed with beads of sweat easily visible on her forehead and chest. She turned over and saw Brittany sleeping peacefully next to her, which she took as a good thing she wasn't tossing and turning or anything traumatic. Her heart was beating faster then a speeding bullet traveling through the air. She couldn't control her breathing as she closed her eyes, trying to block out the images.

She quickly got out of bed afraid she'd wake the sleeping form next to her and walked into the bathroom then opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the little razor blade. She sat down at the far end of the bathroom and just ran the cool blade over her skin, letting the blood flow out. She didn't know how this was helping her get the relief she needed, but she was glad that it was.

She sat there for awhile longer then heard a knock on the door, only to have her snap out of her trance. "Baby, I need to use the bathroom," she hears Brittany's voice causing her to get up quickly.

"Um I'll be just a minute Britt," she replied, placing the blade back in its place, before quickly running her arm under the water, wincing a little as the liquid hit the new wound and the slightly old one. She knew she was going to have a hard time stopping the blood right now being that she was on a time frame, so she quickly grabbed some toilet paper and opened the door.

"Sorry babe, bad stomach," she lied, kissing Brittany's lips lightly, before sliding past her wife, who was looking at her weird.

Brittany could tell something wasn't right. She didn't want to let Santana know, but she did notice the toilet paper she brought out with her.

_Maybe to blow her nose or something, _Brittany thought, closing the door to use the bathroom. After she finished and flushed, she went to the sink and noticed a little bit of blood on counter. She knew that Santana's hand got busted today, so maybe it was from that, but it was fresh blood; that incident happened hours ago, it would've been dry by now and plus she cleaned it out in the kitchen, not the bathroom.

Brittany turned the water on to create the illusion she was washing her hands, then looked around the bathroom to see if anything sharp was sticking out, like perhaps Maya or Santana might have accidentally scratched themselves or anything, but she couldn't find anything. She was about to give up, when she noticed the tweezers out of their place; Santana was always bad about putting them back, so Brittany opened the medicine cabinet and noticed something metal in it, only to confuse her. She pulled it out and noticed dry blood on it. She could tell it was a blade, but she didn't know from where, so she looked in the garbage; it's the first place anybody would look and found instantly the plastic razor with no blade in it.

Her mouth dropped in almost horror; like she saw a ghost. Was Santana cutting herself? She didn't know how she was going to deal with this if it was true. She didn't want to force her wife to tell her anything because they had agreed to always be honest with each other. No she needed someone to talk to. Someone who knew them both better than anybody else, but who?

* * *

><p><em><strong>So I was a little unsure if I should end it here, but I figured maybe you guys can tell me who Brittany should call for help. I have a few in my mind, but I wonder who you guys will pick. I know it's a little sudden for her to find out so quickly, but Brittany isn't dumb (I know some people would disagree, but she has her moments and she probably secretly is a genius in that brain of hers). Anyway, next chapter will have a few things in it that will be angsty and drama-filled. Another thing is, I made a little trailer video thing of this story and it's on my Youtube, which is on my profile. It'll take you right to my channel and you'll see the first video posted is the trailer. It's only about a minute and fifteen seconds and it didn't take me too long to do, but let me know what you think of this and the video in a review and trust me reviews make me write faster because I know you all are enjoying it. Thank you for the ones who review. Love you guys.<strong>_


	8. Chapter 8

** Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 8**

Santana laid flat out on the couch, staring up at the ceiling fan. She watched while each blade moved around in a circle clockwise. She's been laying there since early morning after she dropped her car off at Burt's garage. The house was quiet, maybe even a little too quiet for Santana's liking, but she really couldn't care less.

Her flashbacks and memories were becoming too frequent, numbing her almost too deeply to bear, but she was thankful for her blade. She knew the method to get rid of the constant feelings she harbored wasn't the best, but she didn't know what else to do. If she went to get help, Brittany would find out and she'd be extremely upset with her for keeping it a secret. She hated upsetting Brittany, but she knew this was her fight; this was her problem.

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, then stopped and noticed the scars on her arm. She was somewhat surprised that Brittany hasn't noticed them yet. Her bet was either she was good at hiding them or that she never let Brittany close enough to see them. She knew that it was obvious to the blonde that she was pushing her away more than she should or usually does, but as long as she kept the excuses coming there shouldn't be any problems, right?

A knock on the door, knocked her out of her thoughts. She swung her legs off the couch and stalked over to the front, then opened it to come face to face with Alex. Her eyes widened in shock, but she was really happy to see her. She erupted into a smile and hugged her tightly.

"What are you doing here?" Santana finally says, making Alex smile at her, adding a slight chuckle at the end of it.

"I came to see you. I thought maybe we could talk; it's kind of important," Alex states, making Santana look at her in question. She was confused, but she was sure it won't be for long, so she agreed.

Santana really only needed a light jacket and her shoes being that she was already clad in a T-shirt and jeans, then walked out of the house, locking it behind her, before walking with Alex down the sidewalk.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Brittany walked into the library, not really sure why she picked here of all places. She kept her mind thinking that she just didn't want to have a repeat of Breadstix, when Santana dropped the bomb on her, spilling everything that occurred. She shuddered at the thought, when she thought back on that day. She wanted to be extremely angry at her, but if the roles were switched, she couldn't help but think, would Santana have yelled at her and never forgive her for not telling her every little detail? Probably not. So why would she do the same? The fact of the matter is, she wasn't specifically angry at Santana, she was angry about the situation. She was angry at the men that did the shit to her. She was angry that she didn't come home right after. She harbored her own anger towards the entire revelation, but Santana will never know about it. She didn't want to burden her with her own hate and rage, when she knew it was possible that Santana had some of her own.

She sat at one of the study tables by the Non-fiction section and waited for a few minutes, checking her phone for the time impatiently, before glancing out the window. The sun was shining and not a single dark cloud in sky, _which could only mean it'll be a good day right? _Brittany thought; or more so hoped.

"Hey blondie," she heard a male's voice only to be shushed by the other occupants of the area. She turned her head to see Puck walking over to her, but he was looking at the other people. "Rude much?" he adds with a scoff, making her giggle slightly as he parked himself across from her.

"I think it was more you that was being rude. This is a library, not a bar," she clarifies for him, making him smirk.

"We can always go to one. You know I am always up for a drink," he states, leaning back in his chair, making her shake her head.

"No, but I'm sure I'll need one after this whole situation is figured out," Brittany tells him, making him lean over the wooden table, crossing his arms on it.

"What's going on?" He asked her concerned, causing her to look up at him in his eyes. He genuinely looked concerned, which didn't surprise her since he did come to the library when she asked him to. He was a good guy; very good hearted and plus he knew Santana as well as she did.

"I'll tell you in a minute. We're waiting for Quinn," she finally tells him, making him sigh contently and nod. As if on cue, she came hurrying into the area with her purse in tow and almost running in heels, making Puck laugh slightly.

"What?" Quinn asks him, giving him a dirty look as she made her way to the table finally.

"Nothing, nice of you to join us Charlie's Angel," he jokes, making her eyes narrow at him, before swatting him in his arm, then takes a seat next to Brittany.

"What's going on?" Quinn asks Brittany, wondering why she was called to a library on a Saturday.

Brittany tried to work the words into sentences that she wanted to spill to her friends without it coming out entirely wrong, but not revealing everything all at once. She didn't want to tell them everything Santana endured and the fact she thinks she's cutting; that'd be breaking any form of trust she has with her wife. She just needed to get out the right amount of information to help them get the general idea.

She took a deep breath, then finally spoke. "I think there's something wrong with Santana," she states to them, making them exchange looks. The last time they really saw her she seemed fine; extremely elated and friendly, so they weren't following.

"She's been distant and pretty much every time I try to get close to her or touch her, she pushes me away and makes up some excuse," she explains simply. She wasn't giving them a whole lot of information, but they knew it wasn't like Santana to push Brittany away, especially if involved her being affectionate or even sexual.

"Has she done any other actions to make you believe something really doesn't add up?" Quinn asks her curiously, making the other blonde look at her with a tweaked expression across her lips.

"She came in with her hand bloody with shards of glass sticking out of it. She said she had to break her window because she locked her keys in the car," Brittany explained, causing Puck to finally speak up.

"Do you know what she used to break the window? Or which window she broke?" He asked, trying to get out as much information as he could. He had a conclusion drawn up in his mind about what could have happened, but he wants to make sure the information backed it up, but she just shook her head. "Okay well where's her car now?" he countered.

"At Burt's garage. She got up early and took it there to get the window fixed," Brittany explained, making him nod.

"Okay then here's what we're gonna do. I'll go to Burt's and ask him anything about Santana's car because I have an idea that what she told you was not true, but I'm not ruling it out. I'm just trying to back up if I'm right or wrong, but it'll help you with your answers," he cleared up, making her nod as he got up, only to be stopped.

"What are we suppose to do while you go to Burt's?" Quinn asked curiously at his actions. He looked between the both of them and sighed, before leaning down at the end of the table.

"Stay here, maybe talk about all the evidence some more to see if anything else stands out to you," he advises and gets up, stalking away from the table and out of the library.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana and Alex were sitting on the swings in the park. It wasn't the most adult of places, but every time Santana was here she felt so much ease. Her life seemed simpler and calmer. Maybe it's because she had so many amazing memories here. Alex looked up at the other dark haired girl next to her, who looked deep in thought, but didn't dare to speak just yet.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Santana finally broke out of her train of thought and looked over at her, making her lips form in a straight line.

Alex looked away then closed her eyes. She sighed deeply; whatever she needed to say was truly troubling her it was clearly visible on her face. She looked back over at Santana with so much remorse in her eyes.

"We're both being sent back," she said quietly, making Santana's world crash down. She wasn't sure how much considering her world has already been crashing down since she's been home. She began shaking her head as tears began forming her eyes. "Look you don't have to go," Alex whispers, pulling the swing closer to her friend, causing the other woman to look up at her.

"What do you mean?" Santana asked as her voice audibly cracked, not being able to control the emotions she was feeling.

"You can check in to one of those therapy places and get help for what happened," Alex suggests, making Santana narrow her eyes and gulp.

"I'm not crazy Alex," she states bitterly, making Alex sigh and shake her head.

"Honey, I'm not saying you are. You endured so much…too much," she states, stopping for a brief moment, before continuing. "You've gone through far too much to have left, not even the least bit scarred, which only makes me think you're carrying it deep inside you and not letting anyone see that it truly is twisting your insides," she explained to her, making Santana scoff and cross her arms. "Santana, you need help," she finishes, causing Santana to shake her head.

"No I really don't. Am I terrified to go back? Fucking right I am, but I'm not backing down from my duty. It's my job, Alex as much as it is yours," she counters back almost spitefully.

"Yes, but I was never captured for a year, but you know what? Even the images I see, of people getting shot or blown up by grenades, nothing was more worse than seeing you on the ground of a foul smelling stone two by nothing hunt ass naked, do you understand that?" Alex asks, getting off the swing and kneeling down in front of her friend. "I hurt everyday seeing you in that position, I couldn't imagine you going back or even enduring what you did. The fact of the matter is, when I got the news we both were being sent back, I wanted to rip up the damn notice that was meant for you and say it was lost in the mail or some fucked up excuse, but that would penalize me and it would be wrong for you. I knew one way or another, they'd come back for you, so I figured maybe I can come to you and convince you to check in a rehabilitation center for veterans; to be a good friend," Alex explains as Santana continues to avoid eye contact with her.

"Look at me," Alex asks; more like commands softly, causing Santana to look at her. "I can't force you to stay, but I beg you to think about it. I mean truly think about it," she finishes softly, causing Santana to tighten jaw while looking down, but finally decides to nod, stating she understood and would think about it.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Puck walked the inside of the garage, which was full of cars. Puck wasn't sure if he should be concerned or not since there were so many, but that wasn't the reason he was there. He circled the place, before finding Burt under one of the cars, causing him to lean down underneath to see the slightly older man with a wrench in one hand and a towel in the other.

"Burt," he finally says, causing Burt to jump a little. "Jeez I'm sorry sir," he politely apologizes, causing Burt to slide out from under the car, cleaning off the wrench.

"It's alright Puckerman. I just thought I was alone, so you snuck up on me," he states as he gets up, groaning slightly, which is to be expected. He's not exactly in his thirties anymore.

"No need to explain, but still I apologize for scaring you," he finishes, only allowing Burt to nod briefly.

"So what can I do for you?" Burt request, getting down to business, making Puck sigh.

"I was actually curious if Santana Lopez brought her car into the garage today," Puck states, placing his hands in his jean pockets, knowing the answer already.

Burt looked away curiously, but slowly began nodding. "Yeah, yeah she did. Um…broken window," he states, walking around the garage as Puck followed closely in toe.

"Do you perhaps remember which window needed to be fixed?" He asked, causing another curious look to run across the older man's face, but he nodded nevertheless.

"Yeah back passenger window. My guess someone broke in or something since the whole thing was completely shattered, but I never bother with details," he replied, making Puck nod in understanding.

"Thank you very much sir," he said appreciative, shaking his oil filled hand before walking out of the area. Now just to go back to the library and state his findings.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Brittany and Quinn still remained at the same spot Puck left them, waiting patiently for him to return. They hoped he found out something that could help them, lead to finding what they needed to know. Brittany was feeling like her marriage was crumpling beneath her and there was absolutely no way to stop it and it terrified her. She loved Santana with every fiber in her being, but she knew something was off with her wife and Santana refused to share it.

"I remember something," she heard Quinn say, breaking her out of her thoughts, causing Brittany to look at her, showing she was listening. "I remember I just got done dropping Grace off at preschool and I saw Santana there. I was about to say hi, but I noticed her just standing there completely still; almost frozen and then I tapped her shoulder and she just jolted up in fear, scaring me too," Quinn explained the encounter, causing Brittany to look at her curiously, but also confused. It almost made her think of the time she tried to get intimate with Santana and she snapped up with so much fear in her eyes.

"Did she make an excuse afterwards?" Brittany asked, causing Quinn to nod.

"Yeah she um said she thought she may have forgotten something, then walked out of the preschool quickly," Quinn informed her. It got Brittany really thinking, if they were both getting the same reactions out of Santana, something was definitely off.

_But what? _Brittany thought.

"Okay I think I found something that can contribute to your thoughts," she heard a slightly chipper voice, only to make her groan on the inside. Brittany only wanted Puck and Quinn to show up, so why the fuck was Rachel there?

"What did you find?" Quinn asked, before giving Brittany a chance to even get a word out, but Brittany did anyway.

"No wait now. You don't even know half of the things we've been saying, so how could you possibly know what this even is about?" Brittany asked more bitterly than usual.

Rachel glanced over at Quinn, who looked down in her lap. "I'm been texting her the information we've been sharing," Quinn confessed, making Brittany scoff, making her head angrily. "I thought she could help Britt," she added, trying to explain actions were out of good faith.

"It doesn't matter, the point is I wanted you and Puck here. You two know Santana as well as I do, if not more. The fact of the matter is, I didn't invite her. I invited you. I know she's your wife and that's fine and dandy, but I think it's a little fucked up that you went behind my back, to spill my marriage problems to your wife," Brittany fumed, making the other occupants glance over in their direction. It's not that she was being extremely loud, but they could just tell there was something going on.

"I'm sorry Britt," Quinn desperately apologized, just as Puck showed up again, only to glance over in Rachel's direction.

"Why are you here?" Puck asked curiously, not sounding rude. "Oh wait, where the wife goes the other follows? Got it," he answers himself, before anyone else could.

"What did you find out?" Brittany asked him, ignoring the little comments as he sits down, then leans over the table near Brittany.

"Okay well I found out that her window was completely shattered, but here's the kicker," he starts, pausing for dramatic effect. "It was the back passenger window, which means it's completely impossible she was trying to get her keys out when they're on the complete opposite side," he finishes, making them nod. Brittany was just in shock. Santana lied to her…again. Was their marriage really becoming one giant mess of lies?

"If I may, I know you are upset Brittany about me being here, but I really do have something I'd like to show you," Rachel states finally getting the courage to do so. Brittany just looks up at her, gulping a little bit before casting her gaze upon the smaller woman.

"Go for it," was all Brittany could say as Rachel pulled out papers and placed them on the table.

"Now with the information I was given, I could come up with only one Google search that fit it perfectly, but now with Noah's information it makes even more sense," she begins, also pausing for dramatic effect; only natural for a dramatic person like herself. "I think Santana could be suffering from PTSD also known as Post-traumatic stress disorder. You get flashbacks from even the smallest things, you become angry, which explains the window. My thought is she punched it in, I mean what else would explain the shards of glass in her hand? Plus it is highly common for war veterans. They first noticed it in the veterans of the Vietnam war," she educated everyone at the table, only to make Brittany shake her head.

"No," she whispered, causing them to look up at her.

"Brittany, I know you don't want to believe that she's sick, but…" Rachel starts, only to have Brittany slam her hands down on the table and jolt up from her seat, casting herself over the table at Rachel.

"She's not sick! She's not crazy, okay? Look I didn't even want you here, so why don't you just go the fuck away!" Brittany yelled, now being extremely loud, really making people stare in their direction, causing Quinn and Puck to pull Brittany down back in her seat.

"Britt, look at me," Puck says softly, noticing the tears welled up in the blonde's eyes. She refused to look up, so he grabs her hand and pulled her into one of the isles of books and sits her down on the floor as he sits next to her. He wrapped his arm around her, causing her to lean against his shoulder.

"Britt listen, I know you're worried," he begins. Within his voice there was so much sincerity and so much compassion and care. He just wanted to help his friends out the best he could, but he needed Brittany to calm down because he hated to admit it, but Rachel seemed to be spot on with her diagnosis.

"I can't imagine what you're going through or even what Santana is going through for that matter, but whatever happened back there really got to her. You and I both know she isn't crazy and no one is saying she is, but you gotta know, if this continues and she doesn't get the help she needs, she might as well be absolutely insane. She'll only get worse Britt," he explains to her, causing her to look up and wipe her tears.

"I don't want her to hate me," she whispers, looking down at her hands in her lap.

"If she loves you as much as we know she does, she'll never hate you for anything," Puck points out to her, only to make her nod. He was right about it all. Santana needed help. She couldn't ever hate her for anything either, not matter what it was; she just hoped that she wasn't too late.

"You're right," Brittany finally whispered, getting up giving Puck the cue to get up as well. "I should apologize to Rachel for my outburst on her, in fact if wasn't for her we wouldn't know what's wrong with her, so I should actually be thanking her," Brittany rambled, making Puck smile sadly.

"Yeah she's a pain in the ass, but when you really need her she follows through," he admits, making her agree, then walk back to the table. Brittany apologized desperately to Rachel for everything, which she knew Rachel was going to accept, but she still wanted Rachel to know how truly sorry she was. Rachel really was just glad she could help out, plus she apologized for her intrusion and for the fact that she said Santana sick and implied she was insane, but Brittany knew that her friends were right; she just needed to figure out how to approach Santana about this whole thing.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Brittany managed to come home to a vacant house, which worried her a little bit, until she noticed a message on the answering machine from Santana, stating Alex was in town and that she'll be back in time for dinner. Brittany took this opportunity to make dinner for just the two of them, while Maya stayed at Quinn and Rachel's. She liked being around Grace, which was good because she knew Maya could use a distraction and what better than a friend?

She also began to really think about it and take notice that Santana hasn't been playing with Maya as much either. She knows that she takes her to school sometimes and she use to watch television with her often and read her bedtime stories but it's starting to become less of an occurrence; she rarely ever actually interacts much with her. It really bothered her, but now she knows why. She was distancing herself from her entire family to hide all the pain she was dealing with. Now that she knows she's cutting, that's sure fire that the PTSD was becoming far worse than she imagined.

_What if we didn't catch it now? What if she started becoming violent towards us like in that Natalie Portman movie? _Brittany thought, even though she knew deep down Santana would never lay a hand on either one of them or worse; possibly why she was distancing herself to make sure it doesn't happen.

Brittany set the table and just as she did the finishing touches the door opened, causing her attention to go in that direction. She saw Santana sliding her jacket off and hanging it up as well as her keys then walk further into the lit area.

"Something smells good," Santana comments, smiling a forced smile at her wife. Brittany could tell, frankly all the answers and details were there visibly; always have been, but she just never noticed them until they were placed out in front of her.

"Yeah I thought we could have a dinner just the two of us," Brittany played along, causing Santana to nod and go and sit at the table across from Brittany. They began eating silently as Brittany glanced up curiously at Santana.

"We need to talk," they say in unison. Unnoticed by Brittany; Santana, too was glancing up at her.

"You first," Brittany counters, forcing her fork into her chicken, making Santana's mouth form into a straight line as her head shook.

"No, no you go," Santana fired back, making Brittany only send the request back to her wife, who just sighed, but nodded nevertheless. She placed her utensils on the plate and took a deep breath and let it out, then looked up at Brittany who was eying her, waiting for her to state what she wanted to say.

_"I'm being sent back."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>I debated about updating now, but I decided I would since it was done and all. I can't remember the last time I wrote so quickly for a story, but I am just interested in telling the story. I don't know how many chapters are left in this, but it's not going to be a twenty chapter story; just a warning. I'll try to keep it going for as long as I can for the people who love it, but yeah. Thank you to the people who reviewed and if you haven't please do; they make me really happy and I'd like to break 100 reviews before Chapter 9; no pressure people. Another thing, fair warning again, Chapter 9 will take a little while to be written, but hopefully with enough encouragement I'll have it written faster. In the meantime, please review and let me know what you think. Thanks! :)<strong>  
><em>


	9. Chapter 9

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 9**

Brittany looks at the woman in front of her. Mouth jarred open; barely breathing not sure if tears are welling up in her eyes or not. Santana just sat there, looking at the blonde with absolutely zero emotion visible on her face. She knew she should be comforting her wife through all of this and say "it's okay I'll be back soon" like the last time, but she couldn't. In reality, she knew she could prevent herself from even uttering those words, but she couldn't bring herself to do what Alex told her. The secrets; the lies, they're already too deep and to try and dig herself out of it, would be impossible at this point.

"I'm sorry," Santana whispered, getting up from the table slowly, walking away.

Brittany sat there for a moment longer, trying to get a grip on the little bit of information that was just shared. She couldn't even begin to process it all. She had the answers that could save her wife from going anywhere, but she wasn't sure if she should tell her now. Santana wouldn't listen to her; she stubborn as it is.

_But I have to at least try, _Brittany thought, getting up finally, following where Santana retreated into their bedroom. She walked in and saw Santana packing up her duffle, causing Brittany to look down and sigh heavily, causing the brunette to look up.

"You can't go," Brittany finally commanded, breaking the silence only to have Santana stop for a second, holding a shirt, then have her continue placing her clothes in; only a beat slower. "Did you hear me?" Brittany repeated, not liking her wife's actions and silence. It cut her like a knife; no pun intended.

"Yeah I heard you," Santana stated bitterly, causing Brittany to walk over to her and sit on the duffle, making her sigh frustrated.

Did Brittany not know this was hard for her too? She was petrified. She didn't want to go. _So why are you leaving then? _Her brain asked her. _I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences, _she answered subconsciously.

_I'm afraid of re-hatching old wounds. _She added in thought. _How can it be old, when they still feel so new? Deal with your issues. You have an amazing wife here to support you. _Her brain kept arguing with itself and she wasn't sure which side was winning; everything was becoming too much; she didn't know how to handle it.

_No, this is my duty. I have to go. I have to; no matter how badly it pains me. I have to go. _Her mind eventually told her.

"Brittany move your ass right now," Santana stated, only to have Brittany's arms and legs cross as a response. "Fuck Britt, I'm not kidding!" Santana yelled.

"I'm not either," she simply replied. Santana began to absolutely fume furiously. She really wanted to _punch _Brittany; she never admitted that to herself before, but she desperately wanted to. She ended up curling her hands up into a fist and with a swift movement she hit the wall, making Brittany jump for a second, but regain composure. "Oh yeah? Is that how you busted your window?" She taunted Santana, making the dark haired woman look at her.

"Yup sure did!" Santana yelled, "Get off my shit now Brittany. I'm not fuckin' playin' around with you!" She added in a rage, slightly pushing Brittany off the duffle. With a huff, Brittany got off, knowing it was a stupid idea to sit on the duffle anyway. She examined the hole in the wall from the doorway, then glanced back at her wife.

"You know, you'll lose everything if you leave," Brittany states bitterly, not raising her voice. Santana tossed her underwear on the rest of the clothes with a huff, stopping for a moment, crossing her arms angrily eyeing Brittany.

"Elaborate why don't you," Santana commented. Seeing Santana stop packing to listen to what she had to say gave the blonde an inkling bit of hope that she could talk her out of it; _Santana style_; meaning you tell the blunt truth with hints of threats.

"You're walking out on your family and let's face it, since you've told me about what happened, you've been walking out on us since. You haven't told me any bit of truth since you've been back. I feel like our marriage is becoming a web of lies and secrets in which if we divorce no one else would be to blame, but you," Brittany educates Santana, who ended up calming down through this entire speech. She looked down at the ground. _Brittany is thinking about divorcing me, _was all Santana could ponder about. She couldn't blame her. She hasn't been a good wife lately.

"I'm not saying I want to divorce you. I love you, you know I do, but if we continue down this road, we'll never be happy and this marriage won't survive," Brittany adds, getting ready to walk out. "If you leave on that plane there are a few things you should expect. One, me to not come pick you up when you return. Two, me and Maya to not be here when you come back and three, a divorce, so you better figure out what's more important; your "duty to your country" or your "duty to your family and _yourself_"," Brittany finishes, walking out with tears visibly streaming down her pale cheeks. She sincerely hoped Santana would make the right decision, but in the meantime, she didn't want to be there in case she did make the wrong one, so she grabbed her keys and left.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana heard the front door slam and she looked down at her nearly half packed (or half unpacked; depending on how you look at it) duffle. She didn't know what to think about herself right now. She felt like she needed to go back; it was her _job_, but was her job worth losing her family over and possibly her friends again? She knew that if she showed up at that airport to get on that plane, she probably wouldn't even have Alex anymore. She really wouldn't be able to handle losing everyone that she loved and cared about.

All of this was just too much. She just wanted it all just to go away. She wanted Brittany to come back. She wanted to cuddle up with Maya on the couch and watch her favorite movie or television show until they passed out without feeling like she had to be distant. She wanted to let Brittany touch her in the most intimate of ways and vise versa without feeling disgusting, dirty and absolutely worthless. She wanted a lot, but she was never going to get those chances or those moments back.

She stalked to the bathroom and pulled open the medicine cabinet, finding the blade in front, openly exposed on the shelf. She knew. Brittany knew what she was doing and that's why she reacted that way, well partly anyway. She took it off the shelf and sat down on the counter, placing the cool blade to her skin once again. Her hand began to shake as tears became unbearably hard to control, before she threw the blade in the trash. She sniffle and looked at her arm. Her old scars were already light and there was no blood on her arm. She couldn't do it.

_That's a good sign, right? _Santana thought to herself. _I can't do this anymore. _she thought to herself, holding her face in her hands.

_Yes you can, _the other side of her brain told her, but she wasn't sure which one was right and which one was wrong.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Brittany wasn't sure where she was going to go, but she knew it was anywhere, but home. She sat in her car deep in thought. She couldn't believe that Santana was willing to risk everything they have; their love, their marriage, her daughter, her friends; everything. Nobody was going to forgive her if she actually decided to up and go. It broke her heart in a million pieces, knowing that Santana was thinking about leaving and not only that, but hurting like she was inside feeling like she was unable to tell her how she felt or how badly all of this was, truly bothered her.

She knew nothing she could say or do at this point can change Santana's mind. She said her piece now it was up to her wife to make the decision, so now here she was in front of the Fabray-Berry residents, knowing her friends will question why she was there, but she didn't know where else to go, plus she'd like to be with Maya and prepare the little girl, if perhaps Santana does end up giving them up for her stupid pride.

She got out of the car and knocked on the door, immediately it was answered by Quinn, who looked at her shocked. In the background, Rachel was running to get Grace into the bath who was running around naked.

"Grace Beth, it is time to get clean!" Rachel yells, only to hear a faint no, with a huff she runs after her again. Both women watched this exchange briefly before turning back to one another.

"Sorry about that, it's a mad house when it comes down to bath and bedtime. Although Maya was extremely good when it came to bath time," Quinn informed, making Brittany smile softly.

"Yeah she's a good girl when it's not her parents," Brittany replied, making Quinn laugh slightly, then change the subject.

"So what's going on? I thought you'd be with Santana working things out," she stated, making Brittany look down at the ground, only to have Quinn take the hint that she should close the door and they sit outside on the steps. The night was surprisingly chilly that evening, but not unbearable.

"She's being sent back Q," Brittany confessed as Quinn's eyes widen in shock.

"What? Well she can't go," Quinn hissed, not to Brittany personally, but she didn't like the fact that her friend was emotionally unstable right now and the catalyst that started it all is resurfacing.

"Yeah, well try telling her that," Brittany breathed out, running her hand through her hair, letting a heavy sigh that desperately needed to be released since she left the house. "I told her my piece, even threatened her that if she left I'm divorcing her," she told the blonde, causing Quinn to shake her head.

"Wow, that's a big deal. Would you really divorce her if she left?" Quinn asked curiously. She hoped they wouldn't because if Santana and Brittany didn't work out, it's almost as if there would be no hope for anyone else. They've been through a lot together and if they divorced, it's like everything they've gone through would've been for nothing; a waste of time and become distant memories.

"I'd prefer not to, but it'd be for the best. For both me and Maya. Quinn, she doesn't even stay around long enough to be with her daughter, who she's been away from practically her whole life. Don't be around me, fine but don't punish your own daughter," Brittany cried into her hands, causing Quinn to wrap her arm around her and pull her into her. It pained her to see one of her dearest friends in so much agony and she didn't know how to help. Comforting is a good place to start, no doubt, but she wished she could do more. Giving her hope may be the best route to go, let's just hope it isn't false hope.

"Well Britt, you don't know what decision she'll make," Quinn finally replied sincerely as she listened to the blonde sniffle in her arms.

"She'll pick her duty. It's all about pride for her. If I knew she was going to do this, I would've never married her," She said through sobbing eyes.

"Yes you would have because you love her," Quinn replied softly, wiping the tears away. "I tell you what, there's no point on dwelling on the past. Let's focus on the future and if her decision is to leave then you clearly already have the mindset on what you're gonna do, but just keep an opened mind. Even Santana Lopez surprises people sometimes," Quinn persuaded as Brittany sniffled once again, but nodded nevertheless. She knew Santana was capable of surprising people with her actions. She knows when to do the right thing, so maybe she wasn't giving her wife the credit or benefit of the doubt.

"I can't go home though, just in-case, you know?" Brittany breathed out allowing Quinn to get the hint, pulling her up to her feet.

"You can sleep here for the night," Quinn confirmed as they walked into the house to see Rachel walking out of the bedroom after finally getting both girls to bed. She was soaked from head to toe, making them look at her confused.

"I fell in the tub, okay?" She admitted, making them laugh at her as she pouted. "Are you here to get Maya? I just put her to bed because you said she was sleeping over," Rachel rambled, making Quinn stop her.

"Babe no, Britt is gonna stay here tonight. Her and Santana aren't exactly on the best of terms right now," Quinn explained vaguely, causing Rachel to give the blonde an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I guess dinner didn't go so well?" Rachel asked, crossing her arms over her damp shirt, only to have Brittany simply shake her head.

"She's being deported again," she mentions, causing Rachel to look at her with the same face Quinn did. "I really don't wanna get into it again, so I'm just gonna head to bed now. Q, if you wanna tell her about it you can, night guys. Thank you for letting me stay here," she added, hugging them both; well she patted Rachel on the shoulder since she was still drenched.

She made her way towards the spare bedroom, when Grace's bedroom door opened, making Brittany turn around as she saw Quinn and Rachel's bedroom door close. She looked at the door and a little brunette popped her head out, looking around the hall then spotted Brittany.

"Momma!" she yelled, making Brittany walk over and shush her with her finger.

"Shh you're gonna wake Grace up honey," she whispered, holding her in her arms, making Maya giggle. She was always giggling and laughing about something, which was typical since she had no worries. She was glad that through everything with Santana, Maya didn't seem all that phased. Her guess was because Santana hasn't been around anyway, so for Maya it was like when Santana was deployed.

Brittany opened the spare bedroom door and brought Maya in with her, sitting her on the bed while she slipped her shoes and jacket off, then slid into bed, arching the pillow a little bit so she could sit up, looking at her daughter.

Maya crawled on the bed and laid next to Brittany, cuddling up to her, making Brittany kiss the top of her brown mop. "Momma?" Maya asked as Brittany stroked her hair.

"Hmm?" She asked the now four year old. Brittany was surprised that Santana actually was back long enough for Maya's birthday and even managed to attend the party they threw for her at that; then again, she didn't know what she knew now about her wife, so she can't really say she was _surprised_ that Santana managed to attend the party.

"Where is Mommy?" She asked her tiredly yawning, making Brittany giggle slightly; not at the question, but the way it was delivered.

"She's at home sleeping baby," she told her. It wasn't a lie, in fact she didn't know what Santana was doing. She hasn't text or called her since she left the house after their little argument and she wasn't about to. She knew they equally needed their space after what happened, but it amazed her the most that; Santana was gone for three years, she didn't think they could need anymore space after that.

"Why she not sleep here?" She mumbled this time only to make Brittany wish that Maya would just fall asleep. She didn't like when the girl fought to stay awake.

"She wanted to sleep there and I wanted to sleep here; that's all, now get some sleep baby," she told her softly kissing her head again and by that time, Maya already slowly drifted to sleep. Brittany wished that she could fall asleep; to her, Maya fell asleep fast, but Brittany's mind was working overtime and wanted to let her keep thinking about everything Santana related and she hated it; thinking, not Santana.

"I love you, but I wish you'd realize how much I do," she whispered more to herself, before she was able to clear her head of the thoughts long enough to let fatigue take over her.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Alex was clad in her uniform at the airport with her duffle in tow the next morning. She was clinging on to it tightly as she watched people get dropped off by family members and taxis. She sighed heavily, desperately unsure why she was outside of the terminal. Her husband and son dropped her off about fifteen minutes ago, crying, but knowing she'd be back soon. She came to the realization that she couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't bring herself to leave her family again and again; it was becoming too hard to watch them drive away, knowing it'll be a year or a year and half before she saw them again; it hurt in the pit of her stomach, but she knew it was apart of the job. So with that, she decided she was dropping out after this deployment. She did her four years; this time will mark past it. It was an amazing experience she'll never forget, but she needed to be back with the people that mattered.

She knew where her mind was set; on coming home to her family. She hoped that Santana's mind was set on the same thing and not just as a goal to come home, but a goal to _stay_ home. Her family needed her here. Her friends needed her here. She needed herself to be here. She wished her friend saw that.

Now she knew why she was out there. She was outside of the terminal, watching to see if Santana was going to show up or not. She hoped she wouldn't; sounds terrible when she's her friend, but it wasn't out of being spiteful. She sighed and circled the spot she stood in almost marking it as her territory as someone tapped her shoulder, causing her to turn around.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," She stated instantly seeing Santana, standing right in front of her.

* * *

><p><em>You guys hate me don't you? D: I have part of Chapter 10 written and I have a new story just posted called Secrets, please check it out and let me know what you think. I don't know when this story is ending, but I think it'll be soon; I say maybe three more chapters. In the meantime, I'll keep you updated on this and I'll keep writing my new story and if you guys want to contact me; I take PMs here, I have a Twitter and I have a Tumblr; both links are in my profile. I keep everyone informed when I am writing and updating and if I need help I ask. I enjoy keeping my readers involved in what I write; getting their input and what they like to see, so follow both if you want any. Thank you everyone for the reviews and let me know what you guys think (: .<em>


	10. Chapter 10

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions in tact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**_Quick note: Read the Author's Note at the end. It's IMPORTANT! Enjoy this chapter (:_  
><strong>

**Chapter 10**

"_You've got to be fucking kidding me," _She stated instantly seeing Santana, standing right in front of her. Alex didn't know what to feel at this point. Anger. Hate. She wanted to beat the shit out of her _friend_. Yes she still considered Santana her friend, but she just didn't like her at in this moment.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed, as Santana walked closer to her making Santana give her a hard look before sighing. She shook her head of the thoughts that were still harboring her brain.

She opened her arms and scaled them up and down her body, to give Alex a signal to pay attention. Alex noticed; she noticed that Santana was standing there and not in her uniform, but in street clothes. Her face softened as she took deep notice while staring at her friend.

"I'm here to see you off. You're right, I need help," Santana told her, before making her way over to a nearby bench as Alex followed in suit, sitting down next to her. "I got into a fight with Brittany. She knew about everything and she begged me to stay, but I wasn't having it, but even before she left and told me I would lose everything I had; that her and Maya wouldn't be here when I returned, I still continued to pack," she explained as tears slowly welled up on the brim of her eyes. Alex sat there looking at her intensely, knowing this was hard for her to say, but she needed to be there for her.

"Then I thought about what I was feeling before she left. Brittany sat down on my duffle to prevent me from packing. I felt…I felt so much rage towards her that I wanted to _punch_ her. I wanted to punch my wife and I've never felt that way towards her in the years I've known her," she explained as the tears spilled over the brim, not being able to balance on them any longer. Alex wrapped her arm around her shoulder comfortingly, letting out a content sigh.

"But you didn't right?" Alex asked in a mere whisper only loud enough for Santana to hear. Santana choked on a sob, but shook her head.

"No, but I almost did. I balled up my hand in a fist and it was so quick; so instant. I quickly swerved it to the wall. I placed a hole in our bedroom wall, I mean I could only imagine what I would've done to her face," she commented, now bawling uncontrollably. "I had that constant image in my head of her with a black eye or blood coming from her nose or forehead, I just couldn't handle it," she stopped for a moment to control herself. "I don't want to lose everything I have. I tried so hard to get where I am with Brittany. We have a daughter, something I always wanted and we're married, something I've always wanted. If I throw all of that way, that'd be almost ridiculous. There should be no contest on what's more important to me in my life. The fact is my family is the most important thing to me; I just lost my way for a moment," she sniffled, wiping her tears away as they fell.

"Well you found your way back, so welcome back Lopez," Alex said, giving her a slight shake, making Santana smile a little. "You'll get better at being able to control your flashbacks or memories. Give it time and please stick with this. Just keep in mind that you'll be doing it for your family's future, I mean haven't you always wanted something else in your future?" Alex encouraged, making Santana nod instantly. "What's that?" She asked curiously. She didn't have much time left before she had to depart to her gate, but she really wanted to finish talking to Santana.

Santana laughed slightly. "Give Maya a little brother or sister," she replied softly, making Alex's eyes widen in aw, but smile brightly.

"You won't be able to do that if you're not in the right state of mind, so stick with it," she clarified, making Santana nod in agreement. Alex got up with Santana and wrapped her arms around her for a tight embrace. "Write me and I'll write back," she promises her softly as Santana agrees, pulling away giving her smile.

"Kick ass out there," Santana states, making Alex laugh.

"Pft don't I always?" She replies being cocky for a moment, making Santana laugh, but nevertheless agree. Alex was probably one of the most hardworking soldiers she's ever met and had the privilege of fighting along side with.

"Goodbye Lopez," Alex said, hugging her one more time as Santana happily returned it.

"Goodbye Ramirez," she said, with a content smile and sigh, then pulled away, patting her shoulders. They begin walking away after saying goodbye, before Santana turns around spotting Alex about to go through the automatic doors.

"Hey Alex!" She yells in her direction, causing her to stop and look in Santana's direction. "It's not goodbye. It's see you later," she tells her with a smile, making Alex return it, nodding slowly.

"See you later then," she calls back, before giving her one last smile, then walking back into the terminal.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana walked through the car garage of the airport, deep in thought. She knew she was doing the right thing and wasn't second guessing her choice, but she couldn't stop thinking about what if she did make the wrong decision. What would have happened had she gone back to Baghdad? Would she have been captured again? Would she have made it? Or what if she was shot? She had all these grim images in her mind and she needed to disregard them.

She got into the car and pulled her phone out and began sending a text, with an address in tact in it, before starting her car and driving to the destination. She text Brittany, hoping she'd meet her at the place as quickly as possible. The place was relatively far, but this is what she needed to do. She was absolutely exhausted, not being able to sleep at all last night, so she ended up staying up until the wee hours of the morning getting everything sorted and situated, so she could do what she had to do.

She drove about an hour and half to get to her destination in Dayton. She picked a place as close as possible to Lima, even if it wasn't close enough for her liking, but she'd have to accept the fact that, she won't be seeing her wife or her daughter that often, but at least she won't be dodging bullets.

She pulled into the parking lot of the institution and looked up at it, then spotted a bench outside, where she saw a mound of blonde hair, immediately walking over towards the owner of it. She walked closer, noticing it was Brittany, then she stopped and took a deep breath. She didn't know how to face her after everything she's done, but she could tell it was obvious that Brittany wanted to be here, otherwise she wouldn't have come.

She nodded as if she just talked herself into something then walked in front of Brittany. She looked down for a moment, then back up at the blonde; blue meeting brown. They stayed silent before Brittany got up and placed her hands on both sides of her cheeks and kissed her deeply. It was soft and gentle, but Santana didn't kiss back probably over the mere shock that Brittany even ignited a kiss, before pulling away.

"What was that for?" Santana asked unsure, rubbing the back of her neck. She was horrible to her; her whole family. She just didn't think she deserved a kiss from her. Although she did enjoy it a great deal.

"You didn't leave," she whispered to her, giving her a small smile which Santana returned before they both sat down. "So why did you ask me to drive all the way to Dayton?" She asked her softly, which Santana put her hand up and turned to face her.

"I'll tell you in a minute, but I need to say a few things first," Santana tells her, taking another deep breath and letting it out uneasily as Brittany nodded. She grabbed Brittany's hand, who willingly allows her to take it, knowing she probably needed the support.

"First, I am so sorry I've been so out of it I guess is the nicest way to say it. I've been a bitch to you and Maya. I've been a horrible mother and wife these past few months and when you gave me that choice between my family and my duty, I continued to pack. I went into the bathroom to cut, which I know you know I have, but I couldn't do it," She begins to elaborate on her problems, looking at Brittany the whole time. Her face was clearly showing an uncomfortable sadness. She felt terrible that Santana felt like she had to bottle up her emotions, but she understood why she did it, she just doesn't think her reasoning was good enough.

"I couldn't do it, but I racked my brain deciding if I should go or not, then I went back into the room and continued to pack. After everything was packed I stood there and just looked at the hole in the wall. My mind went back to thinking of how I felt when you sat on my duffle," she continued, tearing up again. She wasn't sure how many times she was going to cry today, but she was making a point that she needed to do this; she had to tell her everything.

"I thought about how much rage I was feeling towards you for not letting me go and how badly I wanted to…punch you," she said choking the last part out, causing Brittany to wince a little, but not letting her hand be removed from Santana's. The fact is, she was shocked and slightly terrified that she even thought of something like that, but it eased her remembering how she didn't. Maybe Brittany was being too forgiving about this whole thing, but she couldn't help but think about how wrong it would be not to be there for her. She didn't go and get on that plane it had to count for something, right?

"That was my breaking point. When I thought about physically harming you; it was one step closer to harming Maya and I couldn't…I couldn't do that," she finished, shaking her head in the process, before licking her bottom lip. She felt almost defeated, like those men won. They wanted to break her and they did; no they dismantled her and she didn't know how to get put back together.

"I think you should've realized when you started harming yourself. Breaking your window…cutting; why would you harm yourself, but refuse to hurt me?" Brittany asked just to hear her answer. She knew about her personal demons and she could clearly tell they were breaking her, but what would possess her to want to harm herself even more than she's already been harmed?

"I always refused to ever lay a hand on you and to hurt myself was the easiest way to deal with things. It made me feel good, like it was releasing every bad memory I had within me, until it healed. All good things must come to an end," Santana replied as Brittany turned her arm over, finally seeing the scars. She guided her fingertips over the wounds as Santana watched her do so. She needed this. She needed her wife to see the pain. She didn't realize how much she truly needed it out in the open; just to have someone hear and understand it all.

Brittany looked up finally and gave her a sympathetic look, before turning her attention to the building in front of them. "So what's this place?" She points to the structure. It looked like a cross between a library and a hospital; definitely a lot nicer than Santana anticipated. She expected it to look more like a prison, so she was thankful that she was wrong.

She sighed before facing Brittany again then blinked a few times. "It's a rehabilitation center. Alex suggested I'd go before I told you that I was being sent back. She assumed I was dealing with issues and hiding them; I never told her. So I found this one. It's close enough to Lima incase you would like to visit and I called them already telling them I was checking in today. They have a part of it dedicated to veterans dealing with, I guess what is "post traumatic stress disorder"; assuming that's what I have," she explains, glancing between the building and her wife, who was trying to process all the information.

"So you're leaving again?" Brittany asked sadly, looking down at their hands, then pulling hers out of Santana's grasp, only to have Santana pull it back. Brittany felt the tears starting to fall from her eyes; they fell before she could even stop them.

"No," she simply answers in a mere whisper, stroking her thumb across the blonde's cheek, catching a loose tear. "Don't think of it as leaving. Think of it as, a new start; a new beginning. I need to get better, I mean I've come to the realization that I'm not all there right now and I can't move forward with you and Maya, if I don't get the help I need," she explains as Brittany's tears continue to fall. Santana didn't like the fact that Brittany was getting upset. She could understand why she would be. She technically is leaving, but for a good reason; it's not like its all the way in a different country. She is still in Ohio and only about an hour and half away. She's expecting to get some therapy to deal with her issues in a healthy manner, then leave in like a month; she _expects _anyway.

Brittany nodded, nevertheless she knew in her heart Santana was right. Getting help with her issues was necessary. "When would I be able to visit you?" Brittany asked almost shyly, which Santana didn't understand why, but she didn't protest it.

"I don't know. I assume anytime you want to," she shrugged, before Brittany gave her a sad smile. She wrapped her arms around Santana as the dark haired woman, pulled her closer to her. She was going to miss this. Being in her arms. She _missed _it period; it wasn't like they were doing that, that often.

"I promise to visit you as much as possible," Brittany whispered into her ear, making Santana breathe out slightly as her lips formed a content smile, closing her eyes to enjoy having her wife that close for now. "I'll even bring Maya…if you'd like anyway," Brittany added, as she pulled away from her.

Santana licked her lips as she pondered this. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Maya or anything. It was that she didn't want Maya to see her in this place. Granted it didn't look like a prison, but she didn't know what to expect. Maybe, after a couple of days or a week, she could bring her. At least then she'd know what to expect.

"I would like that. Just give me a few days and I'll tell you when to bring her. Just because I don't want her to be freaked out seeing me in this position. I don't know what to expect right now, so…" her voice trailed off, but Brittany understood what she means and it made sense to her.

They sat there on the bench for a moment longer looking at the place in silence. They both wouldn't let on that they were scared about going in to the large building, but it was either that or be sent back. Santana called the military branch, basically explaining what she's been dealing with. They obviously understood and were willing to fund for treatment, happily so, but they said she had to go, otherwise if she got a notice that she needed to be shipped out again, she couldn't turn it down being that she didn't complete her full four years and take it as if she didn't go into treatment that she was lying and stalling her leave; which is against the law. So many bad things could come up if she declined treatment.

So Santana glanced at her wife and pulled her up off the bench as they began walking to the building and for the first time, Brittany noticed her duffle in tow. She laced her fingers with hers and they walked up the walkway then opened the door. So far there was a desk and a few people walking around in normal clothing.

_That's a good sign, _Santana thought, letting out an uneasy breath as they made their way to the desk. The woman looked up, giving her an instant warm smile.

"Hi…" Santana dragged out before continuing. "I'm Santana Lopez," she introduced herself, causing the woman to nod as if she knew exactly who she was.

"Yes, we've been expecting you. I'm Janice and if you'd just take a seat there is someone who wants to properly introduce himself before we get you entirely checked in," she explained like she's done it a million times, which guessing by the size of this place Santana's guessing she has.

She thanked Janice as Brittany and her took seats in the waiting area, clasping their hands together, then Santana suddenly closed her eyes, cursing under her breath.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asked concerned, before Santana hit her forehead with her other hand, then looked at Brittany.

"I didn't get to say goodbye to Maya," she mumbled, closing her eyes, feeling completely defeated. She felt like such a terrible mom. She always said to herself, when she became a mom she was going to be there for her kid through everything. Watch them grow up big and strong, watch them play sports (if they wanted to play), teach them things; like how to read and what's right from wrong. The simple things that mothers are suppose to teach their kids and she feels like she won't be able to do anything like that because she keeps failing.

"Hey, look at me," Brittany tells her soothingly as the dark haired woman faces her. "It's not goodbye, remember? It's see you later," she whispered, wiping her thumb under the loose tears that were being shed. Santana nodded. Brittany was right; _It's not goodbye, it's see you later, _she thought to herself.

"Santana Lopez," a man calls, coming out of his office as he takes a look at a very thin chart; Santana assumed it was hers. Not much to fill since she just got here, but nevertheless she was surprised she even had a chart. She got up from her seat and filed into his office with her duffle and Brittany in tow, then sat down across from him.

The office was very immaculate and full of stained wood; typical, as his degrees hung, looking flashy on the wall. He sat down in his giant dark leather chair across from them and adjusted his glasses.

"Welcome Ms. Lopez," he states openheartedly with a warm smile.

"Please call me Santana and this is my wife Brittany," she replies politely, gesturing to Brittany next to her as he sticks his hand out to shake both of their hands.

"All right, well very nice to meet you both," he replied, adjusting his self in his chair. "Okay, so I'm going to brief you on the program here. You will be meeting with me fairly often, about twice a week at first and we'll increase the visits as time progresses. You will have a roommate; it will be a female and if you have any problems with her, let us know; don't handle it yourself," he elaborates, making Brittany smirk, then poke her wife's thigh, implying _yeah don't beat the shit out of her_ which Santana totally caught.

"Now do you ladies have any questions?" He asked, causing them to shake their heads, but being that Santana is, well Santana she had to comment on something.

"Has anyone told you that you look like Dr. Drew?" She asked him, making Brittany giggle a little bit and him laugh slightly.

"I have a few times actually," he replied back smiling a toothy grin, making them laugh back, but then they went right back to business. "Anyway, Santana we're almost done, but I need to ask a few basic questions just to get a basic understanding about you," he adds, making her nod. Anything he needed to know was opened for discussion; she had nothing to hide.

"Okay, so tell me basics about yourself," He asks, opening the file getting ready to write the answers down.

"I'm twenty-six, I'm born and raised in Lima Heights adjacent, I've been married to my high school sweetheart for a little over four years, we have a three year old daughter named Maya, and I was deployed for three years in Iraq," she explains to him without hesitation as he carefully writes it all down. He knew that the last part didn't add up in the least bit, so he was very curious to touch base on why she was deployed for so long.

"Okay…" he drifts as he finishes writing down what he needs to then looks up at the couple in front of him with a little smile. "We're almost done, I just need to know is there anything like self-harm related that you've been dealing with?" He asks, folding his hands as she nods awkwardly.

"Um, well I sort of cut, but I wouldn't call it an addiction because I don't feel like I'm addicted to it," she counters back, rubbing her arm gently, feeling a tad uncomfortable. Her scars made her feel exposed, like the whole world knew she was psychotic.

"When did you start?" He asked her curiously as she started biting her bottom lip. Brittany placed a comforting hand on her wife's knee to show she had support; that she's right there.

"About a month ago, but I only did it twice," she stated, exposing her arm, which clearly showed two light scars on her arm. She looked at him pleading that she wouldn't be here for an addiction that she felt she didn't have. He wrote down the information that he just been given then scaled his eyes over her arm, but all he did was nod in understanding.

"Well do you feel a desire to do this often?" He asks his final question, causing her to shake her head distantly.

"No, I mean yesterday I did, but I didn't do it. I threw the blade out," she told him as he nodded, writing the final piece of data.

"All right, here's my case," he begins, stopping for a beat; both women assumed to make sure he had their attention. They liked the way he delivered and carried himself. Santana really believed she'd be in great hands at this place; Brittany thought so subconsciously as well. "I have in your file that you believe you're suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, but I can't diagnose you until I actually have my sessions with you, so I won't go by what's in the file. According to everything you've given me as far as the cutting, I don't know if it's considered an addiction until I speak with you and give you the therapy you need. Throughout our sessions though, you will feel more at ease and even if you do feel those desires to cut now; not saying you do, but if you do, then those desires will slowly begin to dissipate overtime. The more talking you do with me; the more you'll feel better. We'll do different exercises to build your confidence and self worth back up," he educates them of his practice and what they'll expect, making them both smile. Santana felt tears welling up in her eyes; she needed this. She wanted her life back. She wanted the control of it back in order to move past it.

"Trust me Santana…Brittany, you are going to get your life back," he finishes with a big smile; a genuine smile, not one that made her believe he didn't take pride in what he does. "Do you have any questions or concerns?" he asks before wrapping up their meeting. Santana shook her head, but Brittany spoke up, causing the two occupants to get her undivided attention.

"Um when would I be able to see her?" She asked unsure. She was scared of the answer because, what if it was impossible for her to visit? That'd break her heart. Even though deep down she knew that wasn't the case.

"Well it depends. I want to get in a few sessions prior to visitations, just to see where the patient is at, so give me roughly two sessions, which will start tomorrow, and I'll give you a call to let you know that it'll be okay to visit anytime after that," he explained the procedure, making her nod happily. "All right, well if there are anymore questions you may give me a call, otherwise Janice will meet you outside after Brittany leaves, Santana. She needs to look through your belongings, just precaution to make sure you didn't bring any substances and such in the facility. Then she's going to have you do a routine drug test; again just precaution then she'll show you to your room," he explains to the women, getting up from his chair as both women thanked him happily.

They made their ways out of the office as Santana dropped her duffle up at the front, letting Janice know she was just going to walk Brittany out and come back; that she'd stay by the door if she needed to. She really wanted to be as nice as possible and make her stay as easy as can be, so to do that she had to follow the rules.

She walked Brittany out of the building, hand in hand and for the first time she noticed Brittany in tears since they've been in the actual building. Santana has been trying her best to contain her tears, so seeing Brittany's, only made her want to let hers run freely, but she kept them in, trying to remain strong. Immediately once they made it out the door, Brittany wrapped her arms gently around Santana's waist, holding each other close; they didn't want to let go, but they knew this was right.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Brittany whispers into her wife's neck, gently kissing it. She could feel her shiver beneath her fingertips, but she knew Santana wasn't going to pull away; not this time; _not ever again_.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Okay so see you guys can't hate me THAT much right? I lied about there being only three chapters left, because I got more ideas for this story; could be good, could be bad; you'll just have to wait and see. I have a few IMPORTANT things to tell you all, so it's <strong>important<strong> you guys read this and answer to some of the questions I ask: _

_First off, I'm going to be gone for the rest of the summer. I'll be going to New Hampshire, BUT upside I will be able to write, just not as fast because I'll be taking care of my nephew (it's a job I'm getting paid for so it's pretty important). While I'm gone and if there is no update on here, you may check out my story Secrets if you haven't already as well (:  
><em>

_Second off, I am planning on writing a horror/angst story in the near future, but I need to know if you will ACTUALLY read it because I don't want to take my time and write something no one will read. I love horror and I can tell you I can probably write a decent one (it seems I have the angst part down pat). Reasons for wanting to write one is obviously my love for the genre and two because there aren't really any good ones on here yet. So I want to take a "stab" at it. So let me know if you'd like me to do that._

_Third off, if you have a Tumblr; again if you want major updates for this story or any other story I write. I update on my progress like ALL THE TIME. I'll ask for help if I need any there, leave previews and such. I have Twitter as well, but I use Tumblr far more, so if you'd like those links they're in my profile. Also if you haven't checked out the trailer I made for this story its up on Youtube, which my account is ALSO in my profile_.

_I believe that is all. Thank you all for your time and patience and for the amazing reviews. You're all extremely amazing and let me know what you guys think of the chapter and everything I've said in this note. (well only thing you need to let me know stuff on is the 'second off') _

_Sam._


	11. Chapter 11

_New chapter with a new character. I'm sorry this took awhile, I've been tired and actually busy for once (that doesn't happen often haha) anyway enjoy this chapter. (:_**  
><strong>

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions intact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing. **

**Chapter 11**

Santana made her way into her room noticing her suitcase already placed on the far bed, away from the door. She just finished her drug test, which she of course passed with flying colors. She wasn't ever into substance abuse, well except for the occasional drink, which sounded pretty good to her right about now.

She spotted the bedside next to hers, decorated with pictures of a girl; the same girl was in every picture with someone different; she assumed she was her roommate. She was really attractive, Santana thought as she kept looking at them. She spotted one of her holding a little boy in her arms laughing as the little boy clearly was enjoying himself as well. It made her smile at the thought, but she couldn't help but feel upset. She didn't have any pictures like that with Maya; Brittany did, but not her. She knew it was her own fault though.

"That's my son and I," she heard from behind her, causing her to turn around at the voice; startling her a little bit, but she didn't make it noticed. The girl in the picture was standing there confirming her suspicions.

"He's adorable, how old is he?" Santana complimented, making the girl thank her with a smile and reply that he just turned six.

"Do you have any children?" She asked curiously, sitting down on the edge of her bed as Santana sat down on hers.

"I have a daughter. She just turned four," she replied back, making the girl smile again.

"That's nice. I bet she's beautiful, I mean you're nice on the eyes," the girl complimented, making Santana blush slightly. She hasn't heard a comment like that in awhile, even though she knew Brittany thought she was beautiful; it was nice to hear it from someone else for a change.

"Thank you, but I didn't carry her," Santana replied slightly uneasy. She still got a little unnerved when she met new people because she wanted to make a good impression, but at the same time, she didn't want to make them uncomfortable by the fact that she was gay and married to a woman. She didn't like hiding her family because the last time she hid her feelings for the blonde, she almost lost her chance with her.

"Oh okay, well I bet your woman is beautiful too," she replied back with a slight chuckle, making Santana breathe a little easier, assuming the girl didn't care and regardless Santana shouldn't care about this girl's opinion, but unfortunately she did because she is her roommate for the next month or however long she needed to stay here. "I'm Skylar by the way, but you can just call me Sky," she finally introduced herself, holding her hand out for Santana, who gladly took it and introduced herself back. "So what brings you to this lovely place?" She asked with a hint of sarcasm. It wasn't a bad place, but it was definitely not the ideal place to be under the circumstances.

"Um…I'm dealing with some…mental issues, I guess," Santana mumbled shrugging uncomfortably. She didn't have a problem telling Skylar about the reason she was there, it was more that she was ashamed she had to deal with all of this.

"Oh yeah, me too...well that and substance abuse, but I'm dealing. Only way I can keep my girlfriend and my son in my life, otherwise…I'm cut off from them entirely and like hell that's happenin'," Skylar confessed, which Santana knew exactly what she meant.

"Yeah I know what you mean. I was deployed in Iraq and I had some shit happen to me and I came back with all this emotional baggage that I didn't want to unpack to my wife and I just started acting out and I resulted to cutting, it was a mess," Santana finally revealed. She didn't know why, but she felt like she could talk to Skylar. She needed someone here and though Brittany and Alex are great; they weren't there.

"I'm sorry that happened. Though I don't know what happened and I'm not sure I want to know just because I know it's probably difficult to talk about, I want you to know, I've been here for over three months and I feel better already and I feel like for once I'm getting my life back. Just keep your mind focused on your family and everything will work itself out and if you need anyone to talk to, let me know," she gestured making Santana smile in relief, returning the statement that if she needed anything, to let her know as well. She could already tell her stay wasn't going to be so bad after all.

**Sx**

**Bx**

The room was bare aside from two chairs that sat across facing each other, which were occupied by Santana and Dr. Mark "Drew" Framton. He's a very professional guy, but he allowed his patients to call him anything they found comfortable as long as it wasn't a derogatory term, so Santana decided to call him Dr. Drew. It was their first session and she, in a way was excited to get started, just because she knew the quicker she'd get this done she'll be one step closer to going home.

"All right Santana, so I had you answer a few questions yesterday, but we're going to go in depth. If you're not comfortable right off the bat, that's completely fine, but you will need to speak about it soon, so first let's talk about when you first met Brittany and how you got where you are today in this relationship," he explained, looking at her the whole time as she sat comfortably in her chair.

"How is that relevant to anything?" She asked curiously. She's here for something that happened recently not over twenty years ago.

"Well we need to get to the root of your problem, so looking back at the past is a good way to do it," Mark said, which she still didn't understand. She knew that nothing beyond what happened four years ago caused her to feel this way; at least she felt that it didn't.

"There's nothing significant that caused me to be this way in my far past. It's what happened four years ago," she elaborated as he shifted in his seat. She wasn't cooperating and she clearly knew this, but she didn't care. This wasn't what she was here for; to re-hatch the pasted; not that it was a terrible one or anything.

"It's not about what caused you to be in this state, but the past is a significant place to start in order to treat something like what I believe you have," Mark stated looking at her as intently as possible. She knew she wasn't going to get out of this. She knew if she continued "fighting the process" she won't get out soon or even get the visitations, so she finally agreed to herself she'd tell him what he wanted to hear.

"I met Brittany when we were about four and instantly became best friends. Our parents use to say we were attached to the hip; anywhere I was she was next to me and vise versa. They'd have to pry us off one another just so we could go home," she began as he listened.

"When did your friendship turn more into a relationship?" He inquired as he wrote down a few notes, glancing up from the paper watching her with her arms crossed.

"I think it originally started when we were freshman in high school. She gave me my first kiss, but I hardly count that as a relationship, but we never actually started dating exclusively until the middle of senior year. She actually was being left back because she didn't have enough credits. I remember her being so upset because we talked about graduating together and building a future out of Lima; needless to say that didn't happen, but I failed two classes on purpose," she told him truthfully, thinking about the memories. They weren't any major memories, but for some reason, they made her happy. Any memory she has that involves Brittany could make her smile or feel good inside; she just forgot how much.

"Why'd you fail on purpose?" He was curious about the girl's motive for that. He knew she was smart, so why throw away your future like that?

"I wanted to graduate with Brittany. I knew I could've gone to any college I wanted to, but I knew that this was the person I was meant to be with my whole life and if I left for college, I knew I'd lose her. I couldn't bring myself to go anywhere without her," she reasoned as he watched her speak clearly.

"Now how did you approach Brittany and ask for her to be your girlfriend?" Santana wasn't sure why that was necessary to know either, but she didn't protest because that'd be fighting again.

She sighed. "Um…she was dating this guy at the time and I told her I wanted to be with her and I loved her, but she turned me down. At the time, I was dating this guy too and after she turned me down I went back to dating this guy, like nothing happened," she told him, which confused him.

"You weren't openly gay at the time?" She just shook her head. "Did she love the guy she was dating?" he added.

"She said she did, but I don't think she did enough, otherwise she wouldn't be with me," she simply stated as he wrote down more notes then looked back up.

"How did you two finally end up in a relationship?" She hoped this was the last question about this. She really wanted her relationship with Brittany to be off limits, but she knew that'd be too much to ask. In this place, nothing was off limit unfortunately.

"I came out to the Glee Club I was in. Did this speech, apologized to one of our members for the gay slurs, which he forgave me. I needed to show her and the rest of them that I wasn't afraid to show that I was who I was and I was proud of it. In the end, she told me she was proud of me for everything I did and we ended up approaching the dating exclusive thing again and then that was that," she told him awkwardly, trying to bring all the words together in the proper usage.

"All right, now all of this aside, lets talk about when you found out you were being sent to Iraq," he changed the topic, much to Santana's liking. She was sure she wouldn't have liked any of these topics anyway, but she just wanted to know she was getting somewhere.

"Well…I remember that Brittany and I were taking care of Maya, by that time she was only three months, so I got the news during Maya's bath time and I went out to retrieve the mail and saw the notice,"

"And how did you feel when you saw it?" He asked. She sighed and looked down at her folded hands in thought, placing the words into phrases.

"I was in a way excited, but upset. I was excited to know that I'm going to travel and help protect my country, but I was upset knowing I was leaving behind my newborn daughter and my wife, plus there was the thought I wasn't going to ever come back because it happens too often," she explained to him as he wrote little notes down, then looked back up.

"Now explain to me why you were gone for three years. It's not a normal diplomacy, so I'm interested to know about this," he stated, placing the top of the pen cap to his lips, looking deep in thought at the woman.

Santana looked down again. This part killed her and she knew she was going to be asked this because apparently everyone knew that three years was simply just too long. She had secrets that she brought back with her from Iraq and it was time to open those wounds entirely in order to let them heal.

She looked back up at him. "I went through a traumatic experience while deployed that left me physically damaged for a little while. I was very underweight and pale after it all occurred. I was afraid of going home to my family looking so sick. I didn't want to scare Brittany and Maya," she began to cry as he handed her the box of tissues all prepared, knowing this happens a lot. Santana took the tissues graciously and used one for her eyes.

"Did Brittany find out about all of this?" He asked curiously, hoping to get more into the situation; she nodded adding that she even told her why she was gone so long and recalled how angry Brittany was with her that day. He agreed that Brittany had a right to be angry, but at the same time he understood why Santana did it. He can already tell Santana is use to protecting the people around her and she didn't like looking or feeling vulnerable, so any sign of that will make her feel less powerful and lacking the will to protect; he understood perfectly.

As he jotted down more information he decided mentally that he wanted to get more in depth on the trauma in order to receive the closure. He knew that talking about it to Brittany wasn't enough because it was clear Brittany didn't ask questions and try to get to the root in actually helping her, not that he thought she could. Then again, he didn't think you needed a Masters or Ph.D in Psychology to help someone, you just need to have the will and the patience and sometimes it helps not having any relationship with that person, so it makes you unbiased to the whole situation.

"I think we're done for today, but next session I'd like to actually get the story of the traumatic experience as detailed as you can be," he informs her, causing her to sigh heavily but nod nevertheless.

"In all honesty, I'm afraid to do that," she confesses in a mere mumbled tone, barely audible to him.

"Santana, I'm not here to judge you nor will I ever do that, even mentally. In fact, I'm probably one of the most liberal people you'll ever meet. I look at both sides of the situation and that's what it means to be a psychologist," he lets her know soothingly, placing a hand over hers comfortingly.

"I believe you just addressed your political views," she stated nonchalantly, forcing him to let out a deep chuckle.

"Possibly, but just know things will get easier for you and if you don't want to speak about the details right now you don't have to, but you made good progress. It's slow obviously, but it'll pick up. In the meantime, I will see you on Wednesday and if all goes well then I'll inform Brittany she'll be allowed to visit after that," he explains, triggering a smile to appear across her flawless face. She thanked him after that and walked out of the room into the recreational room. She really didn't feel like she was in a crazy house or even a prison like she thought she would, even after seeing the building.

She noticed some people watching television while others sat outside on the balcony smoking cigarettes. She didn't really understand why people were allowed to smoke cigarettes while in a rehab center. It just didn't make sense since you're here to get clean of substances yet cigarettes not only can kill you, but they're just as addicting as drugs; she didn't understand it but she wasn't a smoker anyway, so it shouldn't matter.

She parked herself in front of the television next to Skylar, who was cuddled up on the sofa. She glanced over at the sudden body next to her and smiled.

"How'd your session go?" She asked curiously, glancing back at the screen. Santana simply shrugged.

"What's that?" She added confused, imitating the shrug.

Santana shrugged again. "I don't know. It was alright I suppose, just slow. Dr. Mark said my wife and daughter will be able to start visiting me providing the second session goes well," she broke to Skylar, allowing her face to light up like she just received the greatest present in the world.

"That's awesome for you. I didn't get to see my girlfriend and my son after a three week period of sessions. I assume because I was dealing with some heavy stuff and I was detoxing," she confessed, curling up on the couch.

"Yeah I'm excited to see them, but I still worry about how Maya is going to take it," she wondered, triggering a nod from Skylar.

"I know the feeling when Braden came to see me he kept asking questions 'Mommy why are you here?', 'Mommy why aren't you there to tuck me in at night anymore?', 'I miss you Mommy, why aren't you here to give me this or that?'" she stated as Santana looked at her intently as she said this. She needed to hear her experience just so she can mentally prepare herself for the possible worse.

"It's hard, but you got to tell yourself not to cry in front of them. It was so hard to prevent that from happening. Of course I cried after they left and I went into my room and trust me the last time I cried was when my ex boyfriend told me he was dumping me because I was knocked up by his best friend. It wasn't true though, he just wanted an excuse to back out on his responsibilities. I was so thankful to have Jayden in my life because she's been my rock through everything. She was my best friend and then I don't know one night she felt Braden kick in my stomach and it was the defying moment where we kissed for the first time and everything just seemed to click," she finishes then glances down laughing slightly.

"I'm sorry that was so off topic. I tend to get sidetrack about certain things," she apologizes only to have it waved off by the brunette.

"Don't be, we agreed that we can talk about anything, remember? Besides, I was curious to know about how you and Jayden became what you are now and how you had Braden, so it's okay," she replied, placing her hand on Skylar's shoulder, making her smile softly.

"What's your story with Brittany?" Skylar asked readjusting herself in a more comfortable position. This topic of her wife always made her smile just because of all the events they've overcome to get where they are today, but if she was being examined like Dr. Mark was doing it wasn't a good topic to bring up because she knew there was a chance it could be judged differently, but she feels like their relationship has been such an emotional rollercoaster, even before they started dating. She supposed it was her own fault since they were being physical prior to anything else, but she couldn't help it.

"We've been friends since we were about four and in high school we started a physical relationship, then it came to a halt because she started dating this guy Artie to make me jealous originally, but then she remained with him and sometimes we still got intimate behind his back and then it all stopped and I realized how much I loved her. One thing led to another, I told her how I felt and she blew me off for Artie. I was upset, but it was my fault that she wasn't with me because I panicked the first time; a few times actually. I don't know how she managed to wait for me for so long," she explained to the girl next to her who listened as intently as possible with a smile on her face the whole time.

"It's because she loves you and regardless of the stupid things we do. Love is too powerful to be given up, even if some don't think they deserve all the love in the world," Skylar educates the brunette, who agreed instantly. Santana didn't think she deserved Brittany in the least bit and she never understood why the blonde stayed by her side all this time and now it was simple. Brittany loved her too much to give up on her for anything and that's why their together, because they mutually would do exactly that for one another.

**Sx**

**Bx**

The next morning she went outside on the balcony, shifting back and forth while rubbing her arms comfortably. It was slightly chilly, but not too bad to where it was unbearable. Since she's been here, she's come out here to think and just get away from the chaos and she wasn't going to lie, there was quite a bit of chaos when some patients were either detoxing or they relapse. It made her stay a little less comfortable, but she knew this had to be done. It was what was right for her family.

Behind her she felt the presences of someone behind her. She learned to take in the senses around her and to smell the scent of strawberry and cherry, she knew it had to be Skylar because only she mixed those to scents together like that, but she didn't what to let on that she knew she was behind her, so Santana remained looking ahead.

She felt Skylar move closer to her and then wrap her arms around her waist. Santana tensed up a little bit, not sure what she was doing because they did barely know one another, but she didn't disregard it; she wasn't sure why either.

"Relax," Skylar whispered into her hair that was covering her ear. Her heart began to race and her body was becoming flushed under the other girl's grasp. She wasn't horribly young, but she wasn't the same age as Santana; any girl younger than she was considered a girl to her.

Her breath hitched in her throat at the fingertips running up her arms, sending chills down her spine and goose bumps to arise on her skin. She turned around and came face to face to the girl; blue eyes boring into her face. She licks her lips slowly at the Latina in front of her, then began to laugh slightly, confusing Santana terribly.

"How old are you?" was all Santana could think to ask at this point in time.

"Twenty-four, why?" She replied still laughing, before Santana grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall, almost terrifying the crap out of the other brunette. Santana ran her hands up Skylar's waist and across her stomach, using her fingertips against the flesh, making Skylar's stomach muscles contracting. She lowered her lips down to her neck and ran her nose against the spot beneath her ear, triggering a slight groan from Skylar's lips.

Santana lets out a slight chuckle "You should start acting like it," she whispers into her exposed gauged ear, pulling away and walking back inside, leaving Skylar pinned against the wall in complete and utter shock and maybe even slightly turned on.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana was now curled up in her place on the couch, with no Skylar. She didn't understand why the brunette even decided to do that. She had a girlfriend; maybe she was lonely or sexually frustrated or just super tired and not thinking. It was early, but she didn't know what other reasons it could've been, all she knew was that it was weird to feel that kind of contact again. It wasn't Brittany, but she missed that contact.

Suddenly she noticed frantic walking and then the couch shift, triggering her head to turn to the left of her and she her brown eyes met blue. They were apologetic; she could tell just by the way she was looking at her.

"Okay, so I am so terribly sorry I did that to you. I don't even know what the fuck I was thinking. I was exhausted and maybe even sexually frustrated, it was stupid and I don't want you to hate me or anything," she babbled making Santana place her hand over Skylar's mouth, silencing her instantly.

"It's fine and trust me you're not the only one sexually frustrated," Santana confessed, taking her hand off the girl's mouth who was giggling slightly. She was sure over the sexually frustrated part, but she didn't want to let on that she knew.

"Still though, I feel terrible. I mean you're married and I am taken. We have great women and I was just being stupid," she continued making Santana smirk and shake her head.

"If you don't stop I may have to kiss you," Santana joked, causing Skylar to stop in mid sentence, with eyes wide, making Santana bust in a fit of laughter. "Your face is too priceless," she added in between laughs, causing Skylar to push her shoulder then bust in her own fits of laughs.

After the laughter died down it was like everything that happed that morning was long forgotten, until Santana began to think. It was a crazy thought, but she knew Skylar would do it.

"Hey can you do me a favor though?" Santana inquired as Skylar continued to smile in her direction.

"Yeah of course anything," Santana took a deep breath. This really was a stupid thing, but she thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"What you did this morning, do you think you could keep doing it randomly?" She suggested causing Skylar's eyes to widen. Apart of her thought the Latina was joking and she searched her face for any signs, only to find none.

"Are you serious?" Santana nodded only to have Skylar ask why, which she knew was coming. Plus it was only fair, she was asking a girl to make little intimate gestures at her and she wasn't even _her girl_.

"I have a hard time being intimate after what happened to me and I need to get that feeling back. I had no problems before. I swear I haven't had sex and actually felt myself enjoying it since I've been back except maybe once," Skylar knew that Santana's been home for a little under a year or so and to not enjoy sex including being away and not having sex for three years; all of that added up its no wonder she's so sexually frustrated, but she agreed she'd do it, but not actually physically kiss her or anything. She knew it was a crazy thought too, but she wanted to help her and if this is what she wanted then so be it, besides she wasn't cheating on Jayden; they won't be kissing or having sex.

"Santana, you have a phone call," she turned around and saw Janice with the phone in her hand at the desk, so she got up with a pat of Skylar's knee and walked over to the phone. She parked on the seat with a huff and Janice connected it over to where she was seated.

She sat there on the phone with this person, until her mind just went blank from the information that was just given to her. The phone went loose and her whole body went numb and full of shakes. All she could do or say was.

"What?"

* * *

><p><em>Cliffhanger needed to be done haha what do you think happened? Anyway, thank you for the reviews, I appreciate them and they make me happy. Follow me on Tumblr and Twitter if you haven't already for updates on my writing ventures and where I'm at with this story. Both links are in my profile, you may ask me anything on there; nothing is off limits. In the meantime, review and let me know what you think. Love you guys (:<em>


	12. Chapter 12

_Warning: More drama this chapter. I'll write another author's note at the end. Enjoy (:_**  
><strong>

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions intact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing.**

**Chapter 12**

Stomach knotted. Skin heated up. Unable to control the shaking and tears forming on the rims of her eyes. She held the phone firmly in her hand, leaning over on her knees as her elbows rested on them; it was uncomfortable, but she didn't care.

"When?" her voice cracked to the other end of the line as the other person replied to her. Her heart was breaking. She couldn't win; she really couldn't. She was making some progress even for the time she was there, but then this happens and its like the world was against her.

She hung up the phone then held her face in her hands, letting the tears fall as they may. She didn't care that people were probably looking at her; she just needed to let it out. Her mind was in a haze and all she wanted to do was break something. She looked up and there was so much she could turn into pieces, but she couldn't. She gulped down a sob and got up, walking into hers and Skylar's room, leaving the door slightly cracked open, before ramming her fist into the wall.

It hurt, but she didn't care as she hit the wall again and again. The door opened as she swung for the fourth time, using the same hand only to have it grabbed, spinning her around. She went to hit the person who grabbed it, only to have it blocked. Skylar grabbed her as Santana tried to fight her off.

"Let go of me!" she yelled as Skylar shut the door with her back and pulled her on the bed, sitting on top of her with Santana's hands over her head.

"You need to calm down," she tells her as Santana struggled against her. Santana was bigger than her and no doubt stronger, so using her entire weight to keep Santana restrained was a must.

Santana continued to struggle grunting and groaning until she finally gave up and began crying. This confused Skylar. She knew she had a phone call, but she didn't know what it was about. She just came from her own session with Dr. Mark and heard banging, so when she saw her punching the wall she had to stop her, plus it was her wall as much as it is Santana's; she didn't want so many holes in it.

"What happened?" Skylar asked as Santana calmed down, pulling herself off the brunette, sitting next to her. Santana propped herself up on her elbows, focusing her eyes on a random spot on the floor.

"When doesn't something happen," Santana stated numbly, definitely not questioning it. Skylar grabbed her face to turn it to hers; blue meeting brown. Santana felt like she was looking at Brittany's and if Skylar's hair was blonde and she didn't have gauges she probably would've thought she was looking at her wife.

"What happened?" Skylar repeated this time more direct and comfortingly. Santana gulped and looked down, not being able to move her face, but the tears started forming in her eyes again.

"My friend died yesterday. They said she fell into a trap with a few others and were gunned down," she cried causing Skylar to look at her with sad apologetic eyes. She never seen Santana so broken up. She knew how tough she was on the exterior and she hasn't seen her truly vulnerable before, so this was all so new to her.

Skylar wrapped her arm around her in a friendly way as Santana broke down and cried. She knew this wasn't her place to be the one to do this. Santana needed her wife and the whole intimate thing; she never liked the idea to begin with. She only agreed because Santana seemed so desperate, but now she believes that doing that would only hurt her and mess her up.

"I'll be right back," she whispered to her as Santana only spilled little tears and not choked out sobs.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana fell asleep after what felt like days of crying. She wasn't in her bed, but Skylar's just because that was the bed they were on when Skylar grabbed her to calm her down. She looked so relaxed and so out of pain when she felt the bed shift and arms wrap around her. She didn't flinch or move as the extra weight placed light kisses on her temple and head, pulling her closer to them.

She turned over at the movements and her eyes widened when she saw who it was. She pulled them closer and kissed them deeply on the lips, both letting tears form in their eyes. Santana wrapped her legs around their waist, just to make sure they remained as close to her as possible.

Santana pulled away, stroking the blonde hair from the woman's face, blue meeting brown. "What are you doing here?" Santana asked, not that she wasn't happy that her wife was next to her.

Brittany just smiled and kissed her again. "Dr. Framton called and said I needed to come visit you. Apparently your roommate explained a few things to him and that was that," she explained; Santana mentally thanked Skylar for that. "So what's going on?" She inquired, rubbing circles on her back, with her head propped up on her hand.

"Alex was killed in an ambush with some others," she confessed as Brittany's lips turned into a straight line. She knew how much Alex meant to her wife and even though she never met her, she meant a lot to her too. She took care of Santana when she was in Iraq and even after she left. She was important and for her life to be taken away like that is heartbreaking, especially when she had her own family.

"I'm so sorry babe. I know how much she means to you," Brittany told her, stroking her cheek, then pulled her hand up her lips and kissed it. Her knuckles are bruised from hitting the wall, plus the wall she hit in their room earlier that week. Brittany wanted Santana back; she was only gone for not even a week and she missed her terribly.

"It sucks. She didn't deserve this. Maybe if I went with her…" Brittany cut her off instantly when those words escaped her lips.

"You'd be dead too. There's nothing you could have done, so don't blame yourself or think that you could've changed it. All that would've changed was the death toll," Brittany told her, looking her straight in the eyes the whole time, hoping she could make her understand.

"Then why does it feel like I could have changed it?" She whispers almost desperately as her voice slightly cracked when emotion built up in her again.

"Because," Brittany began, adjusting herself to be more comfortable, then continued to look at her wife. "Because its what you want. You want to change what happened so badly and I get that; believe me I do, but no matter whether you were there; she would still be gone and possibly so would you," Santana's bottom lip trembled as she listened to Brittany's words. It's amazing how wise she's gotten since they've been out of high school.

Santana curled up into her wife's arms, placing her head in the crook of her neck, kissing it ever so gently and that's when she knew everything would be okay with them. Santana was being vulnerable. She felt numb and her heart was breaking even more than she ever thought possible, but she was showing her the side she missed and needed to see. The side that showed that she wasn't always needing to be tough or afraid to show some form of weakness. She was being human and that's all Brittany wanted.

"I love you baby," Brittany whispered to her, only wanting her to hear those words over and over.

"I love you too," she felt Santana's lips reply into the flesh of her skin, causing chills to arise through her spine. This whole moment was necessary and maybe because Dr. Mark allowed her to come, maybe this means she has her visitations, perhaps she should ask.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana sat in her fourth session with "Dr. Drew", which marks that she's been there for a little over a week. After Brittany came he confirmed that she'd have to wait until their next sessions, just to be safe, but he was thankful for her coming down, which was obvious he didn't need to thank her. Santana was still grieving the loss of Alex, but it's to be expected when it happened recently. On a good note, Santana was making progress and talking about how her death was effecting her rather than her experience in Iraq, which gave her a little bit more time to deal with actually having to speak about it, but through all of this Brittany was able to have her complete visitations providing she let the front desk know she was coming and what time she'd be there.

"So Santana how are you doing today?" Mark asked, not bothering to take his notebook out at this point in time, just because it was a simple question he wanted answered; small talk to be exact.

"I'm doing better. I still have a hard time believing she's gone, but I know she'd want me to finish this. She's the one who actually pushed me to go get help, so now I'm just keeping her as some of my motivation to succeed aside from my family," she elaborated, making him smile slightly and nod his head along with every word she spoke.

"That's great, but do it for yourself too. You deserve to make yourself happy again and I've noticed a good change in you since Brittany came that day, so it's a really good step in the right direction. You need support and you clearly have that support system," he agreed, finally taking his notebook out with her file next to him. It was slowly becoming thicker and probably faster than most patients, possibly because she was being an "open book".

"Now let's talk about what happened when you were in Iraq that first year," Of course Santana knew this subject was going to be addressed because this was the root of her madness; the seed or catalyst if you will. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it, but she couldn't help but feel almost obligated to.

With a few deep breaths to calm her undying nerves and intense heartbeats, she began her story. "I was assigned to do basically a suicide mission with some of my platoon. Turns out they were waiting for us as well and there was a big brawl, I was grabbed and taken prisoner for the rest of the time," she spoke those words slowly as if she was making sure he understood every little bit.

"What happened in that time you were a prisoner of war?" He asked her, faltering a little bit, but it went unnoticed to her since her eyes were adverted to her lap. He needed to be unbiased, but it didn't mean he couldn't have feelings.

She sighed heavily. All those memories returning in an instant. It was like they could never be erased no matter how much she tried and to be basically forced to speak of these occurrences, is like telling her to never forget.

"I was raped sometimes by one or multiple men at a time, beaten…sodomized, barely given a chance to eat or drink. I was forced to stay in a cell nude the whole time, going to the bathroom wherever and when I got smelly, they'd throw cold buckets of water at me and just leave me there, things like that. No big deal right?" She said with such sarcasm and distaste dripping from every word. "Now if we're done here," she adds, getting up having enough.

"No Santana we're not," he says gesturing with his hand.

"Dr. Drew, you need to understand something. I hate that part of my life and I just want to forget it, but every time I get even a little bit closer to forgetting it, someone brings it back up and I'm fucked. All I want to do is shoot myself in the fucking head so I never have to wake up to relive that nightmare," she explains standing over him as he sits up, placing her papers on the side and gets up to her level, towering over her by two inches or so.

"I may not understand what you went through, but I've had several patients feel the way you do right now. There's memories that harbor your insides, tearing you apart and all you want to do is get rid of them, but I can't do that for you. What I can do is help you not dwell on it and not let it control your well being, so when you think back on it some days, you don't lash out on people you love or who are trying to help and so you don't feel like killing yourself," he elaborates to her calmly as she looks down at her feet. She was becoming more at ease when his words sunk in. She knew she'd never forget what happened, but she did know that she wanted to control her anger on the situation. It's what brought Brittany to feel like she needed to divorce her if she didn't get help. She needed it; she knew it.

_Stop fighting the fucking process_, she thought to herself, sitting back down on the chair slowly as did he when he noticed her actions.

"Now let's continue shall we?" he asked placing the papers back in his lap, looking up at her with a small smile and with a distant nod from Santana, they continued their session.

**Sx **

**Bx**

Santana walked down the hall frantically after Janice told her she had a visitor; she hoped it was Brittany with Maya or even her alone; not Maya alone because that make her feel like an even worse parent that her daughter at four came to see her alone, but that's completely beside the point.

She walked down to an area with tables and chairs set up, like they do in some prisons and saw a man, probably not much older than her. He was alone in the room; guess not many people visit on Wednesdays.

She walked closer more slowly when the man looked up and smiled warmly. He met her halfway and introduced himself. "Hello, I'm Antonio Ramirez, Alex's husband. The military told me I could find you here, so I decided to pay you a visit," he states, gesturing for her to take a seat, which she does as he returns to his, crossing his hands.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," was all she could think to say in this moment as he stared blankly at the white specs on the table.

"It's alright. I'm sorry for yours as well. I know you two were very close when you were deployed," he replies with his brown eyes visibly full of sadness; Santana could tell, but she thought he could probably see the sadness in hers as well. "You know this was going to be her last call. She was going to put in her resignation right after," he added shocking Santana a little bit. Santana knew Alex loved her job for the simple aspects of fighting for what's right and helping others, but she hated being away from her family; suppose that's why she was going to place in her notice.

"I didn't know that," she commented quietly with her arms crossed and leaned downward in her chair with her legs spread apart comfortably.

"Anyway, that's not why I'm here. I promised her I'd visit you to see your condition and how well you're doing when she called me the first night she was out there," he began, looking up at her; brown meeting brown like it was a battle to the death. She held her arms out wide, making him laugh slightly. "Well you're alive that's what's important. I can even tell from just meeting you that you're not fully okay, but I know you'll get there," he adds triggering a glance down from Santana, who nodded slightly.

"Also the military sent her things back with her body and there was a few letters and one was addressed to you, so I brought that for you. You don't have to read it now; do it at your own time," he slides the letter in front of her that had Santana's name written across the front. She hesitantly grabbed it like it was going to burst in flames as soon as her fingertips grazed the paper.

She thanked him as he just returned a nod. "I really hope you stick with this. Alex was very passionate about you, like she wanted to protect you. I don't know what happened out there and frankly I don't want to know because I'm almost positive it was difficult, but she really stressed how badly she wanted you to get help for yourself and your family, so if you don't do it for you, just remember the people who believed in you and that need you right now," he stressed heavily to her information she already knew. It was already setting in for her, but she wasn't sure if those words were going to ever be enough, no matter how many times she's heard it.

"I'll try my best," she said nonchalantly allowing Antonio to just accept that with a nod. He hoped she wouldn't do something stupid; desperately so. Even though he just met her, Santana meant a lot to his wife. Santana needed to find her way back.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana sat in the completely filled bath, deep in thought staring at the metal faucet that the water spilled out of just moments earlier. She didn't know what to do. She felt incredibly stressed out and overwhelmed by all of this. Now it began to feel real, especially after her session today. All of those things happened to her and she for once had to deal with them openly and in a healthier manner.

She knew she had to get better for her family, but how can she be sure that was enough? She needed a sign to know that everything was going to be alright. That even through Alex's death, she was going to be okay and her family was going to still love her the same. Her friends won't find her completely insane; she was sure they knew where she was, not that she cared or anything.

She ducked her head down in the water creating a mass of bubbles around her head. Eyes closed, holding her breath for ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty seconds. After a minute and half she was losing oxygen, but she never dared to lift her head back over the surface.

**Sx**

**Bx**

It was bedtime for all the patients as Skylar made her way to hers and Santana's room. She was exhausted with her support group and psychology session today. It was productive, but she knew she was making headway. She was honestly proud of herself.

She turned the corner at Room 11 and passed the bathroom to where the beds were located. Santana's bed was perfectly made and if anyone else was in here they'd consider that normal, but for Skylar it wasn't. Santana told her she was going to take a bath a little over an hour ago and now she's nowhere to be seen.

_Maybe she's still taking her bath_, she thought shrugging, but just to be sure knocking on the door. "Santana? Are you okay in there?" She asked from the other side of the door. Silence. She knocked once more, only to receive the same reply. Nothing.

The door was required to be unlocked by the staff, so she opened the door and peek in at the heated room. She then glanced down at the tub and she had half a mind to scream, but she couldn't.

She ran over to the tub and grabbed Santana out from under the water. "Santana? Santana wake up!" she semi yelled, holding her naked body to her shaking her slightly. "Santana!" this time yelling an octave louder. She pulled her completely out of the tub and rested her on the tile floor before doing chest compressions and sending air into her airway.

"Santana God damn it! Wake up!" She yelled once more continuing the CPR, only to yell for help…

"_Somebody help! Help please!"_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Okay so you guys again probably hate me. I think I should be dubbed Queen of Cliffhangers because I do so many of them. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story thus far, but I think it'll be ending in two chapters then like add an epilogue, just because I don't want to depress you guys much longer :( . A few things, one I apologize for the mistakes I made in the last chapter. That's what I get for writing exhausted, but yeah I fixed them. They weren't major mistakes, but they were pointed out to me and I fixed them; it won't effect the story either way if you went back to check it out. Another thing is I've mentioned before, but I have a Tumblr, you guys should check it out because I like getting messages there and if you want updates on this story and future stories then you should follow it. (I created a post that I was making another cliffhanger and if you were following me you'd know I warned you...mhmm ;) ). So yeah that link is in my profile as is my new Youtube which has the video trailer I made for this story on it; I got my other account disabled because of copyright stuff weighing it from past videos and because of a recent one (not the trailer). So to end this long author's note thank you for all the reviews so much and I'll try to update soon, in the meantime review and check out the links.  
><em>


	13. Chapter 13

_REWRITTEN! I'll write a better Author's Note at the end._**  
><strong>

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions intact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing.**

**Chapter 13**

The sun shown brightly into the window of the completely white room; same routine for the last three days. Some flowers were set neatly on the table across from the bed that held the tan woman, who didn't stir since she's been emitted. She looked serene in form, but no signs of moving anytime soon.

Next to her, holding her hand could only be visible by the mop of blonde hair that laid scattered over the tan arm. She's been there for three days, not leaving her side once. Complete silence filled the air and the only thing that could be heard was the breathing of both women.

Santana's foot gently flinched as her eyes slowly, but tiredly opened, scaling the room in unnoticeable confusion until her eyes rested on the form sleeping in the chair. She slowly pulled her hand out of her grasp and gently stroked the blonde hair, causing Brittany to instantly lift her head just as tiredly. She had visible dark circles under her eyes, but they were still as sparkling as ever.

Brittany started tearing up and got up off her chair next to Santana's bedside and kissed her repeatedly on the lips, but Santana didn't return it right away. Brittany pulled away looking at Santana before resting her hand on her cheek, stroking it gently.

"Where…?" Santana tried to speak, but her voice was barely audible from the lack of fluids. Brittany grabbed the tiny water jug and poured her a cup, letting Santana take sips of it before she could speak again. "Where am I?" She finally was able to say.

"You're at the hospital. You're under suicide watch," Brittany told her, looking down sadly which confused Santana more. The only thing she remembered was taking a bath and dunking her head under so she could get her hair wet, but everything else was a blur. She was trying hard to deny it in her head that she wouldn't have done that. That she wouldn't have risked everything just because her life was falling apart at the seems, but she couldn't. She knew what she did and denying it to her wife when they're trying to rebuild was just not happening.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered looking ashamedly down at her hands in her lap, causing Brittany to sigh heavily. She hoped it wasn't going to be true. She hoped that Santana wasn't going to get to this point, but she couldn't take it anymore.

"Why? Why would you do this?" Brittany asked her as tears welled up in her eyes, but Santana didn't look up. "Santana look at me," she demanded as Santana finally looked up at her wife. Brittany looked disappointed in her and she didn't blame her in the least bit. She was disappointed in herself.

What could she say to her? Things were getting harder. After finding out about Alex's death that was her breaking point. She didn't want to deal with anymore heartbreak, so she wanted to end it. Looking back at it now, she felt stupid.

Santana shrugged, shaking her head slowly. "I was stupid. I felt lost and hopeless after Alex's death. I mean, I just can't win. It's like someone is telling me that I'm not meant to get better because it keeps setting up obstacles and it only makes it worse knowing someone who was a big part of my life was taken away. Call it my breaking point," she truthfully told the blonde, who looked down slightly defeated.

Brittany knew she wasn't capable of "saving" Santana, but she desperately wanted to try. She didn't know what else to do, but she looked on the bright side, Santana thought what she did was stupid and she was right.

"You need to get better Santana. This isn't the end and you just got to keep staying strong. Look at everyone around you here to support you," Brittany started, getting up from her seat and heading to the flowers and cards on the table close to the window beginning to read them off. "Quinn and Rachel, Puck and Lauren, Sam and Mercedes, Kurt and Blaine even. They live in New York and they managed to send you something. We're all here for you, so don't think you're alone in this," she pleaded and that's all she could do was plead to her that everything will be okay, providing she stuck by what she went into the rehab to do.

Santana remained silent as Brittany spoke and there it was again; that defeated feeling in the pit of Brittany's stomach. She let out a huff and walked around the beside to the door and walked out of the room.

She wasn't sure where she was going, but she needed to get away. This was becoming way too much; far more than she intended, but she didn't want it to end. She loved Santana, she just wanted her old Santana back. She missed her desperately.

"Brittany?" she turned around and saw Mark walking up to her, causing her to stop and cross her arms on her chest, moving around almost impatiently.

"She's awake. You can see her if you want or whatever," she waved off. It wasn't like she didn't care that Santana was awake, but she was more so upset with her for allowing herself to get to that point, but it didn't change the fact that she loved her. She just wanted to walk away for a little bit and get some air or something; she didn't know, so she turned on her heel but was stopped.

"Hey Brittany," Mark placed a hand upon her shoulder concerned. "Are you alright?" he asked, causing her to stop and shake her head, fighting back the tears. "I promise you, she will get better. She's had a lot to deal with these past couple weeks and years, but she was making progress. Though she took a huge step back, we can get her back in the right direction and I'm positive on that. Just keep having faith in her," he assures her, causing her to look up at him.

"How can I have faith in her when she doesn't have faith in herself?" She asked him hopeful of an answer.

He smiled at her a small grin then sighed. "She lost her faith, but if she sees how if she just overcomes the bad, her faith will soon restore overtime. Just keep your own because that's a big contribution as well," he persuades, making her nod in thought. He was right. She needed to believe that Santana will overcome her demons and Santana needed to believe it's possible to do the same. Not everyone will be taken away from her and Brittany was going to show her just that.

He patted her shoulder before turning on his heel to Santana's room as Brittany walked to the cafeteria, hoping she could get something good to eat, which would be virtually impossible since hospital cafeteria food was pretty disgusting.

**Sx**

**Bx **

Mark turned into Room 4 and saw Santana sitting up in her bed, staring up at the blank television. He glanced between the screen and the woman, not really sure what to say right away, so he just grabbed one of the chairs and took a seat, waiting for her to acknowledge his existence, which didn't take long.

"You probably don't want to treat me anymore, right?" She mumbled, making side glances over at him.

"On the contrary, I think you need me more than ever now. What happened Santana? You were doing so well," he asked, not really planning to do a session here, but it was a good time as any to get started. He wasn't really sure when they would let her leave since she was knocked out for three days.

"I already told Brittany. I hit my breaking point, that's all," she brushed it off, causing him to sigh and lean forward unprofessionally, but more like a friend would.

"I'm not asking Brittany and the reason for that is because this isn't about her. This is about you and you took a numerous step back by trying to commit suicide. The only way we can get past this is to figure out what triggered it," he explained causing her to huff in anger.

"You don't think I know that? Jeez Drew, look at me. I'm not meant to get better; I'm damaged! I can't deal with the constant left and right heartbreak and the constant nightmares! It's killing me inside. I can't handle another person to either leave or die in my life that I care about," she yelled, but he didn't falter. She wasn't nearly as scary as she thought she was to him. He deals with scarier people and scarier emotions than that; she isn't terrifying anybody with that; except for maybe Brittany.

"This is good yell it out, but are you aware that no one else is leaving you? Brittany isn't going anywhere, your daughter isn't going anywhere, Skylar isn't going anywhere, your friends back home aren't going anywhere and I'm not going anywhere. You are going to get through this you just need to believe you will. Stop fighting the process if you're feeling overwhelmed; come to me. I can help you and I will not stop helping you till you are back to the best you that you can be," he preaches to her as she breathed in and out heavily to control her emotions. She licked her lips and looked in his direction. He was giving her a hard caring stare through his glasses. He really thought he was capable of curing her. He had a challenge ahead of him that was for sure, but she couldn't fight anymore. She didn't die for a reason; maybe that reason was because she was meant to live for her family and friends.

She nodded like she talked herself into it. "Okay, but can you tell me what happened?" She asked him curiously. She just wanted to remember and find out who found her, hoping it wasn't him because for some strange reason she would feel weird knowing that he saw her naked since all she remembered was being in the bathtub and dunking her head under the water.

He licked his lips and shook his head distantly. "Um…Skylar said you were in the bathtub for a few hours and she went to check on you when it was time for bed and she said she found you under water and pulled you out of the tub giving you CPR and such, then called for help and that was it," he summarized causing her to just nod. She would have to thank Skylar for pulling her out then.

She was beginning to realize that suicide would've just been the easy way out and it wasn't the smartest thing to do. She knew that now; call it a lapse of judgment on her part.

"When you get released we're starting our sessions right away and I'm upping the amount to four a week. We need as much sessions as we can get. I'd like to get you back to where you were and then keep making positive strides," he lets her know the plan for the future of her stay at the rehab. All she could do is nod in understanding, so he got up and patted her knee in a genuine way and walked out of the room, giving her a chance to process everything.

**Sx **

**Bx**

Brittany finally came back to Santana's room and almost fearfully walked in to see Santana look instantly in her direction. She didn't look away; she just stared at her wife who looked back at her with the same determined look. After awhile, Santana patted the spot next to her and Brittany slowly made her way next to the other woman, hopping up on the spot she instructed her to sit in.

"We need to talk," Santana stated a little bit more openly than earlier. After her talk with Mark and being able to think about everything that was said she knew that she needed to level with Brittany and show her where her head was at and what the stance of what was going to happen to her and just their relationship in general.

"I'm still going to get help. I've realized that my actions in the past and what I did wasn't the brightest move. I realize that I can't run away from my problems; that I have to face them head on. Suicide is an easy way out from this and I don't want to die. I know that now. I know that I'm meant to get better one way or another and I realize now that I have so many people to back me up when things become difficult. I'm better than this and I need to find that better me again, otherwise I lose everything," Santana explained, not shedding a tear. She knew she needed to be strong and passionate with her words. She didn't feel the need to break down in front of Brittany because it wasn't the time to.

Brittany didn't shed a single tear either, mostly because she didn't have anymore left to shed. She was elated to know that Santana realized her mistake and knew she needed to take the necessary actions to become a better her. She missed her old self as much as Brittany missed her. She knew it was going to take a lot of work, but they had faith in Mark and now the reformed faith in Santana that she was going to do this. She wasn't going to give up. Brittany wasn't going to lie though, she doubted it. She doubted that Santana was going to stick with it and learn to control her demons without having the constant nag of them to fuel any emotions she was feeling. She worried far too much about the woman and she really hoped; even prayed that Santana wasn't going to fallback again.

"I need you to just tell me everything will be okay," Brittany simply stated to Santana looking deep into her eyes. Santana gave her a reassuring smile and kissed her temple.

"Everything will be okay," she told her what she wanted to hear, but she hoped that it wasn't just that. She hoped there was truth behind those words. All they needed was a month or two of pure positivity to show that life will get better and all their hopes were answered. Simply said, all it took was time and patience.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: A few things, first off, I'd like to apologize for my terrible original chapter 13. It really was a left field thing and mentally I thought about what I put into it and mentally told myself that it sounded ridiculous, but I still wrote it. I don't know what I was thinking really and I truly apologize for that. Another thing, as I mentioned this chapter is still the last chapter. I realize even more so now that it needs to end just because if my mind is going to come up with left field drama like it just did, then something is wrong here. So with that, an epilogue will be written soon and it'll probably be chapter length because I have a lot I want to write in it without making it just a regular chapter. Also, I posted on my Tumblr that my internet was messed up and needless to say, I fixed it because I'm tech savy like that, no but really it's fine now and I couldn't be happier. Also, I mentioned in the author's note about reviews. I'm not going to beg or anything, but I do appreciate reviews because if I didn't get the one from <strong>elle<strong> and my private message from **Drew** I probably would have left the last chapter as is, so I genuinely appreciate their constructive criticism because that's what I needed.  
><em>

_ In other news, I posted a new video trailer on my Youtube for a story I am creating after this. I've mentioned the story a few times in my end notes and such and now it's finally here. It is a horror story, but I can assure you I'll be writing it well. I know there are a few on here, but they're not really that well written, but I'm a major horror buff, so I think I have the potential to create a good one. It won't be overly predictable, it will have Brittana and though the trailer has zombies in it; it's **NOT** exactly a zombie apocalypse; basically the creatures/"goons" are going to be a cross between a zombie and a vampire; it's brain will be dead except for it's function to move, but it'll move like a human, will be pale skinned and have black eyes, which is where the vampire part will come in. It's already outlined and ready to go, but that's all I can tell you about it._

_I also failed to mention though that I have another story in the works about Santana being in jail and Brittany being a prison guard in the prison that Santana is in. I'll give you more info when it comes time to post it.  
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_Again, I have a **Tumblr** and I update a lot on there, so if you want to get in touch with me, I'll answer quickly. I have a Twitter, but I prefer Tumblr, so go there instead. Anyway that's all and thank you to those who have reviewed and continue to. Thank you all for being so patient with me with my "all over the place" drama and it won't happen again. I'll check back later with the epilogue. In the meantime, review and let me know what you think about this **REAL** chapter and what you think about the two other story ideas. I know some are skeptical about the horror fic, but I always wanted to write one and I decided to finally take on the challenge. :)  
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	14. Epilogue

**Superman**

Summary: Santana and Brittany are happily married and have a beautiful three year old daughter together, only problem is, Santana has been deployed in the Middle East. With both women struggling to keep their emotions intact, will the struggle become too much for both of them or will they make it through the hardships, in time for Santana to come home; whenever that is.

**Disclaimer: Do not own show, story idea, or characters. Just the writing.**

**Epilogue **

It's been six months since Santana entered rehab. Six months since she discovered one of her best friend's died in combat. Six months since she tried to end her life. Now Santana sat clad in a tight fitted dress, much like the green one she wore in New York for Nationals in a comfy white chair while Mark sat across from her with a warm smile across his face.

"So Santana, last session, how do you feel?" He asked her while her file laid perfectly on his lap. She looked down in thought then began to smile and began to nod like she was talking to herself.

"I feel…amazing," she stuttered unable to find a better word. She lost that anger and resentment towards her past and to herself. She still grieved for the loss of Alex, but she knew that her death wasn't something that defined her. She wouldn't say she was completely cured, but she definitely felt that she was well enough to return home to her family.

"I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I truly feel like I'm getting myself back," she told him truthfully making him smile wider, writing down some notes.

"How is your intimacy levels? Do you feel like you can be touched without being scared?" He asked curiously. Overtime, Mark and Santana got down in depth to every root of her problems. From the past when she was prisoner of war to when she got home and she couldn't seem to feel comfortable being intimate with her wife; nothing became off limits during their sessions and that's what Santana needed. She needed someone to be willing to get into the root of every problem, no matter how angry she was.

"I don't know. I guess, I'll find out when I leave," she uttered, looking down at her hands that were placed neatly in her lap.

He nodded then got up and made his way around the chair, towards the door to open it. She could faintly hear him say something, then usher in someone. She turned around and saw Brittany walking in with a big toothy grin, causing Santana to lift herself up instantly walking over to her wife and hugging her tightly.

"Please Brittany take a seat," he instructs her as Santana grabs her hand and leads her to the chair next to hers, which she gladly takes. "So how does she look?" He asked her with a smile, causing Brittany to look over in Santana's direction with adoration.

She couldn't shake the smile from her lips. "She looks beautiful like always, but now she looks like she has so much life in her face and that's the most breath taking part about her," she stated, looking at Santana the whole time, causing the woman to blush slightly, adverting her eyes to hide it.

"I agree she looks a lot better. Smiling and definitely not hurting anymore. Santana allowed me to bring you in here, so I can discuss with you where her treatment stands. Basically, we got down to the nitty gritty of every problem she was facing, even down to the intimacy part," he began to explain, causing her to turn a shade of deep red, making him laugh slightly.

"Do not worry, we didn't get in grave detail about all that you two do. I just mean how she felt uncomfortable being touched in a sexual way. Now we don't know if that's changed, so either it hasn't changed or she will grow to become more comfortable, but that's not the main details we've spoken about," he added, waving his hand away at the end, stopping for a beat to continue only seconds later.

"Basically, we've talked about her feelings about being held captive, her other time spent in Iraq, her good friend's death and all of that building up to her suicide attempt. After she made the attempt and was released back into my custody, we upped the sessions to four a week, which is why she's done being treated in my care. To be honest, do I think she's completely healed? No because sometimes these wounds do not heal, but do I think she'll let it define her anymore? Absolutely not. I think she's capable of walking down the streets of your hometown, looking around at the passers like it never happened and for that, that's why I'm releasing her today. She's come a long way in these last six months and it was needed," he went in depth to Brittany as she sat there listening as intently as possible. She finally looked over at Santana, who immediately looked in Brittany's direction returning the same gaze; Brittany got her old Santana back and she missed her desperately.

"So if you're packed and ready, I'd like to send you on your way," he says, getting up as the two women follow in suit. He shook Brittany's hand as Santana brought him into a hug, thanking him from the bottom of her heart. She even promised to call him on a little update on how her life is doing at home.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Santana and Brittany were on their way home, hand in hand in the car, when Santana pulled over on the side of the road, confusing Brittany. Santana got out of the car, which confused Brittany even more. She soon followed in suit, afraid that Santana was going to hurt herself or something. Santana slowly made her way through a gate across the way as Brittany ran to catch up to her, which she couldn't believe she had to run after her since Santana was the one in the tight dress; secretly Brittany had a little something in store for her later on that night; she just hoped she wouldn't reject it.

"Santana! Where are we going?" She yelled as Santana stopped in front of a headstone, causing Brittany to come to the realization that they were in a cemetery. Brittany got closer and saw the engraved letters on the stone.

_Alexandria Carmen Ramirez _

_Loving Wife, Mother, Daughter and Friend_

_3-14-91 - 7-8-21_

Santana kneeled down with a little bit of difficulty as Brittany stood a little bit away from her, watching her pay her respects. Santana touched the stone, tracing the letters with her fingertips as tears slowly welled up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I took so long, but I imagine you'd understand my reason; you were always pretty understanding," she said softly, looking down at the ground for a moment. "I'm done though, but I'm sure you knew that. I'm positive you were one of the people that kept me going through this process and I can't thank you enough for it. Trust me, it was hard and I know you're probably the one who negotiated with the big guy up there to keep me here, I suppose I should thank you for that too, but I know you'd say it just wasn't my time, so maybe that's true too," she continued, wiping her tears away with one of her fingers.

"I met your husband. He came to see me like you asked him to. He's a really nice guy, you were very lucky to have him, but I think he believes he was the lucky one. He clearly adores you and what's not to adore about you? You clearly are the most fearless woman I've ever met, next to Brittany of course. You have a lot of balls Ramirez," she said laughing slightly at the end.

"Anyway, I'll miss you and keep looking down on us because I can never get enough of your wisdom. I love you and I'll come see you again soon," she ended, getting up off her knees and placing her hand to her lips kissing it gently then resting it on the stone, before turning around to meet up with Brittany, who immediately kissed her, placing both hands on the shorter woman's cheeks.

"I love you," Brittany whispered into Santana's lips, making her smile brightly.

"I love you too," she replied softly, lacing her hand with hers. "Let's get home," she added as they walked out of the cemetery.

**Sx**

**Bx**

Brittany kissed down Santana's neck, sucking on it gently while she caressed her sides, letting a throaty groan escape the woman below her. Santana's lips were now puffy after Brittany insulted them with her own. Santana desperately wanted to touch her wife from head to toe, but Brittany swore that she wouldn't let her; that this time it was about Santana.

Brittany lifted the hem of Santana's shirt over her head and threw it to the side, her lips finding their way back to hers, kissing her as passionately as possible; like it was the first time all over again and in a way it was. Like this, they were having a new beginning.

Brittany connected her hands to Santana's breasts, causing Santana to arch her back at the touch. She somehow forgotten what it felt like to have Brittany do things to her and actually enjoy them. She moaned out grabbing her headboard as Brittany lowered her lips down, trailing her tongue over her nipples, letting a hiss escape Santana's lips. She wanted more and she was thankful for that; she _actually_ wanted more.

Brittany began sucking on Santana's left nipple, slowly lowering her hand to the waistband of her shorts in the dark room. The rest of the house was quiet since Maya was staying at Quinn and Rachel's for the night.

Brittany slid her hand into Santana's shorts, trailing her fingertips over the now wet hot area, causing Santana to groan out in anticipation. Brittany smiled into Santana's chest, placing light feathery kisses down her wife's body, lowering under the covers. She slid her fingers into the waistband and began pulling off the fabric as her panties followed.

She gently blew over the lips causing Santana to yelp and hit her head on the headboard, causing Brittany to pull the covers off her head and show Santana rubbing her head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to her laughing slightly, getting ready to slide back up next to her, only to be stopped.

"No, no it's fine. You just surprised me, keep going," she assured the blonde, who just nodded, wanting to continue as much as Santana did. She left the comforter off her as she dipped her lips down to Santana's center, kissing the sensitive area and just like that Santana's minor injury slowly faded away as if it never happened as Santana let out a hitched breath.

"Britt please," she groaned impatiently as Brittany listened, flicking her tongue against the nub, then teasing it as Santana reacted by bucking her hips into her face. Brittany then added her fingers into Santana, thrusting them deep into her, but slowly; not wanting this moment to end.

Brittany continued this pace until Santana only begged her to go faster as she switched it up for her wife to receive the pleasure she long deserved. Santana moaned loudly as she got closer and closer.

Brittany used her thumb to rub her clit as her tongue thrust into her, setting her soon over the edge and Brittany knew she was close by the way her walls were contracting.

"I love you, I love you Britt, I love you so much," she moaned out repeatedly and fast as she released, allowing Brittany to get the gratification she longed for all this time. She is finally tasting the sweetness that is her wife again and she wasn't allowing any of it to go to waste.

Brittany slid up and laid next to Santana, who was still coming down as Brittany laid there placing light kisses on her shoulder and collarbone, either she thought it would help or because she just couldn't stop kissing her; or it was possibly both of those reasons mixed into one.

Santana finally made the attempt and opened her eyes, looking at Brittany who smiled at her instantly which she gladly returned. Santana placed a light, but lingering kiss upon Brittany's lips, then pulled away.

"I missed you so much," Santana whispered to her, causing Brittany to give her that cute confused look.

"I didn't go anywhere," she told her with the confusion mixed into her voice. Santana laughed slightly, caressing her cheek.

"I mean I missed being intimate with you. I missed having a life with you. I just missed you," she explained her words, then slid on top of her wife, straddling her waist as Brittany held her by the hips. "And I've been doing a lot of thinking. This whole experience has been about me trying to figure myself out and deal with my issues and you've been so patient. I don't deserve you, but somehow you stayed. I look at this like it's a new beginning for us, so I think that it's only right to make this feel like a new beginning," she elaborated as Brittany continued to look up at her, now rubbing circles up and down her back, letting chills crawl up Santana's spine.

"I love you Britt Britt and I want to marry you," Santana finally proposed, making Brittany smile warmly at her.

"Honey, we're already married," Brittany stated laughing slightly, making Santana laugh as well, but look down in thought, capturing her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Yeah I know, but I mean I want to marry you again. In front of everyone, our friends and family and Maya," she told her, making Brittany continue to smile at her with complete adoration, slowly nodding.

"Okay, I'll marry you…again," she replied, attaching a laugh to the word _again_. "What else would you like?" She asked her as Santana leaned down placing her chin on her hands, which rested upon Brittany's chest.

She licked her lips and smiled to herself. "I think we should have another baby in the near future. Not now because I feel that it'd be too soon even though Maya is almost five, but I mean with me just getting out, I want to see how well I do at home before we take that step. I just feel we should give her a little brother or sister at some point. I always wanted more and I'm not going to be leaving, so I'll get to see my babies grow up to be big and strong like their Momma," she confessed, pecking Brittany's lips who giggled, but only to disagree with the last part.

"I think you're the big strong one. I want to see them grow up to be big and strong like their Mommy. You've come so far and I just feel like we've gone through so many crazy obstacles together since day one and I'll go through many more with you if I have to. I'm just not willing to give up on my soul mate and yes, I said it. You're my soul mate Santana, you always have been and you always will be," she equally confessed to Santana, who's eyes sparkled in the night. She leaned in and kissed Brittany passionately for a long moment before pulling away and whispering.

"_And the songbirds keep singing, like they know the score and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before," _

**Sx**

**Bx**

_3 months later._

So Santana has been home for the last three months and needless to say things couldn't be better and today things were about to get even greater because today Brittany and Santana were going to renew their vows in front of everyone they loved. They waited a little while, so Santana could get comfortable with the idea of being at home, but it was like nothing ever happened. Brittany at first thought it was a little strange, but then she remembered that Mark stated that the point was for her to be able to function throughout her days and not dwell on the past and that's exactly what happened; she hasn't dwelled.

Santana was dressed in a simple white dress; she wasn't exactly pure anymore, but they agreed to wear white for the occasion because neither was Brittany. She was checking herself out in the mirror, turning and spinning in different directions when there was a knock on the door and with a come in, the door opened to show Skylar.

Santana lit up, spotting her through the mirror, finally turning around and walking over to hug her.

"You look absolutely beautiful Santana," she complimented, making Santana smile brightly.

"Thank you. I don't really know why I'm so nervous though. I mean we're already married," she says shuffling around the room, making Skylar smile as her eyes followed her movements.

"You're doing it in front of more people for one and because this is to signify your new beginning and you have no idea how proud I am of you," she confessed, taking a seat on one of the chairs as Santana sat down on the one across from her.

"Thank you. I'm proud of you as well, I mean you're out of rehab too, so that's amazing," she truthfully stated, patting her leg gently, making her laugh slightly.

"Yeah you have know idea how glad I am to be home with my girlfriend and Braden," she breathed out looking down at a random space on the floor, even though she knew that Santana knew exactly how she felt since she was in the same boat six months ago.

"I expect play dates between Maya and Braden. Maybe one day they'll even date," Skylar joked, making Santana laugh.

"I doubt it. She seems to have her little eyes on a certain blonde," Santana replied, referring to Grace, making Skylar smirk and shake her head.

"I see it runs in the family," she retorted back, making Santana scoff, but giggle on the inside. "Anyway, let's get you remarried," Skylar added as they both got up. Santana checked herself over one more time in the mirror before taking a deep breath, grabbing her flowers and making her way out to her wife.

**Sx**

**Bx**

The wedding went off without a smash and no objections, which Santana considered a job well done, even though she knew that Puckerman desperately wanted to ruin it with one, but she begged him not to. Now it was reception time and everyone was scattered around dancing and chatting about different things.

Brittany and Santana were on the dance floor, doing a slow dance, just enjoying the moments they're creating, stealing small kisses here and there until a fast song comes on and they pull away.

"Babe I'm going to go talk to your parents," Brittany says confusing Santana because Brittany hardly ever spoke to them; well Santana hardly spoke to them. Brittany tries to reach out and they reach back, just not as hard and Santana just likes to avoid them like the plague. It wasn't that she disliked her parents and that they hated that she was a lesbian and married to Brittany because if that was the case they wouldn't have showed up for the wedding; she just didn't have a very healthy relationship with them. Brittany always wanted her to repatch things with them and maybe since they're all about new beginnings she should, but not right now.

Right now, she had her eye on someone else she'd rather spend time with. She walked around the dancing people until finally scooping the little girl up in a fits of giggles, tickling her.

"Mommy," she whines between her laughs and hard breathing.

"You going to dance with me Shrimp?" She asked her with a big grin, placing her down on the floor and holding her hand out like a Prince and taking a bow, making Maya giggle even more, but she nodded and did a little curtsy and grabbed her hand as they began swaying back and forth to the music.

Regardless of how fast it was they were having fun and Santana was spending time with her daughter, so what could possibly be better than that? What else did the world have in store for her? She wasn't sure, but what she did know was nothing was going to take her away from what was important.

**Sx**

**Bx**

"No Mommy!" Maya yelled at the television as Santana sat next to her with a controller in hand as did Maya. They were playing some racing game that Santana forgot the name of. They've been at this for a little over a half hour and Santana was winning every time, regardless of how easy she was going on the poor six year old. Yes Maya was now six, which means it's been a little over a year since Santana's been home from rehab and things were still going well. Their new beginning was only growing, literally.

The front door opened and Brittany filed into the house with grocery bags, placing them on the counter with a huff.

"Oh God, you two are still at that? You've been playing since I left," she stated, walking over to the couch, leaning down and pecking Santana's lips, then sitting down on the couch arm.

"I almost got her Momma!" Maya yelled in excitement as their cars turned the corner, not daring to advert her eyes in her mother's direction. After a moment, their cars went through another lap and the finish line was in sight and it was nearly neck and neck when suddenly Santana's car got tipped and spun, causing her to gasp.

"Hey! You cheater!" She yelled jokingly as Maya's car ran through the finish line, causing the little girl to jump up and do a happy dance that she won, causing Brittany to giggle as Santana pouted. "Stop being such a sore winner," she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest, causing Brittany to lean down and kiss the top of her head.

"Well stop being such a sore loser love," she whispered into her ear, only to earn a sigh from Santana, who placed the control down as Brittany got up from the arm to go put the food away.

"Hey do you need help?" Santana asked over her shoulder already making her way off the couch, with much difficulty. Brittany turned around to see Santana waddling over to her like a penguin, making Brittany laugh slightly. "What?" She asked her wife, only to have Brittany shake her head and walk over to her and rub her stomach.

"You just look so uncomfortable. I can put everything away, just sit on the couch and rest. I got it," she tells her, placing another light kiss on her lips, only to have Santana sigh heavily.

"When does this _thing _come out again?" Santana asked jokingly, poking her hard stomach as she received a smirk from Brittany as she placed milk into the refrigerator.

"That _thing_ is our son Santana and he comes in a month. He's going to be a little heartbreaker like his Mommy," she commented as Santana smiled and laughed slightly in her direction.

"You mean like his Momma because last I checked I didn't break hearts," she commented, causing Brittany to laugh out loud like it was a joke only to earn a look of confusion from Santana.

"Please you use to break hearts in high school," she retorted, putting away some fruit in the drawer as Santana leaned her elbows on the counter.

"You broke some too," Santana mumbled. "So maybe he'll just be a heartbreaker because we both were," she added as Maya ran into the kitchen, overhearing the conversation.

"Am I a heartbreaker?" She asked her parents, causing Santana to look down at her blinking and pursing her lips out.

"No," she said simply, turning away causing Maya to pout her lips as Brittany looked at the scene with a small smirk. Santana finally turned back at Maya who was still pouting. "I'm kidding of course you are. Only the biggest," she told her, leaning down kissing the top of her head; again with much difficulty.

After leaning back up with a huff, she poked her stomach again. "You better come out at least two weeks earlier or something," she spoke to her stomach, only to earn a few kicks in the ribs, causing her to wince. "Hey now! That's not very nice," she added basically yelling at her stomach as he continued to kick her. Brittany ended up walking over to her, placing her hands on her stomach and rubbing it gently, feeling the kicks for a few moments. They felt incredibly weird, but they soon subsided.

"How do you always do that?" Santana asked looking right into her wife's eyes, who just smiled warmly at her.

"Well first off, I don't poke him and second all he needs his "Daddy's" touch," she commented, kissing her warmly again then pulling away, earning a gross expression from Maya, which went unnoticed by them.

"He really is my kid. I didn't like to be poked either," Santana stated making Brittany laugh and agree. Santana hated being annoyed in general as a kid. That's how she kept getting angry and starting fights; she was too easily annoyed.

"Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke," Maya's voice rang in to their ears as she poked Santana's side, only to look at her with that hard look, causing Maya to giggle. She knew her Mommy wouldn't do anything to her; she just wanted to annoy her. Santana on the other hand would've chased her around the house for doing that, but since she's eight months pregnant that would be impossible to do, so she just ignored it.

"Maya go wash up we're about to start making dinner and I want you to help," Brittany told her, causing Maya to nod and run into the bathroom. "As for you, I want you to sit your booty on the couch and I'll call you in here when it's ready," she instructed to Santana, who pouted. She hated being immobile, but she knew it will be worth it in the end. She'll have everything she wanted and what could be better than that?

No doubt she wanted more in her life, but for now their new beginning is only just like it states…_beginning_. She couldn't wait for what else was in store for her and her family. The wait would be worth it and for that, she was willing to be patient. For her family and their happiness.

_Fin._

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><p><em>Author's Note: So this is the end and I wanted to end it where everyone will be happy. Don't be fooled that just because they're not fighting and Santana isn't going completely mad that everything is absolutely perfect. I think that if you want to infer it, they're in the mindset that everything is falling into place and they know that everything is going to be okay and it shows because they're happy...if that makes sense at all. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has reviewed and stuck by reading and reviewing and just simply checking with the updates. I've realized I wrote this in a way that was so sudden and all over the place, but I want to let you know my next stories will not be like that. I promise you that this was just a learning experience and I've learned from that mistake. Anyway, keep checking in for new stories and I will keep writing. Follow my Tumblr, I make little updates on my status on my stories and answer everyone's messages who leave me any, but until next time, I will see you guys later.<br>_


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